posted on May, 20 2008 @ 05:18 PM
I'm new to this, so it might be messy (I'll get better as I come here more often, I hope) and my English may not be perfect as I'm Dutch. Now that
I've mentioned all of this, here it goes:
I was just wondering if it's possible that I've got like contact with "the other world" (I mean ghosts) since a drug experience I've had (or
maybe even since earlier on)? I'm 24 now and I've been clean for over 4 years now (totally clean, no drugs at all anymore, not even weed or alcohol)
but things seem to have changed in a way. I'll start at the very beginning to make it all clear.
When I was 6, my grandfather died and from that moment on I couldn't sleep anymore. I could still see him... I was convinced he was going to kill me.
I could even feel my heart hurting real badly. Nobody believed me though, so I started thinking I was weird and I tried to just "get over it".
Didn't really work, but I guess I learnt to live with it. When I was 12, it all got worse again. I was on a holiday and as I was walking near a lake,
I really felt attracted to it. I could hardly walk on the road, because the lake just seemed to "call" me for a reason. I always just "had" to
walk right next to it, trying really hard not to fall in. Right before that experience I had done something really stupid with my friend. We had tried
to call ghosts. What happened was really weird. The door just slammed (nobody else was there), there was a shadow in the bathroom, there was this
really loud BANG and I had a weird salty sensation in my mouth. Now, I know this all sounds really weird and maybe insane, but I swear this is how I
For many years I kept on having the sensation of being attracted to dangerous places, like lakes, the middle of a very busy road, the top of a steep
When I was 15 I got really depressed over this and other things and I made the mistake of starting to take drugs. A lot. There were two times that I
had badtrips. In the first one there was my grandfather again, and he kept on telling me that I was going to die. The second time I saw my head being
cut off, lying in front of me on the floor. My grandfather showed up again. Really scary. When I was 20 I finally managed to stop doing drugs, after
faling school and trying to kill myself one too many times.
But since the badtrips, I really feel like I can feel some sort of presence. Like for example when I'm in a house that I don't know, I can tell that
someone died, in which room and how it happened. I've never been wrong on it. In my own house it feels like it's "rocking" sometimes, a really
I've seen 2 psychiatrists, I've had my brain examined (even under a scanner, lol),... They only discovered that I've got AD(H)D, and that's about
it. I really don't think this is "nothing". I'm sorry if this is too messy, but it's hard to describe what I want to describe.
I wonder if it's possible that I'm still in contact with my grandfather? I also wonder if my drugexperiences might have affected this? I wonder if
you all just think I'm insane or too sensitive now...? Whatever you think, I would really like some responses. That would be nice...
Another thing that just crosses my mind but doesn't really have anything to do with this, but still, I wanna play safe. I keep on seeing 21:21. Not
22 or 44 like some others here. Don't know if anyone knows something about this?
Ow yeah, and sorry for the long text. I'll keep it shorter next times. I just had to make sure the most important stuff was inhere.