posted on Jun, 12 2008 @ 05:53 PM
Breifne and Madseason,
I don't mean to sound ungrateful for my life, as I'm certainly not. I know that I don't have a horrible life. In fact, I realize that I have it
better than most. I'm really just remarking on the somewhat-sudden realization that I have absolutely nothing tying me down to the life I've chosen
to live up to this point. It's a strange feeling to see yourself a certain way for a while, and then to realize that not only is the foundation that
you believed you had shattering, but that it doesn't even exist. I don't "have nothing" in the sense that I'm a miserable person who has failed
at life. I "have nothing" in the sense that my life, as of this moment, is almost entirely up in the air. I could go in absolutely any direction
right now with out risking any serious loss. It's a strange feeling, like I said, but it's also somewhat liberating. I mean, I could run off and
backpack around Europe for a while if I wanted to. Or, I could suddenly decide that I wanted to be a hair stylist or join the Army. None of these
things would be a very big divergence from what I've created thus far. It's like being in the middle of the ocean in a boat, and you know that
every which way is a different plot of land with completely different people, jobs, adventures, cultures, and lifestyles.
So please, don't think I'm some ungrateful kid sitting around all day complaining that his life sucks while his parents hand him everything. It's
not that at all. I've simply found myself in a very odd situation that's vastly different than the one I would have pictured just 2 months ago. To
have your entire perception on what your world is suddenly rattle and shift is a very strange feeling that I felt required a little reflection. I
choose to do it on a public form because I like hearing back from people. So, thanks for your responses!
Actually, DG, I live in AZ. Kinda far away, but I wish I lived in Cape Cod! And yes, I would definitely come and visit you. It'd be a blast!