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NEW YORK...Hillary and Bill Clinton announced today that they are forming a new political party to continue her fight for the presidency. Seeking to draw comparisons with Theodore Roosevelt's 'Bull Moose', the new party will be called 'Surly Eris' for the Greek Goddess of discord and strife. According to the press release, the party will "cater to the perceived slights and accumulated frustrations harbored by women of a certain age and Lanny Davis."
Speculation that Clinton would be placed on the Democratic ticket ended earlier in the day when representatives for Barack Obama refused her demand that he do all his campaigning in an open top limousine. Said a visibly indignant Harold Ickes, "Would we have liked Obama to be capable of enjoying pleasant weather? You bet your ass."
Meanwhile, longtime Clinton friend and bagman Terry McAuliffe stressed that the new party would be open to "anyone with resentments and a credit card" including "honest, hard working Americans who just happen not to like blacks."
When pressed by reporters on how Senator Clinton had managed to squander every institutional advantage in her descent from inevitability to runner-up, spokesman Howard Wolfson decried "this endless media fascination with the factual" adding "this isn't about who won what how, this is about something far more important, the future of the Clintons".