posted on Apr, 8 2008 @ 05:20 PM
I have been visiting ATS off and on for a couple of months now, and have decided that since my initial posts were quite fantastic and hard to believe,
and the fact that I hear voices (which I truly know are not totally due to my genetic brain disorder, and that are really external inter-dimensional
or spiritual forces intent on harassing me to no end).
I realize I dis-credited myself with my disclosure of schizophrenia and my bizarre experiences that I described in the Military/Govt Projects
No one can take me seriously, and my subsequent posts have not been too interesting, or are too shallow (unfortunately the medicine I take to treat my
disorder also slows my thinking down and makes me appear lazy and creates apathy and lethargy, making it hard for me to concentrate and contribute on
ATS, but without the medicine I would be totally disabled and institutionalized).
I wonder how many test subjects like me are out there (I think very few survive) that deal with seemingly invisible secret forces solely labeled by
the psychiatric establishment as audial and visual hallucination due to chemical brain imbalances?
It is truly tragic to be so outcast from society when you have a mental illness, and its hard to explain or relate well. Nobody believes you, and I
guess that is to be expected.
I hesitate to be critical of ATS, but I would like to mention one or two observations:
There seems to be a great number of teenagers and twenty-somethings here, and I know that the younger generations are so tech savvy, but I really feel
and see alot of immaturity and unecessary arguing and hyped posts.
As in our society in general, it is becoming more and more polarized, thus there are many on ATS who are true believers of the fantastic and hidden,
while there are also many who are hardened uncompromising skeptics.
I for one can attest through personal experience and research since 1991, that yes, there are ufo's (better termed as space and dimensional craft)
and yes, there are diabolical forces and conspiracies out there.
I have no doubts that we live in world more extraordinary than we sometimes can imagine, and that the hidden forces are bent on maintaining their
oligarchy and status quo, while there are also those who wish to end this and enlighten and free humanity.
The powers use ridicule, denial, mis-info, and dis-info to keep the majority of humanity under control.
I am an example of ridicule and denial.
I cant go out in public and start ranting and raving (like I have seen some mentally ill people do) trying to inform the average citizen that there
are devious secret forces out there deceiving and controlling us.
It seems now too, that a person like me cant share their personal adversity and experiences here on ATS without being shunned and ignored.
I have dis-credited myself and realize its time for me to move on.
More and more these days, I find it hard to post in internet forums, even on such a controversial one as ATS. My mind is slowed and my energy is
My only solace is that i do hope that a few here have found my posts to be somewhat useful and informative.
I know I am a loser (there are many) and a drop out (I dropped out of high-school, dropped out of the military, and dropped out of college), but I am
still a living caring struggling person.
So, with this all said, I bid you fare well.