My life sucks......

I wasn't sure where to post this, or who to tell, but the only place i thought i could talk about this, was here to you guys/girls on the Above Network..

To start off, My name is Josh, im 19, turning 20 in May. I graduated Year 12 in 2005 at Ballajura Community College.

My parents split up in 2003, which hit me and my brother really hard. I got over it sooner than my brother did, but still to this day, i still have these "unknown" feelings.. I blame myself for the seperation, and i think that most of the stuff that they argued over, was my fault.
Once i graduated from school, things became worse. I lost contact with all my good mates. Years went by, working no-where jobs, mostly in the Retail industry.

Things changed once again, when one nite, i went out with some guys from work, and i met up with a few guys that i graduated with.. I got there mobile numbers,MSN,Myspace's and so on.. When i created "Myspace" i had people from back in school, adding me as their friend's, which was no problem. I started talking to people from back in school, and they started blowing me off, talking sh*t, saying stuff that wasn't true and also making rude comments, and i was like WTF?

A few months ago, i moved out of home and moved in with that guys from work. I knew a few of them from back in school and we get on really good.

I never used to go out clubbing, or to partys, but once i moved in with my mates from work, i changed bigtime. We started going out every Friday, Sat, and Sunday nights, going all out, meeting girls, it was awsome... Untill my pay at work dropped. I do 38 Hours a week, and i get payed $310. What makes this even worse, i went to the bank and took out a $13,000 loan.. This was the worst decision i have ever made. The loan repayments are $142 a fortnight for 5 years, and i also have to pay $150 a fortnight for rent.. so thats a total of $292.

Back to Myspace, i was looking at all the Profiles of the people i went to school with, and i was shocked.. They have all been overseas, have nice cars, they all have careers, or most of them no what they want to do with thier lifes..

I have no hobby's, the only things that im interested in, are the things we talk about here on the Above Network.. When i tell people about the topics we talk about, there like hahah freak!..I have no idea what i want to do/be and im turning 20 and i feel old already lol...Sounds stupid, but thats what i feel like..
I guess what im trying to say is, my life just sucks.. I have no money, im falling behind in rent and loan repayments, my GF split up with me becuase she is running off with her best friend Chelsea to England for six months. They fly out in 2 days time..

I just dont know what to do... Im sorry if you feel that im just "another person coplaining about there problems" but i just had to get this off my chest..

Thanks for reading

JDN24

Sounds like the loan payback and your girlfriend going away is especially tough.

Dude seriously your a pup.Stop stressing so hard.Im a bit older than you and get told im still a pup myself.I used to freak about the same things, still do a little.You know what though most of your old school chums are probably up to there eyeballs in debt as well.I have a few mates who own nice cars or whatever and pretty much cant afford to eat.Yea they got a wardrobe of trendy metro shirts and some flash shoes to go with there plasma/lcd tv but most struggle to put gas in there flash cars.Id say to you pay your loan as fast as you can and save your ass off.I have the highest disposable income of pretty much anyone i (personally)know through saving and spending my money well.Im not trying to brag but doing some of the hard yards in my early twenty's and making mistakes + saving hard the last couple of years has allowed me now to enjoy myself a little and still not have to worry about a rainy day.

Girls come and go mate there more expendable than money.

reply to post by Azador


wow that's nice


Mod Note: One Line Post – Please Review This Link.


[edit on 26-4-2008 by elevatedone]

reply to post by Nyorai


What my woman comment or my blurb that sounds more condescending than i realised.What i really meant jdn was dont stress you are still young and while it seems an uphill battle right now you'll laugh it off down the track and learn and be wiser from these experiences.

reply to post by Azador


That makes a lot more sense.

It does seem hopeless. Endless. Hope is highly important. Lose hope and you may see no cause to live, you may feel trapped.

Yet because there is love, there is always hope for us to live in.

[edit on 26/4/2008 by Nyorai]

Shoot, you have tons of time left... I'm 30 and do basically do the same nothing you do... However, I don't feel like my life sux and I do know what I want to do, I'm doing it... Funny thing is, if your life sux maybe it's because you choose to have it that way...? Life is what you make of it holds a lot of truth... :bnghd:

reply to post by ElectricUncleSam


True, we are ultimately the only one who can change ourself. We cannot really change others, and others cannot really change us.

Dude, don't sweat it. When I was 20 I was living with a douchebag roommate, making minimum wage plus tips, and didn't have a car.

The best advice I can give is to keep your eyes open. Opportunities are around us all the time, we just need to recognize them when they present themselves. It's not always easy to recognize them, but they're there. One day you could be flipping burgers, the next you could be flying in private jets.

It worked out for me anyway.

Good Luck!!

We've all been there kidda..:bnghd:

As a 20yr old I was with the rest of the rat race scurrying trying to get promotions/increases in salary and all the mod cons you could think of.

Some people are meant to be in high positions with the 'domesticated' lifestyle.. some people are more suited as thinkers and philosophers..
You already sound more of the second instance.

Yeah it's frustrating when people seem to have more 'material wealth' than you, but how many of your friends are also in debt for these flash items too.. in much larger amounts than you.

I was abroad once as a kid.. then never again until I was 29,after that,something changed in me and I realised more things were achievable using my alternative talents as opposed to my academic ones..
I've still lived a priviliged lifestyle with hotels/fast bikes and faster relationships lol.. the diference being I never owned anything outright and that felt SO much better in the case that I could up and leave a place/country/job whenever it suited me..

