This is really an excellent thread that appears to be getting little attention relative to what I believe it deserves, but with that being said....
I am currently a senior Psych. student at a research university in GA.
I can tell you that what we learn in school, without a doubt, does NOT substantiate your story.
Now, with that being said, I am in no way a doubter of your story.
I believe that certain measures pertaining to the manipulation of BEHAVIOR are totally possible, but when dealing with the human brain, things tend to
become more tricky.
The brain works by using what we call an electrochemical process and this process is facilitated by individual neurons, which are wholly separate from
one another.
These neurons use BOTH the concentration gradients of the actual chemicals found within each neuron and the electrical charges of said chemicals in
each neuron to communicate, but it is the ELECTRICAL charge that is passed between the neurons that decides if a neuron should fire and, if it does
fire, then what type of neurotransmitters should be released to determine the type of neuronal communication.
My point in typing this, is to say that modern psychopharmacology focuses solely on either INCREASING (agonist) or DECREASING (antagonist) the
potential of neurotransmitters.
The focus is on the chemical aspect of the electrochemical process, but the actual process used in deciding how the nervous system will respond is the
ELECTRICAL part of the electrochemical process.
(We do discuss electroshock therapy. Torture in my opinion)
This is something that is quickly glossed over in the undergraduate understanding of the function of the human brain.
We solely focus on the chemicals involved in the nervous system.
Okay, now in my opinion this is purposefully overlooked in favor of things that can be isolated, synthesized and finally patented in order to make
money.
Unfortunately the brain does not work well when things are isolated. This is contrary to the mechanisms involved in brain function. The brain does not
isolate certain specific behaviors or beliefs to one area of the brain. Several areas work in conjunction in order to produce thoughts/behaviors.
(This is a design feature of the brain that makes it similar to bulkheads on a supertanker, imho. The brain is the only organ that does not actively
regenerate its cells, so as a protective measure evolution designed the brain in this fashion).
NOW....
I say all of this to essentially reinforce some parts of your story.
The mechanisms behind brain function are known, but not openly shared in academia because of one reason, PROFIT for the pharmaceutical companies.
Ibogaine is a perfect example.
Whatever is happening to you, I am of the opinion that finding a therapist who is congruent to your story could do miracles for any behaviors in which
you engage that you find personally distressful.
Any therapist who tries to diagnose you, especially the voices part or the paranoia part, without diagnosing ALL 5 AXES in the DSM and without
validating what you tell them, then they are suspect and you should leave immediately.
Not all shrinks are freaks and, believe it or not, many of us have had similar experiences and helping others is a way for us to work through similar
issues.
A good therapist should not judge, be honest, be congruent with you in what they say and DO, and always empathize.
If you do not feel comfortable then it is for a reason.
Never doubt yourself and know that if you are talking about it on this forum and you are aware of your situation, then you ARE NOT AXIS II.
YOU ARE AXIS I.
And axis I disorders are behavioral and can be accommodated.
(I tell you this to make you wary of certain diagnoses)
Shalom, and I can only offer you faith and hope, and BTW....
I was heavily manipulated as a child. I know that what you are speaking of is real; however, most in the field of psychology will not believe you
because we ARE TAUGHT not to believe you.
Like I said, find a therapist that does "believe" you.
There are big truths and little truths.
The opposite of a little truth is a lie, but the opposite of a big truth is still the truth.