No Sex Before Marriage

Originally posted by andre18

Sex is not something that should be taken so lightly. You are literally taking a chance on creating a life every time you do it.

It’s called a condom or pill and then there’s always abortion

Abortion…..did that word just make your face turn red….

You Christians and your primitive minds….

Question – What if you never found anyone you wanted to marry – would you die a virgin?



[edit on 20-5-2008 by andre18]

Primitive Minds... lol?! The sloppy killings of innocent life, the life you created by just getting your thrill on... which is primitive? Do not be foolish. Religion is to control, even by God. Humans do not understand that which has not been taught so do not try to interpret the wishes of God. Also do not blindly follow religious leaders without educating yourself and with understanding. That said I regret not waiting because you appreciate women a lot less, you appreciate sex a lot more and you become and animal. Something primitive. You also risk losing great women in your lives that way. STD's are a risk yes. Have I found wait for marriage in the bible no.... its why I didn't wait. However I see why it is an important method to follow. All of you Primitive Thinkers out there. lol. Your too funny andre... a fool. But when are fools not funny?

Americans are very backwards. You're not supposed to have sex before marriage, but if you do, your baby is completely on its own. IT has to fend for itself, so long as the mother is "responsible" enough to birth it. Reminds me of the Illinois legislator from "The Audacity of Hope" who opposed funding for free school meals because it was a "disincentive to personal responsibility." Basically if I'm being too roundabout, society has an obligation to look after the children if it scares women into having them when they otherwise would not have. (Or in any circumstances really as little Eminems and 50 Cents are a societal problem).

Furthermore, families are f-ed up to a large degree and shouldn't be looked at as some kind of "magic saviour" for society. We got to the screwed up point we're at now WITH strong families. Strong families weren't enough to stop unnecessary wars, pollution, arms build-up, media brainwashing, and corporate interests trumping the interest of the people. Strong families often had problems anyways such as treating their first child like garbage if it was female (you'd be surprised how common this was), sexual and physical abuse.

I for one believe the no sex before marriage idea is a cultural remnant and a control mechanism. Back in the day women couldn't earn enough to support a kid on their own. So they had to be married. And married men sure didn't want to take care of someone else's bastard, nor did they want a chick with unsightly stretch-marks and varicose veins. So they enshrined in their great book statutes that prohibited sex before marriage. What a genius idea to defend their primitive urges !

They need to come up with a male birth control pill so that unwanted pregnancies are just that much rarer and thusly forced/coerced marriages are as well.

[edit on 20-5-2008 by Merle8]

Originally posted by andre18

Sex is not something that should be taken so lightly. You are literally taking a chance on creating a life every time you do it.

It’s called a condom or pill and then there’s always abortion

Abortion…..did that word just make your face turn red….

You Christians and your primitive minds….

Question – What if you never found anyone you wanted to marry – would you die a virgin?



[edit on 20-5-2008 by andre18]

Im not christian tho I was raised one, but have since disregarded the shamble. But I find your post offensive to many people.

I *DO* disagree with abortion. I don't believe in god. I think that if there is a god, who allows abortion in the first place then this god is surely a demon.

I disagree with it, the same way I disagree with killing Any helpless life on this planet, when its based on nothing more than pure arrogance and selfishness.

And arrogance and selfishness it generally is.

Now having said that, I do *NOT* oppose abortion, because I have no right to challenge anyone elses decisions on the matter. Rape, incest, there are a number of reasons to accept the decision, but that is seperate from the general rule.

I know that if I had a partner who became pregnant and opted for abortion, I would NOT accept it. I would opt to raise my child. I find it pathetic that fathers who have no say in the matter are often forced to pay child support, while mothers are given the option of just having it sucked out.



sorry for that... I feel strongly about the topic, but I've never been there so I'll hush now..


* edited to clarify things - ugh this topic makes me ill.. back to bed.

