Originally posted by DaddyBare
Look not only am I a combat VET but I'm also the parent of a Murdered child!!! poor little guy took a shotgun blast to the belly...bleed to death in
trust me when I say I'm up close and personal with PTSD...
nightmares flash backs hate anger fear worry guilt hell you get it all sometimes all at once...
after my son was killed I didn't hardly talk to anyone for a whole year...
Thank you for sharing.
Life sucks at times, it really does. Especially when I read things like this. For me, I had dealt with my the majority of my trauma I experienced as
a child through many years of regression therapy. I got to a place where I was 'relatively stable' and I was able to function. It is always there
but I 'functioned'; there is always a possibility for another flashback to come along and disrupt that function, but I hadn't had one for a long
time. And I knew that if one came along, then I knew where to go to deal with it, but...
When I had the car accident, I had to deal with a new set of issues. Another shock to my system. You have had the experiences of war to deal with.
Perhaps you reached a level of 'functioning' but when another shock comes along, it compounds everything. It is all too much. Of course you would
isolate yourself and not talk to anyone. Typical symptom of PTSD = withdrawing from life/relationships.
now doctors are a joke first thing they want to do is load you up with every kind of drug there is....
Well, at the age of 14 a Doctor prescribed me valium. My Mum didn't want me to take them and I can't remember how long I was on them for, (perhaps
a year) but I know soon after that I found alcohol. Now I was not a legal age to drink but as if that makes any difference. I stopped taking valium
and drank alcohol. And the irony of that is, both are 'blockers'.
I saw things as a young adult that I think saved me from just taking whatever a Doctor prescribed. It is perhaps my saving grace. My Sister did not
survive our childhood. She started having big problems around this time and was institutionalised. Because she was a danger to herself the State
took Gaurdianship of her. We could do nothing at the time and it probably seems mean, but I didn't want to know. At that time, I couldn't deal
with her problems as they magnified my own.
Later, my Regression therapist suggested I take medication to alieviate the intensity of my state. I got very angry with that and told her I would
not take anything again. You see, once my Sister was in the system, they pumped her full of medicines, really heavy duty stuff. The State also gave
her several doses of electric shock therapy. It was horrifying to see how the State deals with 'mental illness'.
Well, quite simply, once you take some of these synthetic drugs you can never come off them again. My Sister was misdiagnosed. Under the State, she
hardly saw the same Doctor twice. She had been labelled as Manic Depressant, then Schizophrenic... pathetic when you consider that her symptoms were
atypical of 'sexual abuse'. Not once did anyone recommend counselling or regression.
She is out of the System now and doing as well as she can, but she has to take medication for the rest of her life. So, because of this, I will not
trust a Doctor or any pills they may prescribe. I sought the holistic path and it has or it is, helping.
the only thing that ever helped me was "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)" learn to do the tapping method....
Is this a way of avoiding 'triggers'? I haven't heard of EMDR. My Sister lost her sight completely at the age of ten. She was severly visually
impaired as a child. So, I guess because of that, the EMDR wouldn't have helped.
I rely on the 'count' method. If anything happens, I have 10 seconds in which to chose a response. It was very difficult to do that but when I
feel that spiraling or build up sensation, I hesitate or pause it and try to chose how I will react. I also have a 'support' friend.
'Triggers' sometimes come out of nowhere though and when that happens, I just feel anxious on a scale of ten and well, I am in it and it is hard to
find out what happened for me to be like that.
eg: I was going out with one of my male friends and whilst I was driving, he reached over and touched my hair. From that point on, I was angry. I
tried to bury it, yanno? I cancelled lunch abrubtly, said I had to go somewhere urgently. I dropped him off and went straight to a friends house.
By the time I got there, I was in such a state. She opens the door and I just say distressed "something is wrong and I don't know what it is".
She calms me down and I tell her what happened. She then comes over and starts touching my hair and just out of nowhere, I yell out "Don't touch my
(swear) hair!" and I burst into tears. When he touched my hair it brought back memories of other experiences I did not like to remember. I
remembered that and now my friends joke about it and say "Nat is fine, just don't touch her hair!" LOL so 'triggers' if you have support, when
they arise you can work through it but I do feel you need someone to help with it.
if your wondering both events were a lot of years ago and yes I'm still a bit messed up but I would have been a heck of a lot worse if I let
the docs do the drugged up stupor they first planed
Well, even though your events happened years ago, at times your still in it, like it is happening now. I am happy for you that you have not become a
'drugged up stupor'... do you have a therapist to talk to? Counselling?
How do you cope?
[edit on 14-4-2008 by Thurisaz]