posted on May, 14 2008 @ 11:58 AM
You fools . . . you FOOLS! Can't you see?
George W. Bush is a reptilian humanoid (true rumor: Oliver Stone was going to re-use some of the digital dinosaurs from the as-yet unreleased, and
un-made, for that matter, "Jurassic park IV: Bikini Beach Brachylophosaurus" starring Lorenzo Lamas, Christy Canyon, and "Triumph the Insult Dog"
as "Mr. Codish").
Well, DUH, right, about Bush? But what you don't yet know (but you will after you read this posting AND buy my book, coming this summer from
Parasitosis Publishing, titled, "Buy and Read My Book to Know All About the True Rumors!") is waging his war in Iraq because he wants to not only
reclaim, but to also clear away all of the "local riff-raff" (lizard-boy slang for humans, don't'cha know) from the place because that's where
his real family first landed on Earth from Planet X and he wants to hold a family reunion (12/20/2012? BYOB? Hope my invitation isn't lost in the
mail . . . or the coming Apocalypse).
The Strategic Petroleum Reserves -- SPR, for you readers of Slate.com -- aspect AND Bush's endless calls for expanded drilling for oil is to make
sure there's for these hungry alien master lizard dudes TO EAT. Oh, sure, yeah, they like to snack on the occasional kitten, goat, or B-List
Central- or South-American investigative reporter, but OBVIOUSLY interstellar lizard-ians drink oil -- sweet crude, they dig special, when they can
get it (true rumor #2: the high-sulphur stuff gives 'em gas). Yeah, there's already a lot of the crude in the general neighborhood of the proposed
the picnic grounds, but, dang it, these Lounging Lizard Lads and Lasses are gonna be HUNGRY after their long journey, right?
So, to summarize:
Bush = lizard guy
Iraq = Interplanetary Cracker Barrel
SPR = "The entire right side of the menu (including the Maryland Fried Chicken Dinner)!"
Now that you see all this, doesn't EVERYTHING NOW MAKE SENSE???
Yeah, it does to me, too . . .