[edit on 20-5-2008 by bloodcircle]

Originally posted by 12.21.12
No sex before marriage.

Is it the word of God or a way of controlling or manipulating the general population?

I don't believe so, no. 'Rules' exist for a reason and typically for the benefit and protection of the people. Saving oneself for marriage comes with amazing benefits such as decreasing the number of illegitimate children and STD's. If we did it God's way, and that is one man and one woman for life, such things would be almost non existent or completely non existent.

This 'Biblical rule' might seem restrictive but it has a lot of wisdom behind the intentions. We can also place ourselves in the A.N.E. to see what was going on in all cultures across the board. A woman had very little value if she was not a virgin and marriage was almost certainly out of the question. This law prevented a man from using a woman and then tossing her away once he was done with her.

If you wanted a woman, you better be prepared to commit to her and support her for life. It actually gave woman immense value. Let's face it, a man would break his own neck to get a little something-something and if the only way he can get it is to through his wife then that makes a woman immensely valuable. Sadly, women are disposable sex objects today and we are letting it be that way.

A fetus is not a clump of cells! I'm 18 weeks pregnant and some of you seem, to me, to be completely detached from what you are talking about. At 10 weeks I had my first ultrasound. While I could still have legally had an abortion, I saw my 4 centimeter big baby. It was a baby! It danced and kicked and moved its little arms about. It had a head and a body and limbs and what appeared to be a poochy little belly. Don't make me scan the pictures.

For anyone who thinks that late-term abortions are wrong but first trimester abortions are perfectly fine, you need to look into what a first trimester "fetus" is.

PRIMITIVE? Primitive is thinking murder is absolutely acceptable. My Christian values, or lack thereof, have nothing to do with my decision in this matter. If someone were to kick me in the stomach and cause the loss of my baby, I would expect them to be sent to prison for a very long time. How is abortion any different?

I agree that in cases of health (baby or mother), and incest, and possibly rape, abortions should be allowed. However in the case of a mother who doesn't want the responsibility..either suck it up or put it up for adoption. That mother should not have the ability to decide whether a human will live or die.

Closer to the original topic..I'm unmarried. After the trashing of marriage by the generations before me, I don't see the point in it. It isn't permanent. It doesn't seem to stop anyone from extramarital affairs. I don't think that marriage in the USA today is what the bible had in mind.

reply to post by AshleyD


I agree with Ashley D. Women are important. I mean think about this

Man and Woman Are both Human. They both think similarly, but both quite differently. Women are the bringers of life and live for love and the positive things in life but seldomly men do (women need mans seed to flourish also). However, Men are important for kids in their growth and youth, without them they become more chaotic and are at a loss for understandings of things such as love etc. So this very complex puzzle is played out amongst men and women where it seems women are the more...valuable subjects, men bring a whole lot to the table. Most men do understand how to feel and share love but it makes them feel lesser of a man... so they would rather hide it because media and the world tells them they should.

Men are for Security, Strength, Wisdom, Control, Love.

Women are also for security, strength, wisdom, control and love.

Each sex however brings in a different perspective on each topic. They each share a different angle on security. Such that A man can physically secure their house, land, family, money-wise... etc. Where as A Woman can make a man feel secure in his love, his self, his kids, his strength, house, money and all of that. She is a reinforcer but she also is a stablilzer. It is a very complex thing to understand and I am still trying to grasp the complexitys of it myself. But if the human brain is the same for all humans then it means a man can learn these things just as well as a woman. If a man were to learn to love like a woman and be there for a woman He can bring great wisdom to the world... and vice versa. Maybe its time that the world understood that we are human, and we need each other. I am incomplete without the right woman in my life. I would like to think she is incomplete without me. *and on the topic of lesbians... normally they turn against men because of abuse and rape... other topics are because of men not being there in the womans life like they were supposed to. All of which point to neglect. SOO. That said. Sex is a very elusive Educational Experience. It is a very good topic to discuss and understand. Great Post Op.

