Feeling Empty..

reply to post by LLoyd45


Sorry to hear of your troubles Lloyd,

It seems that there could be a number of reasons for the way you feel, for instance, you first said you "saw nothing" as you died, and seem concerned by that. Of course, it would be completely natural to die and come back and be worried you saw nothing.. what is there after death? No one knows, and we rely on those of us who die to tell us. And you saw nothing? I can only imagine how that would feel, my self never have died, I would hope for at the minimum what Scientist tell us to expect, I would take that to nothing as the spiritual side of me would be disturbed.

IMO, that is your problem, and the only way to fix that would be to re-affirm to your self your own spiritual beliefs, perhaps change them, perhaps fortify them, and accept what happened or did not happen.

The other possibility is you feel you where done wrong.. you where in someones complete and utter care, they had your life in their hands and they acted like a jackass, botched the procedure and risked you dieing just to save face.

No doubt that could leave a person with a feeling of emptiness, perhaps taken advantage of when you where in dire need, a lacking ability to rely on others, maybe angry. I would be angry.

You could always sue the bastard and give the money to people in need, reaffirming your spiritual and giving side, while avenging those who took advantage of you, a little closure perhaps.

One thing I will tell you NOT to do, is go on anti depressants.. they make you feel like a drone, empty and worthless and practically none-existent.. I don't wish those pills on even my worst enemy.. there is good reason why people loose their sanity while taking them.

Hope that helps some.

Originally posted by LLoyd45
I feel funny telling people close to me about my concerns, so sharing with people like yourself ,and the others here on the thread is therapeutic in many ways.

I agree and thank you again for starting this. I tried talking to Doctors but it is useless. They label me a nut or suffering from depression. If I talk to people close to me they listen but it's clear they don't connect.

People don't seem to understand that I'm not depressed. I'm actually a glass is half full person. I have a good life. I like going to work. Loosing my passions is not the same.

Whatever happened to me happened while I was dead on that operating table. The Doctors never disputed the fact I was dead but beyond that they actually seemed scared by what I was saying. When I was able to quote to the Surgical Nurse their exact words, I visibly scared her.

I actually got to know her after I left. A strange coincidence as a co-worker invited me to his house and there she was. She had quite that Hospital over that Doctor, and worked at a different one.

Keep well

LLoyd, your body doesn't die that quickly. Though clinically dead, you were still alive, albeit subconcious. Your soul never left.

reply to post by Barbs46
I guess in a way my feelings are of a metaphysical nature. I wonder whether the soul makes me who I am, or is it my memories and thoughts embedded in my gray matter. Before all this I never had gave the notion much thought.

I don't like taking any kind of medications unless they're absolutely necessary, so I've turned down numerous offers of antidepressants. I don't think I'm depressed really, just having some form of an existential meltdown. The pastor at my church though a great guy, just don't understand what I'm talking about, and I get the dinstinct impression he believes I have a screw or two lose, and pities me instead. I guess it's just one of those things where you had to be there.

I've never tried meditation or yoga before, so maybe I'll look into it. Thanks for all your input and suggestions Barbs.



[edit on 4/25/08 by LLoyd45]

reply to post by SteveR
I know I wasn't biologically dead, but I'm troubled about the absence of memory for the whole event. I can't help wondering if the part of me that would have remembered left for destinations unknown. I know that sounds strange, but that's how I feel inside.

reply to post by Blaine91555
I know what you're saying about getting the feeling that the doctors and others act as if you've slipped a cog or something.

It sounds kind of like you had an out of the body experience of sorts, me I remember nada, though I wish sometimes I did though.

My doctor hid the fact that my heart stopped for over four minutes and I had to be resuscitated. I found out after I had been transferred to a new hospital. I asked to be moved once I saw the butchering job he did to my abdomen. It looked like he had performed an autopsy on me with all the huge sutures. He was supposed to be one of the best surgeons in the area, but unfortunately had a slight drinking problem. I just happened to get him on one of his bad days.

reply to post by Rockpuck
thanks for the reply Rockpuck. you're right about the not remembering part being troubling. I often wonder why.. I guess for now I'm not meant to know.

I did feel abused and taken advantage of when I knew all the facts, and saw the damage he had done while in an alcoholic stupor. I considered sueing him, but felt sorry for the guy instead. He was supposed to be a great surgeon, but his drinking problem turned him into a bleary eyed, red-nosed has been.

I didn't want to profit from his mistake, I just wanted the damage corrected. He did remove his fee from the bill in way of apology, but never did say the words which would have meant a lot more.

I'd never consider using antidepressants. I enjoy being fully alert and in control of my life. My problems lie elsewhere, and a happy pill won't solve it in my opinion.

I appreciate your concern and your suggestions Rock, and I'll work myself through this like I have other issues in my life. Thanks for caring

If I keep going I'll fill the whole thread single-handedly, so let me just say, I really appreciate all the great suggestions, advice, and concern expressed by Everyone. It really does make a difference.

reply to post by LLoyd45


You body was in a crisis. It's not unusual for you to have no recollection of the event. And remember, you have to be closer to death to experience the NDE.

Hi Lloyd,
I know this is an old thread but I feel like I want to add a few things. Most of this is probably a no brainer comment but could your hospital stay or situation have reminded you of something in the past?

Did you have any serious medical issues as a kid and did any member of your family work in the medical field? Have your childhood issues (we all have them) been looked at? Was your home,city, family environment as a child difficult? This might be place to look if you haven't already.

What religion if any were you brought up in? And one more question has anything traumatic happened recently?

[edit on 2-10-2008 by valley]

[edit on 2-10-2008 by valley]