now i tell you guys the real story enough with jokes...

earlier i said to someone here ' Buddy thanks for compliments '

and below is the response i got to this

' I am a woman in 30s and married '


had i known that that user is female i would have thanked her this way

' Thank you very much Ma'm

Now that's why i think a web2.0 styled icon of male/female/not telling (anonymous) is required here..

Yeah I have to agree, but then if I had my way Id half turn ATS into a dating site on the side and make it more user profile friendly as I suggested in the appropriate tips for future forum.. [where this thread should maybe have went? ] instead of us all in the dark and in hiding like we shouldn't really be here discussing all this stuff

[edit to add im male by the way. lol ]

[edit on 05/09/2008 by P-a-r-a-d-o-X-2]

Male

You see - its wrong to make assumptions about avatars, for all the reasons I listed in my post above

reply to post by neformore

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Thanks God i just short stopped of calling you a girl ... that's why we need to have gender icon the case is made

reply to post by LOYAL

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Just relax.

If you are interested in a member's gender just ask.

If they do not want you to to know they will either tell you so or lie.

My SN gets mistakenly assumed female frequently. It is in fact my North Creek Clan Cherokee name I have had for almost 40 years now. I have now become so old and crotchety it only matters to some one equally as old and crotchety.

There are some members that I have known personally for many years and a few I consider my fairly new friends. If we ever meet in person I hope to be just as dazzled by their brilliance regardless of their possession of a Y chromosome.

never mind

[edit on 12-5-2008 by greeneyedleo]

reply to post by LOYAL

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I agree. I never know if I'm going to address someone as sir or ma'am and get a negative response.

I have definitely said "man" and "sir" to women before on here. Didn't work out too well.

reply to post by greeneyedleo

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Though I do have enough common sense to figure out that were you probably a woman.

I still might have said "man", but I say that to everyone. I'm sure I've said, "Hey what's up guys", to a group of chicks before.

[edit on 12-5-2008 by Sublime620]

reply to post by Sublime620

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LOL It really does NOT offend me I have a sense of humour and can laugh about anything LOL

Or, conversely, you could apply the following worthwhile thought process;

"Assumption is the mother of all cock-ups".

Theres no need for gender identification icons. In polite society people should always ask. What you are asking for is a short cut to give you an easy heads up onto who is female - so the question in our equal ops conspiracy society is this - why would you need that at all?

reply to post by neformore

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i just gave you an example that i called a woman 'Buddy' or ' Man ' and it was very embarrassing to me , when she told me that she is woman not a man, and also if i know the user is female i might phrase my post in a more appropriate way to avoid embarrassment

it has nothing to do with the function of this forum it would help you better understand and respond others and avoid embarrassing situation in my opinion ---



[edit on 12-5-2008 by LOYAL]

Why would you phrase something differently to a woman?

Its the opinion that matters, not the gender.

Of course, one can also avoid having a person in their avatar, as such avoiding the issue of confusing genders due to the avatars.

I just assume everyone's a male; if its a female I will just think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability. oh wait

i think its ok and then a relationship icon too so I can have mine 'complicated'
actually i keep replying to posters as dudes or man and its kind of silly when it ends up being not a man.

You still wont know their real gender because people are known to lie. If you want to become attracted to people of the other gender then go to adult friend finder. This is not a porno web site so get your head out of the gutter and focus on the real problems.

reply to post by whitesatan

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it was merely a joke .. i have clarified very clearly why do i think the forum need to have a gender icon,

ROTFLMAO!!!! Dude. Welcome to "the internets," where the safe assumption is ALWAYS that every "16 year old female" you meet online is in reality a dirty old man.

I think having a "gender icon" would be a double-edged sword. There are many times when I thought I was talking back and forth with a man only to find out it was a woman, and vice versa, because I see people as a combination of their avatars and namesake, which often elicits some really amusing pictures in my head. On the one-hand, a gender declaration would clear up a lot of confusion as for what gender someone chooses to publicly identify with, but that doesn't really mean much, does it?

There are people who are born as men who identify themselves as women trapped in a man's body. There are "dirty old men" posing as girls for nefarious chatting purposes. There are men who use a female personae for the purposes of breaking into a traditionally female-dominated market. There are even men who pose as women just for the sake of just one more step in trying to obscure their real identity, or to see how people treat them differently. Now reverse the genders of all that, and you have the same exact possibilities for women posing to be men. Then you've got people who identify with both genders (metros), and people who identify with neither gender.

Now throw sexual preference into the lot, and then the stated preference of the stated gender, versus the actual preference of the actual gender (ie. a straight male pretending to be a female lesbian online) what you've basically got is the growing realization that in the online world, gender and preference mean very little, short of a site specifically tailored towards dating. Don't get me wrong, internet dating services are great for people who want to try and hook up outside of the meat-world, but in a discussion forum like ATS, having a declaration of gender seems meaningless in the broad scheme of things. You're probably better off just asking someone via U2U, or in-thread when appropriate, and using a dating site if looking for love online.

reply to post by neformore

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I learned that lesson long ago as you well know. My own mind tricked me into it as it was during the time when admin and some mods started posting their pics. Soon others started adding to the rash of self pic avatars. I could have sworn.....However, excuses aside.....

By the way, my belated apologies!

Well come on guys, people don't HAVE to show their gender, just like the other forums, they have gender choice, but yet you can choose if you want to display your gender or not. So it would be great to have a choice to do or not.


But I do see the worries in the showing gender, I'm sure you will get a bunch of guys thinking, "wow, dude, she's a woman, wow a real woman........ooooooo baby!" "Hey got any pics? What you wearing right now sweetie, mmmm"

Don't worry I wont do that haha.

I'm male by the way

[edit on 13-5-2008 by _Phoenix_]

Though helpful, it could cause some problems. I think maybe a button to show/hide the genders which is always hidden until people choose to show would help, then we wouldnt have people noticing gender just for gender.(unless inclined to do so and have proper actions taken)


What gender am I Loyal?

reply to post by LOYAL

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Imho it's done the way it is because some of our female members might get harrased lol , besides we wanna keep our threads focused on the topic.
also most members here will tell you if you ask them .
What I WOULD like to see is a way to change your screen name after a certain amount of points.


My 2 cents




[edit on 13-5-2008 by miguelbmx]