It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Prisoner Of War????

page: 1
0

log in

join
share:

posted on May, 5 2008 @ 07:44 PM
link   
When I was 17 I had numerous girl problems and lost touch with freinds for over 2 years. I had complete amnesia at first from when I was 13 had a stroke and 3 brain hemmorrages internal bleeding and sleeplessness and social infantcy and comprehension dysfunction. Sort of nomadic background 10 places by 7, stayed with grandparents on both sides, homeless for awhile, motels, hotels, stayed in someones basement with mom and sister for about 3 1/2 years and that was longest ever in one place.

At 12th grade graduation I used to believe I was the victum of a columbine copycat act, not a crime because nothing happened. I was stereotypically profiled and gang mentality decided I was going to go on a killing spree.

I was home when 911 happened I saw the second tower being hit and both of them falling and the pentagon being hit by suicidal murderous kamikazes, terrorists not unlike columbine. I suspected something for awhile, in 13th grade in wilson tech the teacher told me "the cops never talked to you" and I said "no I was framed". Then I asked someone at the high school what happened I said "these kids told me they were going to jump me, didnt show and I walked up to grad. looking for them. On field not in gym and I was already sweating walked there and 2 hour ceremony in sun so I went home.

I didnt tell her since 9th grade I was called re***t, ho**, fa***t, girl, and hermaphrodite and other less vulgar stuff and I was chosen as fall guy for friends?? The alleged homosexullity card and the Androginy card wasnt played enough I want to see you try to back that up and fail miserably when you have to talk to me face to face and I am not going to let you back down until someone stops me. Put on probation 1/2 through 10th grade.

I also didnt tell her I was a virgin and never touched a girl and was going out of mind not being able to properly function socially and furious. She told me "no grad. wasnt cancelled repeatedly and I should go see a mental health individual, extremely nervously". So I dropped out and over summer had a central nervous breakdown, using too much drugs thought house was turned into Truman Show of a police sting and someone got trampled, after not going to my own grad. out of guilt and disbelief. When the cops brought me to the psych ward in handcuffs they joked around about wishing they could of killed me or shot me. When I got dropped off "I shouldnt touch everything in my head at the same time".

So in the next 4 months I went to 3 institutions for not going to program or taking full dose I was ordered, so I was brought to court and forced to take monthly injections and be put on A.ssisted O.utpatint T.reatment which essentially means go to Day Facility 10 hours a day (5 for therapy, 1 1/2 bus ride there and back 1/2 lunch and cigarette breaks) for 5 days a week for 6 months then 4 days for remaining 9 to 10 months and if I missed too many days a case worker would call the police to go to hospital.

Then I went to another facility then therapy in group one on ones and piss tests. Now 2005 I went to 1st year of college for a few months and dropped out because arguments with parents that I should go to hospital. Saw blue book "king of Torts" and a red book "Red Rabbit" Tom Clancy' s espionagespy nazi thriller. After worked with dad put on meds sleep 12 hours a day lose 24 hours a week. Later in 2006 I ripped up my health insurance renewal for Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield and 3 or 4 days later I eventually get out of house after arguing going through 3 different streets where practicully every house has a brand new car straight out of the dealership some washing theirs.

Get to the pizza place get 2 slices and this football player from my grade (told he raped girl at party) says "we would tell you because your our freind" as I walk back 3 people look like they are going to jump me maybe saw too much. Next week go to supermarket next town this guy working their says "you only got $10,000 (laughing) looking right at me. The only time I got $10,000 was when the gov. owed me 3 years disability. This time I was drinking I was following sounds and similiar looking cars got ticket sold to me even though 4 or 5 in the morning and had no reason to travel 100 miles into the city.

Had ticket for some reason ticket gut took $8.50 for some reason so I didnt have any money left so I was probably lured into getting arrested hospitalized or murdered. I got back had debit card next week at train station hear priest say "do you think were going to let him get all the money". Later brought to the hospital against my will for a 5th time and stayed for 6 weeks. I had homophobia problems and kept to self, because I felt some guys were coming on to me. First night got there told to take meds and slip pants around hips when I go to sleep and saw 3 guys and 2 girls taking various showers and conspiring amongst each other all 5, so I didnt take my meds that night.

