Pulp Shakespear

A friend at work shared this and I HAD to share this with you guys.

ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter a carriage, with JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

J: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
V: What say they then, pray?
J: Hachis Parmentier.
V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
J: Cream is but cream, only they say le crème.
V: What do they name black pudding?
J: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.


...


J: My pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
B: What?
J: What country dost thou hail from?
B: What?
J: How passing strange, for I have traveled far,
And never have I heard tell of this What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
B: What?
J: The Queen's own English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
B: Aye!
J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
B: What?
JULES presses his knife to BRETT's throat
J: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
B: He is dark.
J: Aye, and what more?
B: His head is shaven bald.
J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
B: What?
JULES strikes and BRETT cries out
J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
B: Nay!
J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
B: I did not!
J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou hoped to rape him like a chattel whore,
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With anyone but she to whom he wed.

Source: community.livejournal.com...

That was a great movie, I remember that scene when they went to collect the money, somehow I remember the words being a little different than that

Wraoth my friend?

What in the HELL is this?!?!?!?

It's totally insane!!! roflmaooooo

Wondering if this was created when somebody accidently sauntered into an Amsterdam coffee-shop?

I remember writing stuffs when I was half in the bag from my beer....but this literally TAKES THE CAKE...lololol

Where did this come from?

~Ducky~

That was pure gold! I laughed so freaking hard I almoast pissed myself.

I am stealing this bit for my signature line.

How passing strange, for I have traveled far,
And never have I heard tell of this What.
What language speak they in the land of What?

reply to post by TheDuckster


A friend at work found it and HAD to share it with me.
I about fell out of my seat.
Who said rent-a-cops don't have a sense of humor?

reply to post by whatukno

Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!

Strikes Wukky for using the what word....lololololol

~Ducky~

Gave ya a Star Wraoth!

Too freakin funny!!!!

~Ducky~

There should be a fantasy version of a modern film. Pulp Fiction would work.

reply to post by Nyorai


Yes, wouldn't it be a wonderful mirror to the recent "Romeo and Julliet" film?
Shakespeare made Modern.
Then lets take a modern movie and make it Shakespeare.

reply to post by TheDuckster

I dare say the lady doth protest to much. I take thy strike uppon mine cheek maddam, a modicum of physical contact, albiet in thus form of a strike uppon my lips as if an embrace but for a moment flash.

Tis true I hath reveled in the What word thus, pray tell me am I wrong for indulging this written prose?

Nay I say unto the strike not uppon my brow your vicious lashings for mine is the relm of comedy and I embrace not tragety so.

Hath not a Wukky eyes? Hath not a Wukky hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer as a Duckster is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Wukky wrong a Duckster, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Duckster wrong a Wukky, what should his sufferance be by Duckster example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.


Edit: to rip off the merchant of venice for a second.





[edit on 4/23/2008 by whatukno]

Pray tell me that I hath not wrought assunder this thread with elegent words and fancifull adoo. Pray I say that there shalt be more posts within this hallowed commedy anew.

Not I should be the one to slaughter this thread with cunning skill, as an assassin not I. Nay I say. Oh Pulp Shakespear thread I knew thee not well, in thy short life thou hast shown great humor and witty reparte.

Say now unto me that another poster shalt breath life anew into your page. Is there none among you that can hear the call to this thread to endulge us with witty reply? Canst not my fellow ATSers submit a comment to this embattled thread to wit and rewit

Pray thou to write thine words in the Queen's own English, as to the bard in whit the origional poet doth present.

reply to post by whatukno


Roses are thrown on the stage

BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!

I wish I could giveth thee an applause for this one dear knave!

~Ducky~

You know we should put our heads together and flesh out the script more.
It could be fun.

I love the idea! doing pulp shakespere as a full play!

Awesome!





is there a place to download the script?

reply to post by whatukno


I shall look.
*line added because I wish to keep my BTS/ATS points thank you*

And here it is the original script for Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction Script Link
I would probly cut and paste the whole thing but that is ALOT of work.



Should we split up scenes or?

"Me thinks the lady doth protest to much." oh wait that would be me got to love Shakespeare and his way with words (and the ladies lol)



reply to post by WraothAscendant

reply to post by WraothAscendant


Darn...TOOTENETH!!!

~Ducky~

reply to post by WraothAscendant


Split up the scenes, see how they mesh?

~Ducky~

what do you mean? each of us take a different scene? and Barditize it as it were?

That could be loads of fun