posted on May, 12 2008 @ 09:02 PM
I dreamt of her again last night. It had been months since the last dream I had of her. Like the last one, she came to me out of the blue, when my
mind had began to let her drift into memory. Her presence strong, earthy and powerful, deep into the dreamworld she pulled me, far far away from my
home, my bed, my sleeping companion. She enveloped me with her warmth as I fell deeper and deeper into her soul. When my mind's eye was finally
still from our descent, she guided me gently to her feet.
"Look at me daughter" she whispered in her sweet dull voice.
I opened my eyes and the tears began flow. My mother, my beautiful mother was wearing a tattered green gown, large patches of brown and black muck
had soiled the indescribable fabric. Her hair once lustrous and healthy clung to her scalp and hung limply. Her skin, her beautiful brown skin, once
so richly brown was parched and dry. Her veins weakly protruded from boney arms, pulsing slowly. Tears ran from her eyes and she shivered first
gently then a little more violently as we cried together.
"Mother, I'm so sorry" I whimpered as sobs rattled my chest. The vision of her with my eyes closed as I felt her power bring me here, to the
vision of frail being that now stood before me were immensely disturbing.
"How could I have known, mother? Why didn't you tell me sooner" I cried.
"My daughter you had to have known. How could you not see the horrors that your brothers have committed against me? You are not blind, you have
always known" she admonished me.
"But mother, what could have I have done" I sobbed guiltily, hot tears of shame scalding my face as I watched lesions open on her tender skin while
she struggled to quickly heal them. "They are men, they are powerful, they are many. I live in their world mother"
A powerful shiver shook her entire body and I cringed in fear. I didn't want to anger her, but obviously my weak laments were not the words she
wanted to hear.
"LOOK AT ME" she bellowed.
I forced my eyes opened and looked at the horror that was my mother. I saw her pain. I saw her blood, her organs, her life force being sucked away
by my brothers above. I saw their insatiable greed as they fed on her, oblivious to her cries. I cried and cried and cried, mumbling apologies on
their behalf and for my own crimes against her. I felt naked, small and ashamed. How could I have done this to my own mother. The one being who had
always provided for me. Fed me, clothed, sheltered and nurtured me and I.. I in turn had turn a blind eye to her. How could I go on, how could I
live with myself.
Mother must have felt my guilt, my pain and my sorrow, for she then laid a hand on my head and soothed my hair.
"My sisters feel my pain, they have sent their children to help me heal. Your father feels my pain, he is sending help but by then it may be too late
for me and for you too."
"No mother!!!" I cried. Blocking out the words of an end from my ears. "It cannot happen, I will not let it happen, I will fight them" I
"Shhh child and listen. When your brothers and sisters began to feed off of me, I had no idea there would be no end to their greed. I thought that
if I had given them enough, they would be content. But instead they continue to take and take and take. They have taken all I have to give and yet
they want more. There was a time long ago when they use to leave me flowers, food, money and say my praises as they took what they needed and I
didn't mind. I was happy, but as the years passed, they stopped bringing me gifts and sustenance and now they take without giving me anything back.
I'm sorry child but being as weak as I am now forced to take what I need."
She shivered again, and I watched as her skin convulsed gently, up above I am sure my brothers didn't even notice her tremble. Breathing deeply she
continued. "My sisters' children have been helping me survive, but they can only do so much. They come in secrecy because they fear you my
children, they cannot understand how and why so many of your brothers and sisters are blind and deaf to my pleas. They abide with you at my request,
but they hate you for what you have done to me"
"I don't blame them mother" I interjected, unable to control my anger and shame, "They should kill us all, we are nothing more than an infestation
She smiled and the sight of her smile filled me with love and wonder. She was still quite beautiful under all the scars. As she smiled, I noticed
the lesions on her skin seem to close faster and her blood flowed quicker, but as sudden was the appearance of her smile, so quickly did it vanish and
I was once again filled with shame and guilt. How could we have done that to her.
"They said the same thing, an infestation, but you are not my child. You are my children, you are my burden and I would gladly carry all of you for
a millenium, I only ask and wish that you show me the respect and love that I show you. I need to be supplemented for what is taken from me and if
you my children do not offer it willingly, I have to take what I can from you forcefully. Go tell your brothers and sisters, what I have said. I
know many will not listen, but you do have brothers and sisters who have visited me here too and have seen me as you have seen me and together perhaps
you can open the eyes and hearts of the others"
"But Mother, it will do no good. It's too late. We are too few and they are too many. We cannot change anything now. Times are very different
Mother, even if you were to talk to each one individually, many will still ignore you, they don't care. They don't care about each other, how will
they ever learn to care for you" I cried, overwhelmed with the task I suddenly felt burdened with.
"But child don't you see the difference just one person makes? Look me at me again"
I looked again at my mother, she did seem a little brighter, a little healthier, but could it really be?
"By not denying me and acknowledging my plight and sharing my burden, you have lessen my load. I am far from cured, but if each of my children could
see and understand what you have seen and now understand and were willing to give to me as I give to them, as share my pain as I share theirs, I will
flourish once more"
Mother raised me into her arms and as I looked in her eyes I saw the suffering of my brothers as she trembled and shivered. I saw them fall, I saw
them cry, I saw them beg for mercy but not one begged for forgiveness, not one offered to change as they got up back on their feets, not one of them
"This will be very difficult Mother" I said feebly realizing how small and insignificant I really was.
"I know my child" she said softly tears dripping from her face onto mine.
I awoke drenched in sweats and tears. It was just a dream. I had only spoke to my mother a few hours earlier. She was healthy and well, in a few
hours we would be going shopping. I turned my wet pillow over and went back to sleep. Brothers and sisters, I laughed to myself as I drifted back
into slumber....I'm an only child.
[edit on 5-12-2008 by worldwatcher]