Originally posted by Skyfloating
Ive read a lot about this but the topic remains elusive. So excuse me if I take this opportunity to compile a deep-diggers question-list which you
might enjoy answering. When (and if) answering, no need to put the questions into quotes.
Let's call it a bit of an OCD organizational thing that I almost
feel compelled to do...
I'll compromise by omitting the attribution within the quote tags, as I am sure it is safe for everyone to assume that I am answering your
1. What childhood nightmare do you remember the best?
Two immediately come to mind. FYI, I feel no embarrassment (that I will admit) regarding anything I post. Though believe me, I will have the
1) A short memory where I was on the ground with a girl that my mom babysat at the time (I have known this girl so long that she is arguable my 'big
sister'). At any rate, We were on the ground and we were getting shot by Lex Luthor shooting a kryptonite laser/gun. I was blocking her.
2) I was alone on an ice berg (human sized ice berg) floating through a dark cavern.
Interestingly enough, I cannot bite into a popsicle to this day with my front teeth. I dislike immensely putting things into/taking out of a freezer
as the sound of frozen things sends me into a "nails on chalkboard" physical reaction. Indeed, typing that sentence called that physical
There was also another instance...I was laying alone in the middle of the night in the middle of our front lawn before we got a fence. While I was
lying there, a car pulled up to the curb, directly in front of me and a man got out of the passenger side and walked directly toward me. I couldn't
move and then finally the memory is gone prior to any 'resolution' of the anxiety. I have woken up multiple times throughout my life in a
'paralysis' and as such question whether or not this was a dream...
It's weird to have those types of questions regarding one's personal experience, for the record.
2. Would you agree that its unusual for an 8 year old child to have panic attacks (considering this is normally a carefree age)?
Yup. I would also agree that a pronounced and repeated panic attack would be unusual were it to happen at 20 years of age and once more in the past
year. The last time it occurred, I was driving and was able to visualize a sort of half arsed self hypnosis script (after having pulled over) to calm
3. Do you think this panic attack was the psychic pre-view of what would happen in the hospital, the psychic-attractor of strange people meddling with
you or were panic attacks the result of something already happening to you?
I think that it is more likely the result of something that had already happened. What exactly, I could speculate for quite a bit but it really is a
4. Were you operated on in hospitals?
Not to my knowledge. I concede that there is a possibility that I was indeed 'implanted' (despite the social stigma I may incur from stating as
such) but I can't say for sure.
5. Do you habitually experience chills/recognitions when watching science-fiction involving implants, secret projects, paranoia,
friends-are-not-what-they-seem scenarios? (Examples: Total Recall, Coma, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Cypher)
Inner Space creeps me out...Killer Clowns from Outer Space...to name a few. Regarding your examples...I am mostly fascinated...even with
friends-are-not-what-they-seem scenarios. You see, when I first realized the possibility (I call it a possibility for the purpose of online skeptics)
I was offended as hell and pissed off that people could pretend to say positive things about me and then behave with a seeming superiority in all
other aspects. My questions were treated with percieved disdain. So I worked on learning. Since I never percieved that anyone was actively
attempting to harm me (which is why I suspect that this may just be a behavioral modification interest) then I worked on being able to 'talk back'
without being talked down to. So it is a very strange relationship that I have and have had with various humans.
6. What other oddities have you noticed concerning friends?
Making decisions without consulting me.
Talking around me. In my early twenties, I never really participated in social discussions...yet I was 'allowed' to be present on a variety of
situations. At some point, it occurred to me that it was not only odd that people were taking my silence as an acceptable expression, but odd that
seemed to comment on it.
There were also plenty of situations where out of context aggression was experienced...where I would think that I was the subject of a collectiveley
held negative notion or emotion (perhaps they were pissed at me, etc).
In my early twenties, I also couldn't seem to live in the same place for longer than three months....halfway house when I lost my job, a friend of a
friends house (where the owner was a mystic for her clientele) and in a motel (one room). The motel sucked because I had to live alone, almost
I have also had a conversation with a friend where we were discussing my 'issues' and I pointed out that the flow of conversation and the times when
others would interject there thoughts were too reactive to be that of a naturally occurring discussion. He agreed with me.
7. What memories come up that you cant associate with any supposedly real thing that happened to you? (Includes: Displaced memories, memories without
any connection to other events, places or people, strangely vivid memories, unrelated violent memories)
It would actually probably be better to answer this question on an ongoing basis because their are literally dozens...I just don't recall them all at
*But one would be remembering waking up in the middle of the night with two 'friends' climbing in through the bedroom _..while my
'girlfriend' was telling me to go back to sleep.
*Waking up in the middle of the night while I was living in my one room motel room and hearing a buzzsaw noise very
loud in my ears. I was
unable to move my arms and legs, torso taut. After a few seconds I moved my neck and regained mobility for the rest of my limbs. Don't remember
anything after that.
*Waking up, in a different time and environment (~a year and a half later), and having the same thing as above happen. Moved then too...which pleases
*I have gone to sleep on a few occasions and woken up, like, ten minutes later in a violent rage. Most of the time this occurred, I was living alone
in a motel room. Each time this occurred, no alcohol. But it felt as if I had been given a huge dose of adrenaline. This has not happened in almost
*I have various OCD symptoms. I can control them to an extent...but washing hands was out of control at one point.
8. What about your parents?
For reasons I hope are obvious...I will not discuss my parents in a forum where they are unlikely to respond. Not that I would say anything
untrue...but I would regret an inaccurrate inference be made.
9. Might your interest in conspiracy-theories be an attempt to remember something forgotten?
No doubt. I came to ATS after all of this had begun and was pleased at the social atmosphere. So I stayed. And learned. I even campaigned for a
mind control forum at one point...
My first year was spent looking through the Cisco Wheeler/Fritz Springmeier materials;
. I still refer to it on occassion, but
experience is still my goto for that....I try and not let the online material inflect my perception as much as possible....to what degree of success,
10. Have you had yourself x-rayed for implants? If not, are you going to do so?
I have not, though I have had an MRI....I never got to see it...
I intend to, but I have a bit of a trust problem and would like to know more specifics about the actual machines, how they work, etc...
Besides, every time I think about it, I start the 'doubting' process all over again.
I can attempt to clarify any questions that anyone has regarding the above. I will try and get the last half up there within (at least) a day...