As time went by lot of code spoken ( symbolism, metaphors, passive aggressive, ect.) in group around me sort of aimed towards me, I assumed, on a locked floor. I saw people watching 50 first dates with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore and someone says "Who did we all come here to see" so I wore 2 pairs of pants did push ups in room and careful about taking showers.Ecspecially when I overheard someone say outside my room I was going to the ER tonight (guy showed up Jan 1st when insurance ran out and hetero) it was implied I would be forcibly raped. Week before I heard someone say "you would be surprised what (name) would do for $250,000" and I got the impression they thought I was a prostitute or I was a prostitute, that I was bi or homo.

This girl in my group outside the hospital said my psychiatrist stole $500,000 from her but she could still get the half of the original figure $500,000 and flirted with me. After I tried to get a letter resended to get out in 3 days that if they objected they could legally bring me to court. She gave me the run around 3 times, no I need the original not the photocopy, no I need to sign the original, no I need to sign somewhere else so its not still legally binding while she was put the phone on hold ordering a new dell computer.

Someone behind me asked her if her name was the first name of tony sopranos wife. This other guy stook his hands down his pants while I was punching the punching bag so I left. Guy who showed up on the 1st was on the phone and after hung up put an earpiece in his ear and he was 20 something and it wasnt visible looking at him. A week or 10 days into Jan. every day guys in suits would go to the nursing station. And one day after group I went to room and saw a guy in suit a nurse 2 maintenance guys going through room drawings and clothes I was told to go to the end of the hall so I did then came back and heard "we cant keep him here were not prepared for this the CDC called (Center for Disease Control)" and she said "you have to leave" I said "you just said CDC" she said "No I didnt" I said "Is this guy FBI" the guy in suit said "I am leaving".

They were supposed to be checking bathroom fixtures and the 3 remaining people and did every other room on the floor really quickly then left. Left psych ward to go to out patient hospital, by the end I was on 6 different meds and one biweekly injection for 5 hours of therapy a day. The first day I signed about 10 different papers to get admitted on medicaid, a few days later I noticed a lot of shiny seemingly brand new cars, 1 a yellow and black hummer I thought at the time their vanity plates were numerical code and abbreviations that were derogatory towards me.

As the days went on 4 or 5 weeks one time this girl said I just threw away 50,000 and left with her parents halfway through the following third day she was there she said this on the first. One
of the therapists said something about a sum of money or some monetary reward or those cars was a one time thing not a daily benefit, also something about medicaid fraud. I think this guy from the hospital I was in wanted me to go down on him for a wedding ring for his girlfreind and implied that a $1000 a day from the hospital was already gone. Over the time I was here I heard him say on the phone something about 4 more years of life insurance and in group said something about someone needing a new liver( I interpretted this as code).

One day I brought my ipod and this girl who worked there walking by said something about being online. Next day the guy asked if you are on myspace they called me meryl online, I didnt know what this meant I remember yesterday him asking me if I wanted a cigar ette, no and he said thats right you dont smoke. This girl was saying something about needing housing and the bus driver who picked her up said you live in Brentwood now, she said later about moving to the city.

Later I found out social security turned her down and she lived in another town. Last day I was there told I was going to be discharged and my empire insurance expired on that day called my psychiatrist and asked if she accepted medicaid or if I needed to be transferred somewhere else. Eventually I was put on a single powerful med that knocked me flat out for awhile, it usually takes 6 to 8 weeks for meds to be therapeutic and it took me time to adapt.

