posted on Jun, 20 2008 @ 09:56 AM
I would like to pick a few brains, due to an issue within my family. I'll have to give some background details.
I grew up the youngest of four kids, three sisters and a brother four years older than me. This was in the 50's and 60's that we grew up. My
brother was what you would call a redneck, he and my dad were avid hunters (4-5 times a week, coonhunting). My brother was meaner than a junkyard dog
to me and my other sister. The oldest kid was another sister and he didn't mess with her, he was probably afraid her boyfriend would beat the crap
out of him. Both of my parents worked fulltime jobs. When I say he was mean, here are just some examples: If we were on the phone and he wanted to
use it, he would just physically grab it from us and hang it up. He would heat stretched out wire hangers over a gas burner until they were glowing
and force us to go outside, even in our underwear, then lock us out for hours at a time. We kids were all upstairs in a two-story house, and he would
wake up early and come in our rooms and use these duck call things right in our ears just to torment us and make us wake up a lot earlier than we had
to. He would spit on us. He called us names constantly. My one sister always had a weight problem since she was very young and he said terrible
things to her about it. I on the other hand was underweight and he called me names too like stick kid, beanpole, etc., but I know he made my other
sister feel worse. I remember one time when we got home from school I made a can of cream of mushroom soup and used milk, instead of water. When he
saw I had used milk he went nuts and screamed "our parents are out working to take care of us and you use milk instead of water"? He then hit me
over the head with a spiked heal -- I had a hole in my head a 1/4 inch deep; I had to go to emergency room. Another time he threw me into sliding
glass door and it broke, I had cuts and bruises everywhere. It was really bad when he started chewing tobacco at about age 15 and spit the juice on
us. He married when he was 21, right after the navy, they moved about 1000 miles away. We would see them once every couple of years. There was
never any letter writing or phone calling between him and any of us sisters. Now, 30 years later, his wife is hassling my mom about why his sisters
have never wanted anything to do with him. They never had any kids and she has had cancer twice and I think she is concerned he is going to be left
alone one day with no relatives at all. The thing is, we are adults, and my sisters and I haven't sat around and talked about how mean he was, but
he was and so there was no relationship to continue with after he moved away. Now we hardly know each other. So, as I said my sister-in-law keeps
hassling my mom about it and yesterday my mom finally blurted out "I'll tell you why they don't have a relationship, it's because he despised his
sisters and was meaner than hell to them growing up". Well, she jumped my brother about it, he claimed he didn't know what she was talking about,
that he did not despise his sisters and wasn't mean to them. He was crying last night, my mom was crying, and she is extremely upset about it.
Were you a brother that mistreated your sisters? If so how would you handle this, would you admit it, and try to heal the old wounds and start anew?
Understand that we girls don't dwell on this at all, in fact we don't even feel like we really have a brother. It's my sister-in-law and brother
(who still live 1000 miles away) who are just now bringing this stuff up, which is shocking to us. They act like is has always been a mystery to them
why we haven't had a relationship. I wouldn't even know where to begin now. The 10 or 12 times I have seen him in the past 30 years was very
superficial, it was like someone we hardly knew dropping in.
I am just curious if anyone has anything to comment on this, from their own experience.