You just have to figure out exactly what it is you want,how hard you are prepared to work to achieve it and what will keep you sane once you have it.

What is your special talent that can do this for you?

Originally posted by JDN24
I blame myself for the seperation, and i think that most of the stuff that they argued over, was my fault.

Hi Josh. If you read up on this, it is typical of kids to feel responsible for a breakup. That is not correct, you are not your parents issues, they had issues before you were born, that is generally how it goes

What makes this even worse, i went to the bank and took out a $13,000 loan.. This was the worst decision i have ever made. The loan repayments are $142 a fortnight for 5 years, and i also have to pay $150 a fortnight for rent.. so thats a total of $292.

Ok, everyone makes choices that bite them eventually. You are not the only person who is earning bugga all and finding it hard to live comfortably with what you earn and what you have to pay out. Apply for jobs while you are working where you are What have you got to lose?

Simple if you are not earning enough, get a job that will pay you more! Hospitality pays a very good hourly rate. There is an easy solution to this.

They have all been overseas, have nice cars, they all have careers, or most of them no what they want to do with thier lifes..

Reality check = My Daughter is 17 and had 3 months overseas at xmas... who paid for that? NOT her. Her Mother (Me) DID. So, don't think for one minute that these kids may have done all these great things and you haven't... perhaps their circumstances are different?
Do not compare, it is the worst thing you can do! Just get on with your life. Focus on YOU.

I guess what im trying to say is, my life just sucks.. I have no money, im falling behind in rent and loan repayments, my GF split up with me becuase she is running off with her best friend Chelsea to England for six months. They fly out in 2 days time..

OK this really rubs salt into your wounds, but only if you let it
Speak to a debt administrator... there are plenty around that do not cost $
Get another job and you will be fine. If your GF has decided to go OS, then good for her. This could be the motivation you need to change

Just get on with dealing with your unhappiness and frustration. Fix the cause and I feel it is the lack of money, the restrictions you are facing. Don't stay feeling defeated for too long, get up and make some changes.

You are only 19 yrs old. You are out on your own looking and paying for yourself. Well done! AND Good on you! It isnt easy, most Adults don't cope so don't be so hard on yourself.

Don't be negative... things will work out if you grab the bull by the horn and start changing the things you are unhappy about.

Bet that felt good getting it all down in writing. That's been pent up for a while I'll presume. But please,don't threat,you'll do fine.Life sucks every now and then,you'll get over it. You have to take the rough with the smooth. I'm 30,I'm in a crappy job (psst,all jobs are crap) But it's local,pay's ok-ish,and it's constant. Yes,I've setlled because I was too lazy to go and do the music tech/electritian courses I wanted to do. (too busy partying). You may not want to settle,so don't! You're still very young,there's loads of time left for you to learn a trade,or do that course you've always wanted to do. There's time for me to still do it!!

Basicly,all is NOT lost,you're at the start of your life as an adult. And it's one heck of alot harder than some people make it look. They're the lucky ones,that's not the norm. That loan will be paid off in the end,you never know what's round the next corner. You could get a new job next week,what's stopping you? Only you,and your percieved limitations of what you're capable of. You really can do anything with your life,but you've got to want it,and you've got to work for it.

Back to your first paragraph,where you feel responsible for your parents break up. Like Thurisaz said,it's very common for the children of breakups to feel like it was their fault. It wasn't,it truly wasn't. I went through the same thing,I remember once,my mum and I having an argument about my recent spate of bad behaviour. I said that's why my dad left,cos of me. My mum stopped being angry with me,and burst into tears (infact we both did) She had no idea I felt that way. And it broke her heart to think that it had twisted me to thnk that. Thing I'm trying to say I guess is,your parents probably don't know you feel like that either. Talk to them buddy,tell them how you feel. Otherwise it'll be another repressed memory for the shrink to break down when you're in your 40s

Right,my small ramble over,let's wrap this up. You'll do fine,you're just like everybody else mate,we're all in the same boat. Debts,life struggles,guilt and all that junk. It's part and parcel of life. But it's only the bad aspects of it. There's so much good stuff,I couldn't even begin to list them! Chin up kiddo,it ain't over till the fat lady sings,innit!

Ok, been there, actually I battle with chronic manic depression.

Good news, it is not ever as bad as we perceive.

The other good news, your "friends" and old school chums on MySpace are only showing you what they want you and the world to see..."Look at me I'm happy and successful!" 99% of what you read or see on MySpace is BS.

More good news, money is only money, you're still breathing.

And still more good news: You've got friends here.

reply to post by MrMicrophone


Haha ya,
don't worry about being poor really, we all suffer. Just do what you love.

What are your passions? Anything in the way of college, etc?

Every body who has a life in this world will lose it. Everyone who loses their life in this world stands the chance of gaining it.

Has the thought ever occurred to you that the one who owns you might just be knocking on your door?

If a man loses everything he may just gain what the world doesn't have to offer. Eternity.

My first participation here in BTS. I would like to say that there are very few words of wisdom that can be more 'universal' than - "I promise you, you are not alone." Keep sharing. Always.

To every single one of you, i can only say one thing - Thankyou, its good to no that im not the only one in the same situation.

I really appreciate all the advice,

Cheers

Yea chin up pal."On your feet soldier".

well at least you have your health right

[edit on 27-4-2008 by chupacabraboy]