Earlier this year 7 months shy of 6 years I feel like I have gotten to the point where clarity and awareness and a higher level of rationale have been acheived, almost like what sobriety used to feel like. With most of these meds the words that come to mind are stupor, all f***ed up, haze , slower , lethargic, catatonic or partially crippling (mentally). I have my word about some things and others circumstantal evidence because I am in the system my credability has been tarnished. I used to weigh my options as who to believe and trust when this first started what made more sense, my mind being ill or a massive conspiracy fought on several fronts.

I just thought whatever all this means whatever the true answers are, theorists would love to imagine and delve into the possibilities and maybe truth of this, any feedback would be welcome and appreciated. Kinda like part "Carrie" or "Heathers" then part "Truman Show" or "Poltergeist" then part "Beautiful Mind" and an "Alice in Wonderland" foreshadowing or perspective, just an intriguing concept that sometimes would blow my mind when I was forced to take drugs.

I used to think that I was given or judgement received was that of an evolution of a Columbiner not wanting to make the ultimate sacrifice. What they wanted and trial by public opinion or comprehension of the facts or some if I was this person. And everybody denied it so who do I tell my side of the version of the past to? Two months shy of going into the 8th year of this at grad. and 3 months shy of going into 7th year of my life sentence or lifetime with doctors trying to fix my brains illness. After all this I still want or deserve the oppurtunity to live the rest of my life, and have liberty and the pursuit of happiness and not be executed, hospitalized, or have any of this shadowing me around for the rest of my life or anybody connected to me based on lies and misinterpretation if this is real.

I used to listen to Korn Untouchables "Here to Stay" - I am here to stay, here to stay, gonna bring it down, gonna bring it down or "Thoughtless" (strange video). Also Bionic Jive "I Shot Lucifer" (one of the most intense songs I have ever heard ecspecially if when this first started I was ever given a chance to plead my case if anyone that would listen or humor me of cryptic subliminals or this being a possibility)- a governmental conspiracy to murder me, I shot lucifer, I shot lucifer, Eminem "Soldier"- dont even try to be like me youll look stupid do not pursue it later who put a curse on authorities in the face of adversity. Or Incubus song "Meglomaniac" that song was after an album where this blonde girl in gray sweatshirt screamed 3 times when the clock hit 10:24 ( the date of stroke for me was 1/24 Jan. internal bleeding in 3 places of the brain) and later on album song "even guys go on the rag sometimes" . Maybe they could do a collaboration with Alice in Chains or a remix of some of their old material.

Maybe even terrorize "make a wish" kids or other severely f***ed up traumatic injury recovers. I didnt grasp how this could be possible, if a supposed copycat thing happened in current events and they tried to cover it up and I was too ignorant and messed up to realize and over the years couldnt let go of this doubt even if at times it was barely there. I had this unrealistic guilt because of these sort of infamies I felt were attached to me like O.J or McVey or worse AntiChrist, but thats just what I internalize or how I project how people see me, ( I cant have anything to do with the weather, tsunami or katrina, because God or humanity hates me, you know you cant just decide someone you dont know is Satan spawn ).

Its is just I have never really proven beyond a reasonable doubt either way and I sort of spent years and a lot of time to get to the bottom of this. And doubt can be like a cancer eating away at you not unlike regret, ignorance or mental illness. Havent had a job on the books since 15, never had a license or drove a car in 6 or 7 years but I plan on getting my life back and sure as hell didnt want to be playing sherades with the man/government if any of this is legit. Last year town and street upped anti of persecution or psychological warfare.

Broken into backyard 3 times damaging property all 3 the house once while I was upstairs (thought it was sister asked later she said no) I dont think anything was missing, threats of physical violence and heard 2 different people say they wanted to or were going to slit my throat from house. Also this girl I knew in high school that I was attracted to in 12th grade in tech who lived in another town know is dating and living next door with neighbor (apparently they werent done feeding off me or trying to make me snap) and 2 girls I used to know in town talked into consentual sex or raped, and 2 girls outside town were targeted in my honor by nazi ghestoppo propaganda or politics based on lies. Get into numerous arguments with parents if I call police I go to group home, stopped at every turn. My aunt came over last summer talked about feeling like she was in "Shindlers List" and later on my mom said its nice that terminally ill people can see their families.

