Ok, so I'm on the way to the airport last week for a girl's trip to Vegas, and on the way, feeling pretty good about the pedicure I gave myself the
night before, thought I needed some peppermint foot lotion on, so I lather up my feet...hmmm feels good, I'm set.
I get there, check in, go out for one last smoke, being absolutely sure to discard all of my lighters before going through security. Last time I went,
I forgot one and had to have my carry-on searched. No biggy, I'm in control this time.
Ok, there's the security guy, here's my driver's license, yep, that's me. And then..."Mam" (so polite) "your license is expired...a year ago."
What? How the hell, I just renewed it in 06, and it expired in 07. I'm not that old, I thought they were good for four years. "Do you have other
id?" No, I said, credit cards, pictures won't be on there for a few years still, oh wait, here's pictures of my kids and everyone says they look
just like me. Well, they saw no humor in that! Ok, no problem, I'm nice, he's nice, I just have to go through special security. Ok.
So I go through the blow thingy, oooh...got patted down, hmmm. Then off to apparently have each and every carry-on item swabbed for whatever. Then I
got the look, what now? "Mam, we have a hit on your shoes". So, I in all my wisdom respond, "A hit of what?" She runs it again, and again, and
finally says, "Did you use lotion on your feet this morning?". "Well" I siad, "as a matter of fact I did....peppermint.". She rolled her eyes
and gave me the biggest "not f-ing again" look.
So, finally I get to go, my friends are all laughing at me and I tell the lady that I was just so concerned about the lighters, that I was so worried
that I wouldn't discard them all and she said, "Oh, you can bring those on now.".
So, for future reference, check your license, bring your lighter, but don't smoke, and by all means....no pepermint foot lotion.
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