My response is to the OP. And the question of religion and sex before marriage.

First, I'd point out that no sex before marriage came into being before birth control. I would consider that idea came about to dissuade the possibility of unwanted pregnancies.

There are no verses in the bible (that I know of) making this a Godly rule. It more or less seems to be a 'good philosophy' put in place by man with the above stated purpose.

Paul (the same guy called Apostle Paul) wrote much of what we rely on as to sexual sin.

In Hebrews 13:4 he says, "Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins."

In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 he says, "For it is God's will that you be sanctified: You must abstain from sexual immorality."

In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 he says,"Keep on running away from sexual immorality. Any other sin that a person commits is outside his body, but the person who sins sexually sins against his own body."

There is nothing in any of that claiming sex before marriage is wrong. In fact, I could take issue with his idea as to how we might sin against our own body, but that is for a different topic.

Wow. I just finished reading the entire thread and there are so many interesting views, thank you all for your insights. This is good because everybody has dealt with this personally and how often do we get to discuss things like this openly?

However I want to throw more sticks into the fire.

Personally, I have vowed to never have a wedding sponsored by the state. I believe in marriage, but I also believe that is a mutual understanding between a man and wife of the agreement made in the marriage vow itself. I would rather not have the states version for my marriage. I would rather not have that documented by the state for them to use against me somehow, later in life.

You know, the little speech the priest gives before both parties give their "I Do's"
and the documents you sign shortly afterward.


I don't think the issue of sex should be taken lightly.

I also can't imagine is that whoever came up with the "No Sex Before Marriage" idea ever imagined that it would work.

I do imagine that instead they would use it in a way that promotes state sponsored marriages.

OMG THIS IS STUPID KIDS WILL STILL HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

Hi,
I am enjoying this thread. I just wanted to say that I waited until I was married to have sex. Boy, did I get teased fo it. I was 30. I didn't want to wait so long, but in the end, it was best for me. I focused on my career and education. I was able to escape inner-city poverty after college , earn a great salary and travel the world. While working in Europe, I met my husband. I am glad that I waited for him.
We are now proud parents, but I also want to say that I had a miscarriage. I was about three months along when it happened and there was no doubt that there was life in my belly. I miscarried at a time some women elect not to go through with their pregnancy. I can't explain how much emotional pain the loss caused me. I am still coping with my loss. While I don't agree with abortion, I also understand it is a person's choice.
I am a Christian. I believe in the God of my understanding. God gives us all free will and we know right from wrong. We can debate the merits of the bible, our government institutions and each other's opinions, but we should all be clear in acknowledging that there all consequences to all of our actions. And as a Christian, I believe that whether or not there are consequences in this life, there will be some in the next.
I know that abstinence is not an option for everyone. Is it something we should teach children in school -- absolutely! Why, because consoling a young 15-year-old who is pregnant is now being replaced by counseling a 15-year-old who contracted HIV. It is a matter of life and death. Let's not be coy. Some teenagers have to be reminded to wear socks with their sneakers and to take a shower. Are we sure they will make the decision to practice safer sex with a condom? I don't think so. I know, many will not agree, but what harm is it in asking young people to at least wait until after highschool?
--a girl from the 'hood

I'm impressed that there are a few people here who have actually waited until marriage. Society would be better off if more people did. Sure condoms and such can decrease the chances of STDs and unwanted pregnancies but they're not 100% gauranteed. Also something that's supposed to be that intimate shouldn't be taken so lightly.

Just my opinion.

[edit on 20-5-2008 by MissInformation]

No sex before marriage is for the good of the child. Two parents are needed to let a child know that a man and a woman made him through their love and physical attraction for each other. This is to let the child know what are the basic ingredients to creating another. If the mother and father did not co-habitate then the child would not understand, back in the old days, that their relationship was crucial to their survival. As, in the old days, a man's physical strength was impervious to their survival, and a woman's tender touch and beauty were neccisary to attract the rugged man, and tend to the child, and to show it the difference between the roles of a man and a woman.