About 14 months ago these migraines showed up and chronic progressively worse almost crippling at times. Got CATscan and bloodwork done talked to neuro consolt getting MRI and EEG done in future. I cant get a job or go to school like this and I cant take this anymore no way out. I thought a lot of Columbine what would drive those kids to that point, even thought of writing a book about overcoming adversity or memwares to help people in my generation or younger. Be a positive influence in peoples lives for a change.

I never wanted any of this detour from living and sure as hell not getting any financial reinbursement if the entire town (guilty party responsible), doctors , hospitals, patients and government are which should be impossible. If it is this is me fighting back, not going to take this anymore, because you think I am a vegetable or evil and that justifies inhumane abuses of freedoms, decentcy or morality. If it is not then a long talk with a team of doctors but I finally learned the language ( as strange as it may seem reading this letter after comic books and video games and literature, spoken word with family everyday and friends occasionally, and philoposhizing common sense after amnesia and generation leaving me behind, and information dont teach you people relations sort of an evolution of life experiances, street smarts and culture)and I am will await my day in court if they ever grant one and finally get physical tangible proof , not assumptions or speculation or impossiblities.

Whats it going to be this time, grandiose paranoia or delusions or delerius, or seeing patterns where they dont exist. Well I have been decrypting puzzles for 11 years (amnesia) and I could be off on some things all I ask is for the truth, the truth is out there.

Have you ever had a dream (Neo) that you
were so sure was real, what if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference from the dream world and the real world? This cant be ... Be what be real? Unfortanetly no one can be told what it is the matrix you have to see it for yourself . The matrix is everywhere it is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. What truth? That you (Neo) are a slave ... in bondage. I am here because I am not free. I have to get out. This is the world you know the world at the end of the 20th century it exists now as only a simulation that we call the matrix.

Youve been living in a dream world (Neo) this is the world as it exists today. Welcome to the desert of the real. We have only bits and pieces of information but what we do know for certain is ...? Fate it seems is not without a sense of irony. I didnt say it would be easy just the truth. The human body generates ... all the energy they will ever need. For the longest time I wouldnt believe it , obliviousness of the truth. What is the Matrix ? Control the matrix is ...generated dream world to keep us under control in order to change a human being into this. ( Holds up a battery which is a valuable commodity, energy source pure potential even necessity sometimes not so unlike money).

I didnt say it would be easy only the truth. Welcome to the real world. Am I dead? Far from it. Why do my eyes hurt. Youve never used them before. No one has ever tried anything like this before. I know thats why it is going to work. I know youre out there. I can feel you now. Know that youre afraid, youre afraid of us, youre afraid of change. I dont know the future I didnt come here to tell you how this is going to end I came here to tell you how its going to begin.

I am going to hang up this phone and then I am going to show these people what you dont want them to see. I am going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls without borders or boundaries, a world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave up to you.-----???

[edit on 5-5-2008 by elevatedone]




posted on May, 5 2008 @ 08:05 PM
link   

Originally posted by P. O. W.
When I was 17


How old are you now?

What medication are you on?

What is your current day to day routine like?

Some of what you are writing about sounds familiar, so I am inclined to think that you are telling the truth....



posted on May, 5 2008 @ 09:46 PM
link   
I am now 24 years old. I am on Fazaclo and Vistril now, with mental illness it is diagnosed with how you describe it and you behavior. I couldnt make sense of what I felt like and always felt like I was backtracking talking my way out of things. My day to day routine is helping my mom with yard work, helping my dad with home repairs on our house right now, dont watch too much TV some, radio and video games a lot sometimes, chores around house (feed animals, take out trash , mow lawn , help with dinner set the table, etc.) , dvds and drawing few times. I leave house when I got to go to the doctors, bank, supermarket or other places with parents, and to walk a 1/8 of a mile to get cigarettes ( I have been trying to quit). It has been like that for years I guess, sort of house arrest or withdrawn like hermit or convict, sorry I just didnt think of it or put it in perspective. I dont usually communicate on the internet.



posted on May, 6 2008 @ 12:03 AM
link   

Originally posted by P. O. W.
sorry I just didnt think of it or put it in perspective. I dont usually communicate on the internet.


