posted on May, 13 2008 @ 08:02 AM
Heh. I'm not trying to "jump on the bandwagon" , im really not, and i normally dont speak on this subject much, because theres zero scientific
evidence of it, and one gets scoffed at by the "scientific community" for that reason, being dubbed a new ager and cookoo crazy and so forth.
But, and I can't tell if it is just me growing up aka experiencing life at every stage, I am 25 now, so maybe it is just me learning more
experiences, lessons, and knowledge, and this makes me feel like i am changing into something more divine, internal, esoteric, whatever, when in
reality, i am just living like everyone else. This is what I tell myself to debunk the theory that I am not uniquely different or changing in that
But let me tell you, deep down inside, I do think it is a little too weird to just be growing old, living life, etc. As soon as I went from a
politically driven Deist-Agnostic to someone who could not refute the existence of a creator, or God, it's like the doors were opened up for me. I
started learning so many weird things.. new things.. I've been reading random history and religious materials for the past 4 years, FOR FUN. 5 years
ago I was a dancing fool who'd goto a dance club almost every night. But dancing is just one gift, and I dont mean ballroom or grinding, I mean ..
breakdancing, pop n lock, liquid, waving, rave dance, street dance ... all that really coool, hard complicated looking stuff. You know when your body
looks like there isnt a single bone in it? That kinda dancing. I turn into water.
Anyways. So in my head Ive had this thought that this just cant all be the way things are, that there isnt a growth BEYOND normal human growth
happening. My immediate thought? To observe all those around me. But in person, not too many people I know are showing signs of obvious change.
Perhaps theyre scared to admit it realize it, but even those I do notice some small subtle change.. caring more about whats important, being nicer
when it comes to helping people, not doing stupid things, this kind of thing. again which could be attributed to maturity i guess, i dont know. im in
denial essentially. I know its' real because in the past 5 years I have literally become a totally different human being. I even look different, but
more important my ideals are wayyy different, I am positive usually, I am thirsty for truth and knowledge .. and for the past, the true past, our
past, and our future. And i've become incredibly, utterly paranoid that before I turn 30, there will be social chaos in the streets of America, the
streets I live on. Chaos can mean hostile government takeover, it can mean government breakdown of control, it could mean a riot or rebellion, it
could mean a nuclear war, it could mean anything. It could mean a plethora of natural disasters that get worse and worse until the end of 2012 and it
become a daily occurrence for a 8.0+ earthquake or tsunami.
Ultimately, i feel like my spirit has been imbued into this body in this timeframe for a reason and purpose. Something that is so significant to the
race of mankind, the planet of Earth, and the creation of God is going to happen while i am here. I am supposed to be a part of it. I am
supposed to guide those in a certain direction, to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves, and to witness the end .. OR ascension ..
whichever it may be.
Lastnight, seemingly no where, I felt a sensation I had never experienced in my life. It was like almost 3am, I am kinda tired. Im on the computer,
about to goto sleep. You know how when altitude changes, you get stuffy ears due to the pressure change? And you swallow in your throat to clear them?
Well this was kinda like that, except more severe. I live in no kind of altitute at all. Everything was fine, this never has happened before. All of a
sudden, I felt pressure in both ears, like in my entire skull, and it felt like my hearing was becoming less and less by the second due to the
pressure and my eardrums were gonna pop or I was going to start bleeding out of my nose or something! It felt so strange! It freaked me out, I stood
up, braced my self, tried to calm down with deep controlled breathing, and was fine. Nothing even triggered it .. it was really scary. All I know is,
something happened involving cranial pressure, I live directly behind an airport, not that this should have anything to do with it.
Oh yes, I've also developed a "third eye". It's inside my right eye, which is my predominant eye. It is just like a clear floater, the kind you
see when you stare into the blue sky, as if there are little particles sparking in your eyes, well its like that except darker, one of them, a darker
brown. its small, it doesnt hurt, its clearly a floater because it is connected to see-through portions of itself, and it seems to follow whatever
line of text I read, like a typewriter going to the next line or page, sliding back over to the left. It's probably just a .. health issue, but its
been like this with no changes whatsoever for 7 or 8 months. I know .. youre probably thinking I should go to the hospital, that im not gaining
powers, just gaining diseases and dying. lol. Well i feel fine so I disagree.