This isn't exactly a joke, but it is funny (about masturbation)

Note that the following might be offensive. If you get offended easily, then uhh, don't read. K? K.

All the slang words for masturbation:
bashing the candle
beating your meat
Bleeding the weasel
bleedin the weed
buffing the banana
bopping the baloney
burping the worm
choking the chicken
cleaning your rifle
corking the bat
cranking the shank
cuffing the carrot
fisting your mister
flogging your dog
floggin the frog
flogging the hog
flogging the log
flute solo
jerkin'the gherkin
looping the mule
manual override
painting the pickle
pocket pinball
pocket pool
polishing the banister
polishing the rocket
pounding your flounder
pumping the python
roping the pony
spanking the monkey
teasing the weasel
tossing the turkey
walking the dog
whipping the willy
wonking your cronker
yanking the crank.

Well I thought this was a funny list, and useful too!

ahh u missed one


"beating the bishop"


oops theres another one this one is a bit rare

"draining the dragon"

lol and another

"taming the one eyed snake"



[Edited on 26-2-2004 by kurtcobainuk]

Good idea. Let's make this a topic where we list all the synonyms for masturbation we know

Erm, I have been known to 'wax the dolphin'........

for female masturbation :

plunging the happy hole
digging in the honey pot

I was gonna do something about this thread cos some members may find it offensive but as Elite has warned ppl it maybe offensive then to me its O.K

I thought it was buffing the bishop...

2 for woman: bumping the booy ( that thing in the ocean that floats)

and flicking the bean.