Don't worry about being sorry...one asks questions to further a understanding. I will respond in more detail tomorrow, after I have spent some time reviewing some aspects of your post and reflecting upon it.

Suffice to say...your experience does not sound too different than a period of my own experience...save for specific details and the fact that the only medication I was prescribed (respirdal) I rejected and refused to take after the second day.

That is not to say that it would be recommended at this time to reject your prescriptions...routine is a positive effort right now. Good Luck and I'll post again tomorrow.



posted on May, 6 2008 @ 04:51 AM
link   
It took me 4 years to remove my hunger for vengeance for a wrong I recieved. It was eating away at me. After I came to the realization that these negative thoughts were, during this time, having a negative effect on me, I slowly, with meditation and insight from a BlackFoot Indian Chief who I now consider my Mentor, replaced these feelings with love, and a thirst for freedom. I was about over it and feeling that life once again was meaningful.
Then, out of the blue I got a phone call that brought down a wall I had built as a subconscious defense mechanism 30 years prior. I now have memories flooding in of things that I had held prisoner subconsciously for what seems a lifetime. As if yesterday, the flashes of past hit me vividly and I have been dealing with this for some time now, yet now stronger, I am not beaten by these demons.
I guess your story and the amnesia you suffer(ed)? caused immediately recall of the phone call that tore down my wall of past.
If I understand your tribulations and dilemma, when at a crossroad in life, the path of righteousness can be harder to choose. But, it seems through your story that you are determined to take your experiences and use them, as unjust as they may be, as a powerful tool, that by you overcoming, (the hardest part), now is yours to help others. (easy in comparison) and I wish you safe journey as you embark towards your goals.



posted on May, 6 2008 @ 07:47 PM
link   
Thank you both for your feedback, and 150+ that looked at page I feel like a weight has been lifted for my shoulders. For about 5 or 4 years I was thinking about writing a book or getting some sort of justice and only have 100 pages of memories I wrote 6 or 8 months ago I didnt want physical evidence that could be used against me. And kept building image in mind that this would be like nuking pop culture or america? And just pure evil or not right to try to talk about. Up until about Nov. 2006 I had myself convinced that this was not real just struggling to find meaning in anarchy. Then it was strongly reinforced by people around me, and I am asking to just take a leap of faith with me maybe tell me what you think. I was told some of this sounds familiar and thinking back to any tangible proof that I had forgotten or more than my 1st person account. Music is trandacendal and is art and can mean something different to everyone I just used to see reflections or subliminals and it would fit with history. I thought of Nelly "Hot in Her(e)" I dont remember words I just used to hate that song and New Found Glory had a video around 2001 or 2002 with 2 kids in black trench coats with thorns on head and a guy dressed as a superhero with underwear on outside swinging off balcony. Part of problem was homophobia rant (eminem) with how I thought I was treated to girl who was flirting with me out of a bet, got a song "rainman" I listened to the other day that was disturbing I guess. With itunes videos and songs and old cds I was just asking for a different perspective than my own with some of these insane politics, Thank You.

