My girlfriend wants to be a stripper...

:shk: I would be afraid of what the cat would drag back in the house. Criminals frequent those establishments more than any nice guy at a bachelor party would. Some guys, especially gang bangers wont take no for an answer. I think I would feel more or less bad for your girlfriend if you agreed with her on this one. That kind of job can bring more grief than one would want in a humble abode.

Originally posted by Perfectenemy05
My girlfriend of 4 years is talking about becoming a stripper. We had always talked about it because of crazy amounts of money should could quite possibly make. She is ok with it, and I am about 90% of with it.

What do you guys think? Would you ever let your significant other partake something like that? We are not hurting for money, but she goes to school, and currently works full-time and is totally stressed constantly. This is a job where she (and I) could live with more money in our pockets, and she could make her own hours, be in great shape, and raise her confidence.

Let me know what you guys think.

[edit on 8-4-2008 by Perfectenemy05]

This is coming from a "stripper," I prefer exotic dancer..lol

If you are not 100% ok with it and she is just ok with it then I would say NO. There is a lot more to this industry than you think. I have been doing this on and off for 10 years. I have put myself through school but if I could change it I would. I have seen peoples relationships get ruined over jealousy. I have been in relationships where the guy was fine in the beginning and then later on they changed their mind.
The money isnt all it's cracked up to be either. With the economy the way it has been lately we are not making the money you think we would make. I work 6 days a week and that averages out to about 60 hours a week. I use to make about 400 a day and now I am lucky if I make 100. I have had many many days where I make 20 bucks and that will stress you out even more.
My bf who is wonderful worked in the industry so he knows what is going on and I have nothing to worry about with him and vice versa.
Yes it can keep you in shape and boost self esteem but it can also hurt you. I am constantly defending myself against stereo-types which makes me question my own job at times. I am almost done with school and I worry that this will come back to haunt me one day. I personally have no problem dancing but society tends to look down on us and that does bother me. If people only knew how wonderful the girls I work with are they would change their mind.
All I am saying is really think about it and both of you have to be 100% ok with it otherwise it might not work out like you thought. I dont think there is anything wrong with it but it is a hard industry to work in.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Originally posted by inregardstoo
:shk: I would be afraid of what the cat would drag back in the house. Criminals frequent those establishments more than any nice guy at a bachelor party would. Some guys, especially gang bangers wont take no for an answer. I think I would feel more or less bad for your girlfriend if you agreed with her on this one. That kind of job can bring more grief than one would want in a humble abode.

Um where do you get your sources from? You are perpetuating a stereo-type here! Gangbangers wont take no for an answer?! HA not so much. Yeah I have had more problems from bachelor party guys than anything ever! There were more criminals at my telemarketing job than at any club I worked at. The majority of the people I see in the clubs I have worked in are normal everyday business types.

Originally posted by Crakeur
it takes a certain type of person to be able to handle this. think of what she'll be doing every night. think of the guys who will be trying to win her affection with cash, think of the sugar daddy wannabes. think of the drug use that goes on in these clubs. think of the VIP room aspect - anything goes.

As a dancer the whole VIP room anything goes this is not true! Clubs have very strict rules on these rooms. If a club does allow that then that is not one to be in period. As for the drug use, I saw more drugs going around at the more regular jobs I had than in the club. Again they have very strict rules about this. All the clubs I have worked at have random locker searches, drug dogs (yes dogs come in) and cameras in the dressing rooms to prevent such behavior. The owner doesnt want to lose their business or go to jail. These are the stereo-types I deal with daily. I would never expect anyone to understand fully unless they have worked as a dancer for any length of time. Being a patron in one does not count.

Sorry if I sound rude this is just a topic I take to heart being that I do it. I am a very smart, outgoing and independent person and I get annoyed when people make statements about something they dont fully understand.

reply to post by Perfectenemy05


Years ago,the Wife of one of My friends was a stripper. She was gorgeous and made a lot of money! She gave it up after She became pregnant. She made a whole lot more than My friend(He was the head of Electronics in a Target store),so My friend put up with it

Originally posted by LateApexer313
I think that you should be scared that your girlfriend even wants to do this. How did it come up? Just from the money aspect of it? Has she been fantasizing about it?

Sounds like big trouble looming on your horizon, I sure hope not for your sake, but if I were you, I'd try to talk her out of it.

Crackeur brought up some great points and those are probably just the tip of the iceberg.

There are going to be "after hour" parties. She's going to want to hang out with her new stripper gf's and bar hop, it's a train wreck waiting to happen IMO.

LateApexer313 is spot-on, I can't agree enough. Having fun at home is a huge difference from in public. Hey, who knows, she might get stage fright and not be able to do it after all.