This makes my head hurt. Abortion? As a woman who has had to deal with a father that didnt want a baby, it didnt make me not love my child. And I never felt "stuck" with my baby. JesterMan is right. As crazy as he might sound.

This makes my head hurt. Abortion? As a woman who has had to deal with a father that didnt want a baby, it didnt make me not love my child. And I never felt "stuck" with my baby. JesterMan is right. As crazy as he might sound.

Ok so this is my view.

In the original post the OP goes on about STD's and pregnancy. Well quite simply the chances of catching an STD or causing a pregnancy are very low when using a latex barrier (condom). As proof i provide this link

www.metrokc.gov...

Condoms when used correctly (they often aren't) are without a doubt a perfect defense against STD's and pregnancy. I am not bragging or boasting but i've had a fair few sexual partners, i have not yet contracted a sexual disease or caused a pregnancy. I happen to take extra precautions, for example oral sex should not be performed unless you know that person to be disease free. In the case of it being performed on a man then again a condom will protect you.

The moral argument is lost on me sadly, as is the religious argument. I will put it this way, firstly if god truly cares about who i have sex with, then god is rather petty. I think the idea of "no sex before marriage" is born (pardon the pun) out of the old times where one session of intercourse could easily lead to a child. The times before birth control would mean you basically lost your heir, it was a bargaining chip to have an "untouched" girl.

Also how about this for a moral arguement. I think being able to please your partner is very important, knowing what goes where, how it works, why it works etc. Surely if you have multiple partners you learn many things, how to control yourself, what to do (generally speaking as each person is different) and a sense of confidence are gained. I think it's a responsible thing to have at least a few partners before you get married so you can please your current partner. Afterall this means you're taking their feelings into account and that's surely very important.

That's my view on it anyway, i will continue, whenever possible to pass myself around to any woman i find attractive and can bear to put up with me. I enjoy the act itself and is this truly a crime as long as i take very careful precautions?

In fact that's my last arguement, if i enjoy something then shouldn't i be allowed to continue it as long as i do not harm another human being? If a baby results because i am one in a very large number and the condom breaks, then yes i will pay for it. Although there are so many reports of condoms breaking i should point out it's because of misuse or lack of lubrication that this commonly occurs.

You would not buy a car without driving it first so why would a potential life long mate be any different. Take her/him for a test drive. Don't sign the paper work until you know the drive train is in good shape.

Originally posted by andre18

Here we go the great abortion debate....

So this youth gets drunk and wakes up knocked up...
There are millions of reasons why abortions are needed and that is just one of many.


[edit on 20-5-2008 by andre18]

So, are you saying that abortion is an acceptable solution to drunken, irresponsible sexual activity? That very attitude is one of society's current major malfunctions.

Marriage is a celebration of an exchange of property..women. The father gives away the bride to another man. Why are women still required to surrender their identity or birth name for that of the person she marries?
Silly, silly stuff.

As far as premarital sex and STD's you all should know that the fastest growing population of HIV victims are MARRIED WOMEN.

reply to post by AshleyD


i agree with AshleyD 100%. Women are degrading themselves to nothing but disposable sex objects. I was talking about it with a friend of mine a few months ago. It seems as if women today have absolutely no respect for themselves. It's very unattractive.

The media and drugs/money seem to be a big reason for this.

Most girls "trade" sex to have a rich boyfriend, a drug dealer boyfriend, or to make themselves feel as if they have influence/power over a guy.

There's another word for this kind of behavior. Yes, i say it's it's borderline prostitution.

On the flip side, because of this, most guys are money hungry, drug dealing, "players". HMMM I wonder why they call themselves "Pimps"?~

[edit on 5/20/2008 by JPhish]

reply to post by JPhish


Amen.

That is probably the best point made here by far.