Ill tell you my story ..
first allow me to point out that no doctor has given me a real diganois of PTSD .. after doing some extensive research in to what could have been my
issues i found information about this back in late 06 when i was trying my best to hold on to somebody who wanted out of the realationship..
i have never been on any of their so called meds . as i always felt that i had the strength within me to somehow rise above that .i have my good days
and my bad days just like anyone else lately tho thank god my good days out number my bad days yet i dont know why this is ......
back in 95 shortly after my first born was born( shes now soon to be 16 ) my then boyfriend yelled and threaten my family to force them to allow
him to see his daughter..( hes totally mentally unstable , hell the whole family is for reasons im not getting into on here as they would break the T
N C s of the site) so we my sister and i went to his cheap hotel room where he was living at the time to show him the baby... after that my family
had desided to cut him out from amelyas life all together for the babys sake....
heres where i screwed up my whole life.. be it a love spell he put on me or whatever that was . at any rate i had just given birth not 5 weeks before
and was post-partom.. i ran out of the back of the house to go see him . he made a phone call to his sister and got her to physically threaten me
over the phone because of what we told him . she thought that he had the right to be a part of his daughters life .. in any other normal situation he
would have had that right .she told me either pack up my self and the baby and move down to his hometown or else she would come up and kill me and
take the baby anyway.
anyway thats exactly what i did . i took my baby and headed down to his hometown. the largest mistake i have ever made in my life .
a few months later him and his sister ganged up on me the two of them declaired me unfit to care for my daughter ( when both of them were and are
still on SSI) started a anouther huge fight and kicked me out in the street one night and kept the baby . so there i was in a strange city knowing
nobody expect his family . i didnt know where to go to for help and my family had by the moved back to new york. i was literally homeless and
broke. a few days later he joined me and left the baby with his sister ..
next thing i know Im pregnant again . and his sister up and spilt town leaving my daughter with his mother.
when she was 5 or 6 months old i got legal paperwork in the mail too late to do anything about . so his mother could claim legal gardianship over the
baby . to which she got with no backround check on her at all.
by the time our 2nd daughter was born we were living in a rundown trailer with no heating or anything like that .
so thanks to two different phone calls ( one from the hospital and one from his mother of all people)CPS interviewed me while i was still in the
hospital checked out our living situation at the time and deemed it to be unfit to raise a baby in and even then i agreed with CPS...
he on the other hand did not agree....
my 2nd daughter was born 5 weeks early after 38 hours or longer of labor.. they kept her at the hospital for an additional 9 days which then gave cps
time to talk me into signing over the baby to them and fostercare..i felt at the time that i had no choice and they cps told me it was to be a temp
thing til one of us had a job and a decent place to live .
thats exactly what i did i went out and the first thing i did was get a job as soon as i was able to . by then my then husband still continued to
refuse to help me in any shape or form as to better houseing ect . so it was all on me .
by this time we had gone to court to try and get the baby back because we had heard that in these kind of situations cps normally gave the new parents
a 90 day grace period to prove that they could handle the stresses of raising an infant... our source of information was wrong .
to get the baby out of foster care asap i had asked my sister to step in and take her back to new york . that too was only suppose to be temp
during the 9 month court battle both of us were declaired unfit as parents legally me from what my mother told me that was only because i at the
time refused to leave my husband. til almost 2 years later when the mer thought of him literally made me sick .
bare in mind what had happened to me was yes it was partiallly my fault but all i really ever wanted out of life was to be sombodys wife and mother
i was in my late teens and early 20s when this happened.
since then i have had hardships like you wouldnt believe .. but now as i look back on it all yes these experiences did screw me up . but somehow ,
someway i have risen above all of that and become a stronger woman for it ....
so yes in a way i do have PTSD but my case is rather mild ...
Ps this is the short short verison of what i went though at these peoples hands ... i left out a lot of details and stuff .
edit on 17/2/11 by alysha.angel because: (no reason given)