I've been around too long, seen this & that. There are a lot of females that have to put up with major arsehole bosses just to keep their tip job at a diner or restaurant. Some guys can't keep their hands to themselves. I can't imagine strip club owners are going to be following a high moral path in life.

Back when I use to go see the pigs wiggle I learned that many of the girls have grown to completely hate men, are dealing with tough situations in life and have easy access to drugs and more easy money.

Best of luck to you my friend. Hate to say this but knowing what little I know now, if I were you I'd be moving on.

The old saying goes like this... " If you dance with the Devil, The Devil changes you... You dont change the Devil.."

If your happy with the way things are why would this even be a consideration? Also if your ok with your girlfriend doing this, why didnt you post pics of her here?

reply to post by 5StarOracle


If you DO post pics, just be mindful of the Terms and Conditions.

Personally, when I was in a college, I knew a few exotic dancers (not in that way, but they were acquaintances). I used to work in an electronics department, late at night (graveyard shift), so they'd often come in to buy music for their routines, and we'd talk. All the gals I met always seemed very polite, seemed like nice girls, not at all like you'd imagine the stereotype. They all had plans too, they were working through school, or had kids young, etc. that needed to go to good schools, etc.

I've never been a prude (and I still find the human obsession with nudity pretty absurd), but I'm sure these girls put up with a lot of crap from some guys. In the final analysis, we're all human, and should see each other that way.

I dated a dancer off and on for the last two years and I'd say its probably not a good idea. While there is money for girls to make most get most of their tips from lap dances(not cool for my g/f to do imo) vs dancing on stage(not a big deal for me) and those who make good money are good a hustling guys and getting those extra lap dances. There a few bikini bars and such that are somewhat respectable but for the most part those establishments are full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and 'Johns'. Not to mention an very alarming number of strippers have serious drug problems and not exactly the kind of crowd a respectable person needs to be associating with.

My biggest gripe with the industry is it run by men who charge the girls outrageous amounts to 'earn' money at their club. You would think the super expensive drinks could float the establishment and the bouncers could bank on door fees alone but often require the girls to pay the bouncers, the house, and the DJs as well as 'fines' for being late, taking a day off, leaving early, ect.. A girl may get $500 in tips but the club will tell her she owes $200 of that for being there.

Also those establishments, depending on where you live are often the target of police raids and your girlfriend can get arrested for lewd and lascivious acts, nudity, drug possession(often dealers will give the girls an extra tip in a wadded up dollar bill, so she can unknowingly have drugs on her during a raid) just for going to work.

I'd recommend that you talk her out of it.

20 bucks say they ain't together

Im sure you are right. Are singles ok, don't wanna break a Jackson.

Yes I know this thread is old. However sometimes thing deserve being revisited.

Originally posted by Perfectenemy05
And stop asking for her picture...for crying out loud

1. Start a thread asking about opinions of girlfriend becoming stripper.
2. Get upset when people ask to see her photo.

Yep, sounds like it will work out well.

Originally posted by Lysergic
20 bucks say they ain't together

I would say you are most likely correct. I would wager though that either before the break up or shortly after she perused her "dream" of becoming a piece of meat.


From a male stand point I can say some things go on in clubs that are not supposed to take place. It depends on the owner and the location, as well as the "ladies" working there. When I was younger I worked in the club different positions ending with bartender assistant manager. I also "dated" (if that is even an accurate word for it) many of the "ladies" who worked there. It was a bit of a dream for a young horny guy I guess; I had endless booze and women.

Even if you are not the one taking your clothes off things can change for you. There is something dark about much of the club life and it tends to stain what it touches. Sure there are some respectable women out there, however they are far and few.

I can only give firsthand account, to any asking this same question now though I say do not do it. If she insists find someone else and move on. Nothing good will come of this unless you have an already different relationship. Money can sway and tempt a lot of people, even more so now that times are tough for many.

Most of the girls in the club I worked did drink and some used drugs. All of them aside from one either had kids or were pregnant. Only one of them was in or stayed in a steady relationship and they were married but were swingers. Several of them did outside parties were anything goes (basically they were hookers). Many were also very easy (for lack of a better word). As I said I "dated" many of them, it was not hard to get to know them better. It was like the place oozed sex.

Like I said it changes everyone involved. The places stain people.

Raist

Originally posted by Raist

From a male stand point I can say some things go on in clubs that are not supposed to take place. It depends on the owner and the location, as well as the "ladies" working there. When I was younger I worked in the club different positions ending with bartender assistant manager. I also "dated" (if that is even an accurate word for it) many of the "ladies" who worked there. It was a bit of a dream for a young horny guy I guess; I had endless booze and women.

