the "Pickup" thread.

What's up guys? I'm starting this thread for men who want to share some of their tried and true 'methods' for attracting women.

I have been into Pickup for a while and have learned a lot of things about women and attraction I would have never learned on my own. I'll admit in the past I was not as successful with women as I wanted to be, this was because I did not know how to approach them or what to say to them. I was also very shy. Boy have things changed a lot!

I know this thread will probably bring some controversy with it. Especially with those who think all this is only to get into women's pants, which it's not completely about at all.

So if you have any questions on how to approach women et cetera, let me know. If you also have some Limiting mind beliefs that need to be dispelled, let me know what's holding you back. And if any of you fellas have anything to include, please do. Women, you are also welcomed to give advice.

...well, well, well, look who it is!

Men my...spoke too soon!
I will be watching this one!
I enjoy reading what you have posted on other threads!
You seem to know what you are talking about!
*Flagged*






[edit on 4/21/2008 by Givenmay]

reply to post by Givenmay


You are welcomed any time you want Givenmay. If you got anything to add please do. It's great to have a female's perspective in this. After all, that's what it's all about.

Now I want everyone to keep in mind that I'm not some pro or something. I just want to share some knowledge I've learned over the years from the guys who could be considered "pros."

If you want names, definitely look up "Mystery," Neil Strauss, and David DeAngelo.

Don't be shy guys, lets hear those questions!


[edit on 21-4-2008 by thehumbleone]

Where are all the boys? I am waiting eagerly, to hear the insider wisdom.


How do you boys do it?
How do you catch us, is there a secret serum?

WIS

[edit on 21-4-2008 by WalkInSilence]

Hmm, since everyone is being shy I guess I'll start with something.

Today we're going to talk about the opener.

An opener is simply a way to initiate a conversation with a women. The whole point of it is to simply get two people talking. It is not a "pickup like" or anything like that. As a matter of fact, I believe pickup lines were actually created as comedic one-liners and I don't think they were ever actually intended to be used to meet women. A "pickup line" would be considered a direct opener because you are immediately conveying your intentions to the women, which is usually a bad idea at first unless she also has a mutual attraction for you.

This is why it is best to use an indirect opener. An indirect opener is usually just a question about something, it shouldn't convey your intentions.

For example, lets say you see a beautiful woman at the mall and want to approach her. First walk up in a non-threatening manner, usually from 10 o' clock.

Now all you are going to do is ask her a simple question.

this is called the "jealous girlfriend opener" invented by Neil Strauss:

“Hey guys, I need a female perspective on something. This’ll only take a minute. My roommate’s girlfriend just found a shoebox he keeps hidden in a dresser drawer, and she’s really upset about it.

It’s nothing bad, just pictures of him and ex-girlfriends on vacation and old love letters he got in high school and stuff. But for some reason his girlfriend is freaking out about this and wants him to get rid of it or she’s threatening to break up with him.

Is this normal female behavior?”

So now she wants him to burn the box or she’s leaving him, isn’t that messed up??

The other thing to keep in mind is you want to use what we call a "time constraint." That means saying something like "I can only stay for a minute" during your opener. The point of this is so the people you are talking to wont be worried that you're gonna stay forever.

Another important thing is giving a reason why you are asking a question. This is called "rooting." You could say something like, "I was just asking because..." And give your reason. this will let them know that you're not just asking people random questions.

Keep in mind that it's important to come up with your own openers. Use something that happened in your life or in the life of someone you know.

So this is only the first step, it's a lot of info but there are a lot more things that come after this. I hope you guys find it interesting and I will talk about the other steps later on.


[edit on 21-4-2008 by thehumbleone]

reply to post by WalkInSilence


Flag it WIS!

Okay, I too want to know how guys attract gals. I would say it boils down to pheromones. If any guy smells off to us gals, then I see of no use of these ‘pick-ups’. Oops, then again money speaks louder no matter the appearance or background of the guy.

reply to post by pikypiky


I'm speechless right now piky. nearly 90 views and no men have replied.