[edit on 6-5-2008 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 6-5-2008 by P. O. W.]



posted on May, 7 2008 @ 10:52 AM
link   
Like Formlessness1999, I claim to be like the one, (thanks*%$#**@!!*) and he got thousands of people reading and about 150 replys. He is a gimmick and I claim to be the real thing, so formlessness I thought of something you might like "Mister Anderson... why, why why do you persist. I told you .... my name is NEO.



posted on May, 7 2008 @ 08:11 PM
link   
I am sorry I jumped to conclusions with form1999 and the pentagon war on the internet, he replied and might be a legit person not agent. Just had a lot of strange similarities. And I have been living pretty much in seclusion for over 3 years and a lifetime of being introverted, dont really know proper conduct to communicate with people (the humans). I just felt a little like Jason Bourne for awhile, looking over shoulder , expecting physical violence or worse, police and ambulances sometimes sirens practically every time I leave the house for a year or more and general feeling of unwelcomedness. Today within mile of house cop car alone with sirens and writing parked, then look down street minute later and see a cop car making a turn and later an suv or truck with sirens not on public safety in the distance in front of us before we turn and then behind and see it go by. Feel like I am being herded around like an animal or trying to be psyching me out. I could be extremely sensitive of everything around me and internalizing or doing math equations like a "beautiful mind" all the time unconciosly sometimes. I know fiction better than real life or the outside world and people. Also got an email from military on Nov. 26th 2006 that I breifly examined, huge at least 15 different sections of pages of info. and later got erased (was gone right after it showed up before I was ready to pass out)when I woke up from hardrive on AOL and PC after I got up after passing out for being up to long, and not realizing what it was. I dont think I should talk about it that much, legal and safety wise. And all I have today is my word and asking people to have faith or try to hear me out. I just wanted all this to end and done with. I dont know if a resistence against authority or youth against injustice would work or what else I can do to ask for help or what the ramafications would be (political? or social? )if any, I just had to try. No one to talk to about this here where I live, and what better place to try to get feedback or opinions than a site called abovetopsecret? "back pressed up against the wall, I am taking the fall, when I call no one is responding at all dont know who I can trust their screaming my name I need someone to help me out of the flame all I am trying to do is just master me but something just keeps talking to me subconcoiusly from dusk till dawn every day has something for ya but that voice in your head got you projecting paranoia" linkin park reanimation. I know I have sounded unfocused or /and naive and you may not believe what I know or think I know. I am going to try to keep my head down and learn as much as I can and try not to be spouting what must be considered nonsense. I have been housing all this uncertainty and paranoia for 7 years and felt like things were constantly escalating around me and maybe be paroled or just sound sane about this be part of human race again and life goes on normally.

[edit on 7-5-2008 by P. O. W.]



posted on May, 7 2008 @ 11:00 PM
link   

Originally posted by P. O. W.
Like Formlessness1999, I claim to be in a smiliar situation like the one, (thanks*%$#**@!!*) and he got thousands of people reading and about 150 replys. At first I thought he was a gimmick and I claim to be the a metaphor of the real thing, so formlessness I thought of something you might like "Mister Anderson... why, why why do you persist. I told you .... my name is NEO. (I like movies that question reality, matrix series is my favorite, like star wars for my generation) I didnt mean any disrespect just made some sort of sense to me.



posted on May, 8 2008 @ 11:28 AM
link   
Have you had a CAT scan or MRI to find any physical brain injuries? These doctors using seriously bad medication for a problem that may not be present goes against the hypocratic oath in my opinion. "First, do no harm."

I was on a drug called Seroquel to help me get to sleep for a few months. It is an antipsychotic that is used for "off the label" purposes. The antipsychotic dose is like 400mg/daily but I took 12.5 (half of the smallest tablet) at night. I felt more "relaxed" when I woke and just that little amount was enough to knock me out for 6 hours at a time. I am saying to look into it not because I think you might be suffering trauma related brain damage but because the drug may help you keep calm a little (and feel better overall - sleep matters awhole lot and not sleeping or relaxing is bad, I think).

Oh, if you do have "brain damage", might I suggest not drinking any alcohol what-so-ever? Only because it might cause you to become unstable while walking and lead to falls...

Hope to see you posting more



posted on May, 8 2008 @ 11:38 AM
link   
POW i dont mean to offend you at all but i have a serious question...

Are you Formlessness1999 In a few other threads now you have mentioned that username and also your postings are extremely similar
also including the fact that you also claim to be "The One"



posted on May, 8 2008 @ 04:21 PM
link   
From what I gather from your posts you have been in a mental institution more that a few times.

