My life sucks......

Originally posted by chupacabraboy
well at least you have your health right

Yes how true!!

Exceptional point to make.

reply to post by JDN24


Hey dude you're not alone. You know I got this curse on me, I envy everything my few friends have. For example, they got a nice car I want to have a nice car. They got A on that accounting test I'll study to get an A too. The only thing I can't easily get is women. I have 3 reasons for this, first I'm shy around pretty women. Second, I'm not that good looking. Third, I'm not rich. So yeah, I'm pretty much #ed too. I just want to get a good job after graduating so I can have everything and more of whatever my friends have cause I just feel inferior when I don't have what they got. It's a curse I know. I can't resist it. It's part of who I am. Sometimes it makes me feel very depressed.

Sometimes I think of what my parents will think if they would compare me with my friends. I wanna come out on top in that comparison I don't want to make them feel ashamed. But all this hard work for what right? To die later? Lol, life a joke I'm willing to play. No matter what happens we all die anyways.

Darlin let me tell you that you are not alone. Many of us have had these same problems growing up and especially after we graduate high school.

As far as your parents, it's not your fault. Even if they did argue about stuff you feel is your fault, if they were still in love and in-tune with eachother they would've worked through it. I don't believe that arguing causes divorce, it's the breakdown of love for eachother and a breakdown of communication that causes divorce. So it's really not your fault and you can still have good relationships with both of your parents even though they are not together anymore.

I have the same money situation that you do pretty much. I work about 32 hours a week and only make about $332 a week, and I am 28 years old with a mortgage to pay. Granted I have a fiance to help out but we definatly don't make the suggested 3 times your mortgage payment. Point is, it's common to be short on money, have bills to pay and be short on time. You'll get through it.

Most of my high school mates are doing better than me as well. This one girl I went to school with told me she is getting her masters degree in teaching technology...I said "Oh cool, I work at wal-mart". But you know, I have little regret and I have many things in my life to be happy about and I am sure you do too.

At age 19, now is the best time to go through all the going clubbing with little money in your pocket and what not. That way, you won't be going through it at 30. You'll make it through, I know it!

Live for yourself dude, don't stress over what they have because they all probably work they're arses off and will wake up in 30 years and realise they never lived.

I know its chiche but in the words of Metallica "carpe diem mother#er"

The Dad Speech

Originally posted by JDN24
I guess what im trying to say is, my life just sucks.. I have no money, im falling behind in rent and loan repayments...

...I just dont know what to do... Im sorry if you feel that im just "another person coplaining about there problems" but i just had to get this off my chest..

JD, may I call you JD?

This is my "Dad Speech". I call it that, because it's the advice my father gave me, and the advice his grandfather gave him. I hope you're open to considering it, because it turned me around from being homeless to being a happily married father and homeowner with a healthy bank account and future goals.

First, in regards to Advice. Don't take advice from people who haven't displayed success in what they speak of. You wouldn't take advice on hairstyles from a bald man, so don't take advice on how to improve your lifestyle from stoners that still live with their parents. That's not a slight against anyone here, I'm sure you know some people like that in real life, and chances are at least one of them is a close personal friend. Just realize that sometimes your friends aren't good for good advice. If you want advice on how to get your life together, take it from someone you trust who has their life together. And then, most importantly, follow that advice.

Now, you don't know me from Jack, and all you have is my word to go on, but assuming you believe me when I say I've got my life happily together, here's one way to go about doing it.

Step One: Temporarily Stop Dating - This is going to be your hardest one to voluntarily do. Stop trying to pick up dates. The whole point of dating is either to eventuall get casual sex, to get married, or to find companionship. The persuit of casual sex will cost you valuable time, money, and put you at risk for disease or unplanned parenthood. All four of those factors are a massive impediment to your quest to get your life in order. As for marriage, you have no business getting married till you get your life in order. As for companionship, in your present state in life, you will only manage to attract someone who is so co-dependant on you that they will either hold you back from success, sabotage it, or require you to have to carry their weight as well as your own. When you have a broken leg, you don't try and carry someone else, and right now, you have the life-equivolent of a broken leg. So, swear off the pursuit of dating at the very least until you have made some significant contrast. Don't be afraid of missing out on your True Love, because if it's meant to be, it'll happen regardless of your designs.