Are all you guys telling me that you have never felt unsatisfied with your romantic relationships? or that you've never wondered how to approach women and get their number?

reply to post by thehumbleone


I just had a thought about perhaps the tides have turned and maybe women are the ones picking up the guys.


[edit on 2008-4-21 by pikypiky]

reply to post by pikypiky


It happens all the time actually. Most guys are just to dull to recognize when the opportunity arises.

I think the way to attract 'me' is with sincere honesty.
I like a man that is a little standoffish and powerful in a silent and non assuming way. Looks can and are always deceiving so the look is not at all what I go for. Rich has always been a turn off so guys that profess their attributes are to me trying to sell and a real man is never a commodity.
Personal hygeine is a must although a man is a turn on when he is hot from doing work especially for me.
Being a single Mom and even during marriage, one thing that really turns me on is when I see the kids learning and laughing with my man.
Also one that admits no body could ever cook as good as his MOm but thinks I come in second and would rather eat my cooking than any resturant.
A man that can laugh at life but has a mysterious, serious nature as well, protective and loyal.
These are but a few qualities that can attract me...

I always know whithin the first thirty seconds weather or not I would sleep with a guy. So what ever his schpuel is matters very little in that respect.

[edit on 21-4-2008 by antar]

reply to post by antar


Thanks for the post antar. I appreciate how truthful and genuine you are with your post. It all sounds like good advice to me.

Let me ask you a question. What makes you decide whether or not the person is a man you would sleep with. Is it the confidence he portrays? Is it the way he treats you or the things he tells you?

Originally posted by antar
I always know whithin the first thirty seconds weather or not I would sleep with a guy. [edit on 21-4-2008 by antar]

I'm wondering how do you know so soon?

30 second does'nt quite seem long enough!
I have been around guys that I thought yea, wow, I would tear that up,
but, then something turns me off about him later, the attraction goes away!

Well the first thirty seconds is too soon to judge the way he treats me or in what he says. I guess it is closer to what you said about his attitude, his energy, I see in his eyes a little reflection of history to be made I suppose. Everything after that either seals the deal or pushes him away.
Sounds like you have maybe met the one and are looking for after advice? It is rare to find a girl that will change her mind. At least not one that is worth it. I am not saying it is impossible, look at Cereno De bergerac.

Originally posted by Givenmay

Originally posted by antar
I always know whithin the first thirty seconds weather or not I would sleep with a guy. [edit on 21-4-2008 by antar]

I'm wondering how do you know so soon?

30 second does'nt quite seem long enough!

maybe she bases that time on the same amount of time it takes some guys to... um.... nevermind lol

Here's my opening gambit....

I approach a young lovely and inquire, "are you the one they said smells like a goat"

In the stunned silence I say "did I say goat, I meant sweet flower of the south"

then we all just laugh and laugh. She knows that she has just encountered someone with a curious since of humor, that doesn't take himself to seriously and wants to find out more about me. Drinks, I tell her the joke about the pony with yellow balls, more laughter, first thing you know we are driving in my 450SL up in the mountains and watching the sun come up over the mesa.

Don't drink and drive!!!

reply to post by Givenmay


I did not mean that I meet a guy and 30 seconds later we are peeling our clothes off! I just meant that I have always known. Never been talked into it , and I have had some great offers in the day. Just because I know that I would, does not mean it is in my best interest. Or his. I would never want to hurt a man intentionally. Nor am I out to be burned or hurt.

Originally posted by antar

Sounds like you have maybe met the one and are looking for after advice? It is rare to find a girl that will change her mind. At least not one that is worth it. I am not saying it is impossible, look at Cereno De bergerac.

lol no, I have not found "the one" nor am I looking for her. Right now I'm just having fun.

I'm just trying to improve my game and find out more about women, and help other men in the process.

reply to post by thehumbleone


Really? Takes you 30 seconds??? I thought it was instantaneous???