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Originally posted by orangetom1999
reply to post by darkelf
Women have to weigh the risk of having someone else raise their child to the financial risk when deciding to work or stay home.
Wait a minute here. Men don't weigh the risk of having someone else raise their child or children. This system we are under ..this choice is often defaulted away from a man..he has no choice in this.
As to financial risk when deciding to work or stay home...do males traditioinally get this "choice??" "deciding??"
Notice who is often presented with the choices/options here. When the choices or options are removed ...and RISKS take place..there is a sense of outrage.. unfairness.,...more options are not available..but men have found themselves in this position by default...from the starting line. It is only offensive when applied to women without a safety net. The angst is only female angst...or womens angst. Male angst doest count or can be defaulted so as not to be noticed or paid any attention to. Male angst is hardly heard ..hardly worth mentioning. We know this clearly because there are hardly any male "victimization" programs abounding.
They take a risk by staying home to raise their own children. They take a risk when working to put their husbands through school. They take a risk by putting off childbirth to pursue a career. They even take a risk by getting married.
Notice here DarkElf...most of these risks are for and about herself!!?? Notice this...they are not about the male...in thier lives.
Most of the time a woman working to put a man through school is so that he can have higher earning potential..the payoff comes later. Is this the same as a man putting a woman thorugh school? The outrage as mentioned ..in many posts is that the man earns more and then leaves the woman..more insecurity...about her.
Notice in this same vein..how many men are working to expendability and disposability to put not only their women in college or school but also thier children. Often with long hours of overtime worked..against failing health...physical well being...over and over and over.
I may be wrong here but most of the RISKS I know are men working to put thier children through college and long hours and overtime doing so..years and years and years..loan after loan after loan. Probably alot of this is because of the blue collar area whence I work. I do not see many as women doing this. I know of one who has done so...a single woman. I am sure that single women do this for their children and in this they would be very much like the male.
The point again here is for whom, what , and how the RISKS are taken. The circumstances.
Is it about the family per se..or are the postings mostly about her..her risks. IF she takes risks for the family..she is just like any male in this...this would be equality.
But when I see or detect that it is about "her" and her marketability..I get very let down.
What would a woman think of a man who worries about his marketability in taking RISKS...when she expects more from him??? Do you think that a man should not be aware that many women have this in mind...or should a man stay ignorant of this so as to be defaulted through...often with more RISK, disposability and expendability?? Where, when, and how often does this play through.....for frivilous reasons??? Not real value today.???
Should light be put on this concept so that men are awakened ..or should we worry about "Her" and her RISKS..marketability.
I agree ..in your individual case...you both weighed the risks together. No problems with this. This is what marriage partners should do...weigh the risks.
I say also that the caliber of women and men both out here is not as well tempered as is yours and your husbands. Especially in a consumer oriented social structure. To me ..my way of thinking ..many men out here have defaulted thier manhood to consumption levels..not real value.
And this is a man's fault for imperception about many things...including manhood.
Originally posted by Apolon
It is individual thing and experience varies diametrically. I've had very bad experience with my ex girlfriend and so did you with your Husband.
We forgot about the main point raised here, is feminist movement damaging family and society or do you disagree with that?
Do you think like I do that sudden "Woman freedom"was exploited by various parties in court and within a family and turned it against the Men, good or bad regardless?
BTW, you sound like a great Lady. Where have you been all my life
The decision of whether or not a woman goes to work should be a joint decision
I can tell you that often men want their SO to get a job so they can afford the toys that men like.
The risks are taken by both. The traditional roles are extremely difficult to overcome. Men still have choices. These choices should be discussed between the couple before they get married or move in together. A man who feels outrage over the societal position he has been placed in is not communicating adequately with his partner or has a very selfish one. Any male who will not stand up for his rights soon learns that he has none.
It’s not a matter of female vs. male angst. It’s a matter of both standing up for their rights and working together.
How are they not about the male? If the male was not in their life, they wouldn’t be making these decisions. The decision to augment the male’s earning power is about the male.
What man wants to come home after eight or more hours of work to spend his few hours before a well-earned rest taking care of the house work and the children? Yes, many do, but many don’t.
I see many women going back to work after their children are in school. These are usually wives of blue collar working men. These women are waitresses, secretaries, nurses, and a number of other lower paying career fields. Who is the risk for if not for the man?
If you mean marketability in terms of her being able to get another spouse, I agree.
I think the feminization of men...( is it so bad that hubby helps with dishes now...?) is a result of our changing lifestyles. As much as I may like my brute to pick me up over his shoulder and protect me from evil intentions the truth is he is needed to help wash the dishes, take care of the children and plan the dinner party because I'm at work.
Why does "feminine" has this negative connotation?
I have to ask: how often does the lawn need mowing or the washer need fixing?
When I was married, my husband worked 8 hours a day on a ship in which he spent the majority of that 8 hours playing computer games on his office computer.
Originally posted by madonnarules
I have been a lurker for quite some time and I have come to realize that the bashing or just plain rudeness is getting out of hand. Your comments to princess are quite rude. I think you could have handled it a little bit better. So what if she got off topic, she wasn't the only person to do so. No one is perfect.
Your grammar and spelling stink. No one is perfect, your grammar and spelling are proof!
Try being a little more kind even though she is a woman?