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Question for the Men: Should you give up your seats?

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posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 09:07 PM
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DEAR ABBY: I live in Chicago and commute to and from work each day on the El train, which is typically crowded. There are never enough seats to go around. What surprises me is the lack of thoughtfulness that men show when it comes to seating. It's extremely rare for a man to offer a seat to a lady. In fact, I have watched men race past women to grab seats. Just the other day, there was a very pregnant woman on the train and not a single person offered her a seat.

I'm not trying to portray females as the needy, weaker sex, but some chivalry would be nice. In this age of equal rights, am I outdated in my thinking? -- NEEDS A SEAT IN CHICAGO

DEAR NEEDS A SEAT: I don't think so, but there are those who would argue with us. With more people using public transportation because of increased fuel prices, seats are at a premium. One would hope that the commuters would practice good manners, but if a man didn't offer a pregnant woman his seat during the commute, I would offer her mine rather than force her to stand on swollen feet and ankles.


source

Ok I hope that was allowed. Here's a question for all the guys out there and girls.

What do you all think? Should a man give up a seat on a bus, train, whatever for a pregnant woman? Or any woman for that matter?

All answers welcome.




posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 09:10 PM
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I would like to give my answer as yes. I think men should be gentlemen enough to give a seat to a lady. Especially one who is pregnant.

I too wonder though as the author of the question did. Is our way of thinking outdated.

I personally would hope that manners would never be outdated.



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 09:12 PM
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reply to post by Shar
 


It might be old school but I would always (and always) offer my seat to a lady, elderly, or handicapped person.

It is how I was raised, and I have never thought that it was an obligation or inconvenience, like I said...

old school.



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 09:12 PM
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Pregnant, or elderly woman, yes always no matter what is the situation.

Younger healthy women, it depends. Maybe sickness would qualify.



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 09:16 PM
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Guy's should always offer up their seat to a pregnant woman, that is just the right thing to do. I think for non-pregnant women though it is fair game as to who gets the seat or not. If you want equality you can equally stand like anyone else who didn't get to the seats first.


I do have a question though, how come none of the women who had a seat offered it to the pregnant woman??? Why does it sound like it is ok for other women to let a pregnant woman stand???



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 09:22 PM
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It depends on the posterior of the potential sitee... Think about it logically, me (red blooded male
) sat comfortably, now if the woman has a great butt, it's fair to surmise that she is in good physical health - I'm quite happy to let her stand, as it provides better covert ogling potential

Conversely - saggy butt, hurts my eyes, that persons bunions are probably playing up, stands to reason that person gets the seat and I use the opportunity to scan the carriage for fresh meat... train lurches "sorry luv - have we met before, no - coffee??"

Ever the opportunist



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 09:53 PM
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Most definitely yes. Especially a pregnant woman. The only occasion I would consider not giving up a seat is if I had been working all day on my feet.



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 10:04 PM
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Pregnant women, elderly, ill, physically handicapped, injured people deffinitely yes. It is most of the time detrimental or extremely uncomfortable for these people to stand. There is no reason why a perfectly healthy person, male or female, cannot give up their seat to a person like this.

Women in general, I say they can stand just like the men around her. There is no reason, especially in todays world of equality, that women cannot stand just as the men do. Equality goes both ways and you sometimes have to deal with unpleasantries just as the rest of us do.

On the work train home, my feet are hurting just as much as yours, if you can get to the seat before me you can have it. You would expect me to stand if you got to the seat first, I expect the same from you.

Just my two cents.



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 10:24 PM
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In my city, it is required that you give your seat to a pregnant women, someone with a newborn in a stroller, handicapped or blind person, had to do it today, either way I would as I think its the proper thing to do, but to give my seat to a person who doesnt NEED it, well i wont do it, seats will open up, I always have a very heavy bag with me, and by the end of the day I am usually very tired and would like to sit instead of stand.



posted on Jun, 2 2008 @ 10:48 PM
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There was a time when I always gave up my seat to a woman. Now, the mores of society have changed and some women will insult you for showing any signs of common courtesy, so I might give up my seat for a woman, but not without some consideration.

Am I tired after having done hard manual labor all day? Does the woman look like she really needs the seat more than I do?

Of course, I think nothing of giving up my seat to an elderly, frail or handicapped individual.



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 01:18 AM
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Thanks everyone for your responses.




JacKatMtn,,

There's nothing wrong with being old school! That is a good thing. We need more old school in our world!


wow so I have learned that some would give up their seats for pregnant or elderly or sick. However, not all will and not to just any lady.

