Were you a BROTHER FROM HELL?

Well Bombeni, I know exactly what its like to be abused. My abuse though was given to me by my parents. So, to a sense I know what you went through. Now, your brother was the brother from hell and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Even though your brother did all that to you, I think you should forgive him and move on. He might be denying it cause he doesn't want his wife to know how horrible he was to you and your sisters. But anyways about the appology thing, you need to forgive him before you never get the chance to again. I know that it feels as if there is no relationship and that might be true, but what if he died right this second? I mean then you would have never had that relationship, nor got to the bottom of why he did that stuff to you guys. Forgive him and sit down with him or call him and just talk to him and tell him all of what you told us. Refresh his memory of everything that happened. Explain it all to him. I know its hard to forgive someone for abusing you, but in the long run you need to do it. He might have changed now that you all are older and he deserves a chance to make it up to all of you for the hell that he caused you. I know that I'm only 18 and that maybe I sound really stupid and neive about how I'm saying this, but there really is a point. I mean, my father passed away, and even though he use to beat me like crazy, I wish I got the chance to forgive him, and talk to him about why he did that. I know that its going to be hard to forgive your brother for that, but you need to. For your sake, his, and your families. I mean, if you don't forgive him you also don't give him the chance to appologize or make things right. Anyways, thats my opinion and advice, do with it what you will.

reply to post by Confuzzled_1


Confuzzled you don't sound stupid or naive at all and I appreciate your input. You see, I have no feelings whatsoever for him; I don't hate him, I don't even know him. We have never in our lives ever hugged or shook hands even. I'm not a cruel person. If he were to make a move and call me or even move back here and start trying to get closer I wouldn't stop it. The thing that bothered me about the whole thing was why my mom was drug in recently as the middle man. My dad just died in April and she is mourning that loss then they lay this thing on her about why his sisters reject him. We don't reject him, we have only seen him about 7-8 times since we were teenagers. If they wanted to talk about all this stuff they should have called me or my sister, not call my mom and get her all upset and crying. Who know what the future holds. It does bug me a little that he denies that any abuse ever took place, so how could we start new and reconcile knowing that he denies it as though we made it all up in our head? For now, it is reburied. It may never surface again but if it does, the only way I could deal would be to ask him why he hated and was so mean to us as kids. If he admitted it that is all I would need, not even an apology, just recognition that I am not some nutcase who imagined this all my life. Thanks for your reply!

reply to post by seagrass


Oh my gosh seagrass, that almost makes my story sound like a day at Romper Room (you should remember Romper Room)

Your deal is much different in that you have had to continue dealing with him. Luckily my brother moved far away when I was 17 years old so was able to put it behind pretty quickly. Lemme know if you ever want to talk. See ya and good luck.

Our brothers were very bad Don't Bees..........

[edit on 4-8-2008 by Bombeni]

Don't get me wrong, I am now some what grateful for my experiences. It has taught me an enormous amount about myself, self-esteem, self-respect, self-love, and compassion.

Well seagrass I thought I posted a reply but it ended up in cyberspace I guess. Sounds like you have it a little rougher than me. Its a close call though. I was fortunate when he moved 1000 miles away when I was 17 years old. I only saw him 7-8 times since then. I don't even know him really. And I don't carry this thing around, I was just upset that he drug my mom his is mourning the passing of my dad in April. She tried to keep peace in the family but had 4 kids, a job, 10-100 dogs (we raised registered bluetick hounds and standard poodles), she also cooked a big meal every night and somehow kept it altogether. She doesn't deserve this being laid in her lap now, and if he called me I would tell him so. He needs to man up, if he really wants to, I tend to think it is the wifey who is fretting not him, and call me or my sister himself. Thanks for the reply. Stay in touch!

reply to post by seagrass


Yeah I know where you are coming from; what doesn't kill us makes us stronger....

I think it's the same in every family,growing up my big brother use to teae and beat the crap out of me,but in growing up my parents were always busy with work etc,my brother taught me how to swim,roller skate,how to work on cars ,besides when I got to be about 16 I always played sports and lifted weights,pretty soon my big brother wasn't so big anymore,I knew I could kick his butt,but after all those years still was intimidated