I was hoping there would be other postings.
I did want to say that after I am triggered, and then during a bout with PTSD my mind observes things at a slightly slower rate. One of my worst
problems is when I speak to someone and what they are saying becomes less important than their body movments. I find it difficult not to ruminate on
that later in the evening when I am home. And, the ruminations will bring out my anger which I understand is from having been traumatized.
Whether it is experiencing trauma as a child or as an adult, in my opinion it gives an individual a sense of "there was no one their to help me!" I
struggle with that feeling of why someone didn't help me at the time. It has taken awhile for me to understand that in a dysfunctional household,
everyone has been traumatized in some way and because of that they may have felt the same way as me......"well, why doesn't someone help me!"
It's like that feeling of treading water, but then I sink a bit and then I keep struggling to stay afloat and it keeps repeating itself.
I don't mean to imply that an individual should understand the perpetrators reasons or why their homes were dysfunctional. A person must take care
of their own needs first!!! There is a lot of "traumatic bonding" that each of us became indoctrinated to. However, each of us must break those
bonds in our own way because they are not bonds based on love.
These bonds were based on a child's trust of a parent, sibling, relatives, perhaps a neighbor, And, the adult or older person then oneself.... that
trust was violated because the perpertrators were meeting their own warped and deranged mentality that they had succumbed to.
Each person needs to move forward in their own way and at their own speed in order to free oneself from the chains of traumatic abuse.
Various suggestions that individuals have made do help in the process of freeing ourselves. My most difficult trigger is when I feel threatened in a
situation where someone is trying to exerce their so-called authority over me. I am fine and do well in the situation. It is within two weeks after
the indicent that I slip into what I call "a bout." I am working on a way to feel less threatened in order to feel safe and, yet at the same time,
not be a doormat or a pushover for someone with cruel intentions.
I guess I've said enough for now. Best of Luck to anyone who is struggling with PTSD!!!
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reply to post by Rubyteacup
Hi there and thanks for sharing! 
I have had a bad week but have made one very big step towards dealing with this:
I finally found the courage to report the incidents to the Police and have filed a report. It is now being investigated
Many years ago, I wanted to prosecute but the Laws prevented it. That Law is now repealed and so I can now do this
I now can't believe I actually walked into the Police Station and commenced legal proceedings. It has brought with it horrible memories.
My Family are being incredibly supportive. They have all said they will go through this with me. It is hard for them too and this isn't something
that anyone has wanted to deal with so when I pushed forward, I didn't expect to be overwhelmed with their support.
Anyway, early days for me. Not sure how I will cope but in some ways I feel it will be closure for me.
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