Ha I remember this thread....well as a "dancer" I agree with you. It is very different depending on where you are. I have seen it all and know what cities and even states to never dance in. Right now it's a job, which I don't like, but it pays the bills while I continue looking for something "normal." I got laid off three years ago and have been looking ever since. It's frustrating!

Even if you are not the one taking your clothes off things can change for you. There is something dark about much of the club life and it tends to stain what it touches. Sure there are some respectable women out there, however they are far and few.

Again very true. I have seen a lot of people change in this business. They weren't dancers but bar staff or security and a friend of mine who went from door guy to popular club owner. He did a 360 when he got money and I didn't like him after that... For a young guy working in a strip club is like a dream to those who never got any previously. It amazes me how easily swayed some are in this business over money. I have danced on and off for years and I never really liked it, it was a job. I am one of those that hasn't been "tainted" by it. I know my boundaries and I could careless about money, it changes people. I make my money off of being me, same as I am on here and people like it. I don't try to be something I am not even at work. People are usually surprised by the conversations they have with me but it keeps them coming back. A lot of these women don't realize if they used the brains they have they would do so much better. Most feel they have to dumb it down and really you don't....ok sorry went on a slight rant but not a bad one lol

I can only give firsthand account, to any asking this same question now though I say do not do it. If she insists find someone else and move on. Nothing good will come of this unless you have an already different relationship. Money can sway and tempt a lot of people, even more so now that times are tough for many.

It is a completely different time and people will do anything now it seems for money and the new crop of girls are the worst. New, never danced and think they have to be a "Bad Girl" to make money. It's ridiculous and I've seen many get ruined. I would tell any girl right now to not even think about it. It's not what it was years ago and it eats you alive quicker. I do work with many girls who are not in this situation and are just like me. It's hard when you are considered a "good girl" to deal with the new crop who have zero respect for anyone, no matter the gender or position.

I have seen many relationships get ruined because the gf started dancing. It takes a certain kind of guy to date a dancer, believe me I know. I have had a few bfs who couldnt handle it and it caused problems later on but I quit. Right now it's very difficult to quit and find a job because the market is so bad for jobs. My bf now is very understanding and knows it is nothing more than a job. He knows I am out there looking but it bothers me more than it bothers him. He knows how I feel about it. I would take any job right now!

Most of the girls in the club I worked did drink and some used drugs. All of them aside from one either had kids or were pregnant. Only one of them was in or stayed in a steady relationship and they were married but were swingers. Several of them did outside parties were anything goes (basically they were hookers). Many were also very easy (for lack of a better word). As I said I "dated" many of them, it was not hard to get to know them better. It was like the place oozed sex.

Yup I have worked at places with girls of all those types lol I am told I am rare. Im 32, never married and no kids. I do have a steady bf though and I am very open that I have one. I don't lie about it because imo it is wrong. I feel like I'm cheapening our relationship by telling men I am single when I am not. Guys always tell me they like how I was honest about it. You dont have to make guys think you are single to make money! I actually get asked for advice a lot from guys about their gf's or wives. It is weird and some times i feel like a psychiatrist while at work but I dont mind I like being able to help out and many come back to tell me how things went and some have even brought their spouses in there to meet me. LOL So yeah, I am not your average dancer but the things you mention do go on but not everywhere, again it is usually about location. Most of the girls I work with are married with kids and their husbands work and I have worked places where the girls supported their loser unemployed bf's lol...

Like I said it changes everyone involved. The places stain people.

Raist

Yes it does but it doesn't have to be a bad change. It just depends on how easily influenced you are by others and most of all money. I am happy with the things I have I don't need anything else.

reply to post by mblahnikluver


I admit it changed me, well just added to what I already was maybe by increasing it.

I admit I was a bit of a partier yet still worked on being the nice guy prior to working there. Had plenty of girlfriends with relationships, not just the "dating" that happened in the club. I learned to use my nice guy use of words to get what I wanted instantly from the "ladies" working there. In a sense I was not much different from them and how they were with the guys. I do not know any of those girls who were honest about being with someone (not like it mattered it never lasted anyway). That said it did not take much to get these girls to like you.

I hate to sound cliché but it is like the saying goes that their fathers must not have loved them enough and in a few cases too much (not in the good way).

After I left there I continued on with what I learned there and used it in other places. I learned to spot those that would become "friendly" very quick. Later I met my wife though and spent more time chasing her than any other I had met. So I did change back, to a degree.

I say that because I am sure I still carry with me certain psychological things.

I also want to point out (to anyone reading this) that this is just my experience. I am not saying all strippers are like this just all of them I have met, in several different clubs in this area.

Raist