let me put it to you like this... I recently tried drawing a picture of the one I saw fully awake. it was not easy because it has been over 30 years
but i drew him and he looks not human AT ALL....I mean other than having two arms and two legs- AT ALL!
I'm going to redraw it because After finishing and looking at it and reflecting on it some I have decided that i made him too human looking because I
am more used to drawing and looking at humans.
This dude was a grey. Had to be. I have tried telling myself all sorts of things over the course of my screw-ball life

...just trying to deal with
memories, just trying to make sense of things. Nothing else ever fit, nothing else ever made sense, nothing else eve seemed right.
Fortunately I am not as terrified at the thought as i once was.... and yes, I have been terrified of greys.... because no matter what i told myself, I
knew they were real and just thinking about it I could feel that and i know they have some trippin ass things they do, unusual skills and they seem to
be operating inside this compromised reality and i believe they are very serious about it.
It seems all the interesting stuff is highly dangerous.
what happened is I was remembering things and stumbled across some realizations.
I believe they do have emotions and this could get complex in the human world. I feel that is an unfortunate aspect that can cause a problems for them
and that perhaps some bad light that has been cast upon them has to do with things we don't understand, compromises we can't comprehend. That is when
my fear faded. I became crushed with empathy. Then it crossed my mind it was personal and the memory of the older one i saw when i was five, the
memory of the star gate i saw with 3 others when i was 19 and the two metallic clad beings that rose up from the ground and seemed to be appearing
before me via electricity when I was 22 all of the sudden became eerily important.
... and I have no idea what it means but to have negative thoughts about them feel like I would be stabbing someone i know. it's weird... and if i
find out they are evil, I'm going to be so #ing pissed off.
Countless times I have lost hope in humans and if it turns out that a people that have found us- from outside of our world wants to kill us all... I
mean seriously kill us all, not just saying that because they are pissed off or have gone mad, especially in this #ed up world.
I'd be like "# this... we live with douches here and now we have to put up with even bigger douches coming in from the #ing sky...# this, I'm
done.

"
I want to find out. I want to know who they are dammit. I want to see if any of them look like the one in my dream or the one in the suit although
maybe he is gone. I don't like thinking about that. They give me a pretty distinct impression... a personality. Very distinctive character. It's going
to drive me mad.
edit on 17-1-2011 by ChaosMagician because: (no reason given)