I am old fashion even though I am only 40. I think old I guess. To me if a man didn’t give up a seat he would not be a gentlemen in my eyes. Same with holding my door open, carrying my bags, etc….

I know I look young but my soul must be old. I really do feel like men have their place and women theirs. To me a man is suppose to protect his woman and be polite to women around him.

So what about this to other women and men on here, am I way over on my feelings? Am I too old fashion myself?





[edit on 3-6-2008 by Shar]



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 01:43 AM
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If she is hot she can sit on my lap .
lol
But seriously if there is an person who is elderly , handicapped or a women is pregnant I would give my seat up for them . But otherwise I would have paid a full adult fare like anyone else.



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 02:11 AM
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I am 19 years old and I always give up my seat to woman, elderly, handicapped, pretty much anyone who is not a healthy guy. I always hold doors open, carry bags, help anyone who needs it with whatever. Whenever I'm with my mom somewhere she gets complemented on my manners, I get embarrased by it though.



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 02:50 AM
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Originally posted by Shar

I am old fashion even though I am only 40. I think old I guess. To me if a man didn’t give up a seat he would not be a gentlemen in my eyes. Same with holding my door open, carrying my bags, etc…

...So what about this to other women and men on here, am I way over on my feelings? Am I too old fashion myself?


Chivalry is dying, thats just the way it is.
In the race for "equality" man has been subjected too a lot of negative things by the charge of it's female counterpart, it has made man use caution, fearing actions may lead to insult, one of the things used with caution, common courtesy towards strangers. Particularly in large cities, when at times it is best too keep your eyes to the floor.
But as with every passing of a generation, ideals and morality change.
As for the elderly, frail, handicapped and maybe a pregnant woman, yes I would give them my seat, (and do).
Those that are fighting fit can do what us hunter gatherers have too do, God knows they've earned it.


I would still like too hear an answer to a question that was asked earlier...
It's not a quote but:

What about women? Do women give their sets up too other pregnant women? or too the elderly and so on??



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 03:09 AM
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Originally posted by fox_3000au


What about women? Do women give their sets up too other pregnant women? or too the elderly and so on??


I personally have given up my seat for all the above. pregnant, older, and guess what men.

Thats right when an older gentleman comes in I would get up for him. Though he didn't take it and asked me to sit back down.

Yep, I would say I am without a doubt very old fashion in my beliefs.



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 03:28 AM
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Anonymous ATS

That is very sweet of you. You remind me of my son. He's 17 and is a gentlemen.

He helps people out constantly. He will pick something up they dropped, or help them in a wheelchair at a door, or unload the person's cart whose in the wheel chair. I have seen him open the doors and never does he meet a stranger.

He talks to everyone!!! I am very quite I don't think I gave him that. LOL

I don't know how my son became like this. I didn't exactly tell him to do these things. It just seemed like he did them naturally. IDK.



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 03:41 AM
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Originally posted by GradyPhilpott
There was a time when I always gave up my seat to a woman. Now, the mores of society have changed and some women will insult you for showing any signs of common courtesy, so I might give up my seat for a woman, but not without some consideration.



Well I think it is sad if a woman insults you for showing any kind of courtesy. I think we should not always be MC (media correct) what they shove down our throats and how they want people to behave. I think we should just go back to being nice to each other and putting the other person before we put our selves.



[edit on 3-6-2008 by Shar]



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 05:05 AM
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I always give up my seat to elderly, women, children, handicapped and anyone who is carrying alot of stuff, I still say yes/no sir and ma'am.
Bit old fashioned maybe, but I think we need more politeness and manners in this day and age.



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 05:57 AM
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For a pregnant woman or someone in greater need yes.

For ANY woman?
No.

Simply because I've had bad experiences in the past that have shrivelled my chivalry.

Example:
Going into a bar and holding the door open for a woman coming in behind me

my reward?

"What, because I'm a woman I can't open the door by myself"

I closed it on her.



Thankfully, this seems to be getting more rare - so I may take up my old chivalrous ways



posted on Jun, 3 2008 @ 06:48 AM
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I think its really sweet when a man offers me his seat, One day on the tube it was a bumpy ride and i was holding on for dear life with my shopping and my stupid heels i decided to wear that day lol This man just stood up took my arm and said "hey hun you sit down" i think he was worried that i may end up breaking my ankle,

I do find it lovley,

But also as a female i have often also given my seat up to other women and men and many children,

You know the sort, the moms standing there with shopping trying to hold on to the child whos falling every where, Stuff like that,

I always feel guilty seeing people standing up when im prefectly able to stand so i do tend to rush to give mine up to the nearest in need.



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