I recognize the herd mentality. I've been in a mental hospital twice. No, I'm not insane. I have PTSD and it was controlling my emotions. Thankfully I have learned to cope with it.

You are a result of manipulation by people that were trying to do what they thought was best for you.

Mental health treatment is still in the dark ages as far as I am concerned. Drugs are still used to keep patients quiet and controllable. I was immediately given Prozac when I entered the hospital. Of course the Valium 4 times a day kept me pretty well under control.

It didn't take but a few days and I felt like a robot being told when to go, stop, talk and even go to the bathroom. It was horrible. We would go on group trips bowling or shopping and we had to look like fools as we followed each other in a line waiting to be told what to do next. It was degrading and embarrassing. I lost my self esteem and all my grit.

During treatment I felt as if my head had been cut open and all my personal life spilled out for all to see.

I must admit I learned a few tricks concerning how to get along better with the idiots in this world. I had to become a changed person in order to be released from the hospital. Even after a few short weeks I lost my direction in life and questioned every aspect of my feelings. Had to relearn how to live in an open society again. It only takes a short time of being confined in a mental hospital for a person to become dependent on others to control their lives.

There is no need to go into the many things that went through my mind while confined. Even questioned my existence.

I understand the insurance part in your story as I saw many patients dismissed due to their insurance only paying for a certain amount of days of hospitalization in a mental hospital. Many were IMO not ready to face society. They had no choice.

If a person has not had the experience of being a patient for mental problems they cannot understand how the mind can go absolutely wild under the influence of drugs and manipulation by mental health professionals. A patient is closely watched and notes are taken for future evaluation. That is enough to make a person paranoid.

It's OK to have weird and far away feelings. It's like a herd of wild horses going in all directions. You just have to corral those feelings and sort the real from the imagined.

Please, stay with us. Talking about your feelings help. Don't give up now that you have opened up.

BTW I was "cured" and have led a good life and regained my self esteem and got my old b*&%^ self back.

There is hope.



posted on May, 10 2008 @ 02:01 AM
link   
I already had a CAT scan and sheduled an MRI. I have an over sensitive brain caused by bleeds and any drug I take is more intense. At first I felt I was wrongfully diagnosed or overly because of what I said. I dont really ever drink, I dont like to feel vulnerable.

No I am not Form... my guess is he is someone who knows me. I used an interpretation of the matrix to describe where I wascoming from. Neo was a rebel a hacker and an artist and Smith was a drone. Smith is defined as knowing a trade job skills, ie locksmith, blacksmith, ect. He was a part of the estalishment and Neo spent 2 years on his computer looking for Morpheus (king of dreams) joined resistence agaist those like him and eventually gave his life to end the war. The positive and the negative to balance equation. He came along and posted 3 hours before I did and I already had a manifesto written I started over 2 weeks before and spent 8 or 9 days deciding if I should post. He knows info. I do not so I tried to play along on his post as a reconasance mission. I thought he was trying to discredit and humiliate me and tried to back him into a corner so he couldnt floaty his way out.

I sometimes felt treated as a child and always around authority, always carefull. Some of the people I knew lived off of $100 a month after group home and had uncomprehendable afflictions. And they welcomed me with open arms just people living their lives none of click groups or high school things.


[edit on 10-5-2008 by P. O. W.]



posted on Nov, 22 2011 @ 07:35 PM
link   
This is from me to you , I am going to print out your old stuff and it didnt sound that crazy after all. We should both put this site in the past brings back bad memories and I am tired of helping with your problem.



posted on Jul, 1 2012 @ 12:10 PM
link   
This turned into what the illuminati Freemasons and the NWO . Maybe I should write a book or find a bigger place to put this so everyone can see.



posted on Jul, 1 2012 @ 12:16 PM
link   
Maybe this should be put in the R.a.t.s. forum. Second line.




top topics



 
0

log in

join