posted on May, 28 2008 @ 08:20 AM
I've never felt the need to express this because I thought I might be crazy, or others wouldn't understand. I was actually excited to see that I'm
not the only person out there with these thoughts. I'm still young but I find myself challenged with thoughts that people much older than me might
experience. I have felt a pretty similar "waiting" feeling. It's like a vague impending doom feeling. I can't say that I feel like something bad
or good will happen, since I can only make comparisns to feelings I have had before on a shorter span. I do know that the feeling I have isn't as
strong as it used to be, but I still feel it is relevant to my life and probably everyone else's too.
The feelings I have now started about the time I was a senior in highschool. It was at that time I started to really look at the world for what it
was. After leaving home and truly experiencing what we consider "life", I began to realize much of life as we know consists of many intricate lies
and tricks. Our world is all material and we often fail to see the true joys of life that are shadowed by video games, television, cars, etc. and
most of all; money. There are so few things left that are genuine and real. I find myself very lucky in the times that I can experience something
This sense of some impending event of some sort, made me ask myself several things. For no apparent reason I remember picking my brain over why I
should put myself through college if my education would be meaningless. Yes, for some reason I had and still do somewhat, a feeling that everything I
have done and the knowledge I gained would eventually be useless during my lifetime. While there may be truth to that in the sense of legacies and
what not.. This is more like a feeling that all of those things will mean nothing because of some event that would render most of what EVERYONE knows
useless. I think perhaps a drastic change in our reality or life on Earth as we know it.
Today though I try to forget about that feeling, live in the moment and experience the "real". I try not to let myself get caught up in the facade
that most people live in. If something is going to change that voids everything we currently know.. Then so be it. I'll know I truly "lived" while
I could. So, yes I have and still do feel as though I'm "waiting" for something. Whether or not something is going to happen I have no clue, but
I do have some words you may find comfort in. I think part of it is just human nature. It is the nature of wanting some clarification as to why
we're here and what does this all lead to. Just live your life for what it is and don't get caught up in the material stuff. If a change is
coming, I think it is going to deal directly with the way we humans live and function. It will be an awakening of some kind that will change the way
we think and percieve our current reality. If it happens in 2012, you'll know that you experienced this life while you could.
The feeling still haunts me from time to time, but I know I have to forget about it.