Step Two: Better Yourself Financially - Start looking for a better paying job, or a like-paying job with more hours, or an additional job, or work on the side, etc. Make a budget. Realize the ultimate truth that it's not how much you make, it's how much you have left at the end of the month. Yes, you've taken on a massive debt right now. That sucks. You can still do something about it though. Get a copy of "The Richest Man in Babylon" by Clason. This should be your financial Bible from now on, and until you read it, you'll never know why. Further, there's a lot of advice I've already posted in this thread. Money is not all there is to life, but until you learn to be its master, you will be money's slave for life.

Step Three: Keep a Journal - Go get a blank journal book, and start keeping it up to date on a nightly basis. Write down your goals, your hopes, your dreams, your thoughts, what you did each day to improve your life, or how something you did to improve your life paid off. Long before I met my wife, I wrote out a list of things I would not compromise on in choosing a future wife. Some of them may have seemed obvious, like "she can't do hard drugs" or even not politically correct "she can't be married, divorced, or have kids". It doesn't matter if your personal requirements would offend someone who read them: if he or she doesn't meet your innermost requirements for whatever reason you have them, you will not be happy with them. In terms of other things, set goals, work towards them, and record your progress.

Step Four: Literally, Clean Up Your Life - If you have any addictions, break them. You cannot be the slave of anything that will drain your resources or force you to choose them in lieu of a better option. If you smoke, quit smoking, if you do drugs, get off them, if you are an alcoholic, join AA and stay dry. If you don't have any vices you are hooked on, then proceed to cleaning up your room, then the rest of your dwelling, then your car. The cleaner you and your environment is, the more you will feel like you have control over your life. The more you have control over your life, the quicker you'll get it together and keep it together. Pick at least one thing you will do, each day, to improve your living situation. It can be as minor as cleaning the bathroom to as major as reading a book on finances.

Step Five: Educate Yourself In Valuable Skills - If you can't afford a college education or books, use the internet or the library. Educate yourself on financial matters, certainly, but also educate yourself on your goals, towards a better career, on home ownership, on do-it-yourself repairs. Make this your hobby. Don't know how to change your brake pads out? Ask your mechanic or a friend to show you how or let you watch while they explain. Don't know a mortgage ARM from a fixed rate? Read up on it in detail. Got a leaky faucet and don't know how to fix it? Read up on it and do it yourself and learn in the process. Every single thing you learn to do yourself, every skill, adds to your sense of self-worth, your knowledge immediately at hand in a crisis, and saves you cumulatively more money over time.

Step Six: Plan Ahead - If you've done steps 1-5, you've already made significant progress. Now what will you do if something threatens that progress? If a storm destroys your home, do you have a second copy of all your important papers, insurance, etc, in a safety depost box at a bank? If you have car trouble, do you have a road kit set aside with stuff like flares, air compressor, fix-a-flat, etc? If there is a market collapse in an industry, have you diversified your investment portfolio to absorb the loss? All of these things are very important, and the more you think about them, the more you will think of new ways to protect your progress. The more ways you plan ahead, and prepare for disaster, the less it will cost you when they do happen, and they will.


So, that's my Dad Speech. I can talk all day about this kind of stuff, but to be honest, I'd best keep it brief and sincere. Only you can decide to do this stuff. If this list seems like a hassle to you, and you want a shortcut, then you're not really ready to be a man yet, and maybe you just need to run off to some other city and "find yourself."

That's not an insult. I did that exact same thing, roughly at your age. Later, when I decided to become a Man, I asked my dad for the Dad Speech, he gave me a version of the above. It's your choice, mate. I hope you choose to be a Man, but will understand if you first need to find yourself. Just try to avoid getting deeper in debt while you're searching.

[edit on 4/29/2008 by thelibra]