The Funny Things Kids Say

I don't know about you, but my kids are hilarious sometimes. They never seem to stop amazing me with the funny things they say and do.
My 9 year old son and I were just watching a couple of commercials, the first one that credit.com one where the guy raps to the fact that he didnt watch his credit so now he and his posse are driving off the used car lot w/ a used compact (all hoop ride looking) all the while bobbing his head back and forth kind of Egyptian like.
And then another comes on with some 40ish guys on the beach w/ their boards and bragging about using grecian slightly grey hair color, all the while bobbing their heads in the same manner and my son says "God mom do all older guys get restless neck syndrome?" I lost it, tears rolling I told him no that's just what they think makes them look younger and cool.
They give me a hard time when I say things like cool and so I say well what am I supposed to say? And when they tell me stuff like sweet and sick, they just fall out laughing at me for not saying it right.
I hope that you too have such fun at your own expense w/ your kids because really they are just a blast to be with. Tell me what funny things yours say and do , I would love to hear your stories God only knows I have a ton.
One more, when my 13 year old was about 2 1/2 we went for a walk looking for interesting rocks, he comes running up proud as can be at the 'big' wrock he had found and when I saw it I yelled, "Put the cow poop down!"

reply to post by antar

"Put the cow poop down!"

My kids say the darndest things too, but my four year old daughter, is usually the one who really takes the cake. She loves to ham it up.She loves, to say "Mommy you are so silly, I love you"
But whenever she says or does something funny, I'll bust a gut laughing, and she will just stand there with her hands on her hips.."Mommy What's so funny!?"
And it makes me laugh even more. She keeps saying it over and over and I keep laughing.
Then she'll say.."Oh mommy you are so weird" and walk away shaking her head, and by that point Iam on the floor doubled over.

My 15yr old son recently had a substitute teacher.
He comes home from school and tells me this tale of what happened.

He asked her....are you from South Africa?

She answers....yes

He says, jokingly...see, i'm pyschic aren't i.

She says...are you?

He say, ...yes

Now...apparently, SHE meant....are YOU from South Africa too. HE thought she meant...are you psychic....but when her next question was:

"which part are you from?"

instead of admitting that he had misunderstood....he answered:

"Cape town"

this carrried on,

"Thats a really nice place"

"I know"

"I'm from....(somewhere else)"

"Oh, i dont know that area"

i just thought that was really funny. I asked him, when you realised, why didn;t you just say...."oh, i thought you meant..."....he said..."i just opened my mouth and Cape Town came out"

LOL geek101...that reminds me of an incident with my teenage son a few months back. We pulled into our local gas station and my son was in the passenger seat eating french fries. The attendant at this station is a really nice polite guy, but not from Canada. He has a really thick accent and only after talking to him for the past year or so whenever I get gas, can I understand him perfectly. Unfortunately my son, can't!

So the guy is making small talk with my son, and asks "what's your name?" My son thought he said "what are you eating" and answered "fries". OH MY GOD, I almost DIED when the man said "oh hello fries, nice to meet you" in his very thick accent.

My son stopped in mid chew, looked at me with big wide panic stricken eyes, and I was almost swallowing my tongue trying not to laugh out loud. When the guy went inside to get my change my son said "mom...I walk past this gas station everyday with all my friends...this guy is going to be yelling out 'FRIES!...HEY FRIES!!! HI FRIES!!!' what am I going to do??!!

I didn't stop laughing until we were almost home and my son was horrified. He now takes the long way to school LMAO!

My kids too come out with the darndest things everyday. There was an incident at the grocery store with my middle son. He was 7 at the time and he's hearing impaired. We didn't know about the hearing loss until he was almost 5, so never taught him sign language. The teller at the grocery store noticed his hearing aid, and immediately starts signing to him. He's staring at her like she's grown a second head and she's not realizing that he has NO clue what she's doing. She turns to me and explains that her own son is profoundly deaf. She then does the oddest thing I've ever seen from someone with experience with deaf and/or hard of hearing people. She starts talking VERY loudly and slowly to my son. My son is starting to look uncomfortable and everyone in the grocery store is staring at us. I explain to her that he has great hearing with his hearing aid and that she can speak to him normally. My son overhears this and says to her "OHHHH you thought I was stupid, not death"

First of all, it was funny he used the word death, instead of deaf. But the statement itself was just hilarious!!! He was now looking at HER like he felt sorry for HER for misunderstanding, and she was looking very sheepish. I loved it!

The second favourite one was on the bus. My two youngest were 2 and 3 at the time. We sat down in our seat and a lady got on a few stops later with some kind of faux fur coat. My kids were staring at her for a few minutes and the youngest said "mommy look at that lady!" and the 3 year old said "that's not a lady, that's a dog silly" The old man across from us snickered for the next 10 minutes and I tried my best to drain the redness from my face!

Michelle

those were brilliant....roflmao.....just brilliant...especially the "fries" one....lol

I could just imagine your son realising the mistake...and not being able to correct it.

Just a couple more "kids misunderstanding common phrases".

We heard a few years back , my son (then about 6) say...."Yusuf, we have a problem" (apparently he thought thats what they said in the film Armageddon (Houston, we have a problem)

My daughter when she was about 4, used to say "Jesus Cakes", instead of Jesus Christ.

And i once heard my son when he was little explaining to his younger brother about how God made things:

"He just says "V" and it is" (we figured this came from "God just says "Be")

I love that last one, especially now cos he's 17 and i can make fun of him...lol


edit to say....cannot stop laughing at that fries one, thats really funny. Don't you love kids for stuff like this...so much joy :-)

[edit on 8-4-2008 by geek101]

A few years ago now when my niece was 8, she came home from school and she was talking to me about her new substitue teacher that she had...

She said that she was very nice and kind however, she smelt a bit like toothpaste and she had a "tupperware" leg... The teacher had a prosthetic.

lol these are great. I'm surprised there aren't tons more. Kids are always amusing!

A couple of years back my daughter, (who is 6 now) was in pre-K. This little boy came up to her and just to be like little boys, said, "You're really ugly!" Instead of getting really upset and crying, she puts her hands on her hips and says, "Well you're no prize peach yourself!" HA HA!

The teacher called to tell me she had to put them both in timeout and that even though she found my daughters statement to be entirely humorous, she still had to punish her. lol

Ahhh.... kids truly do brighten up the world.

When my nephew was about 5 years old I took him out for a play day. We decided to stop by a 7-11 for something to drink as it was a nice hot summer day. In line in front of us was a big, mean looking Hells Angels dude, he looks down at my nephew and says hello to where my nephew replies "You're cool!!....NOT" the biker smiles at him then looks at me with this unimpressed look. I could only reply with a shrug and a smile saying "kids say the damndest things"

I thought I was going to get rolled in the parking lot.

When my son was 4 I tried getting him to eat his malt-o-meal. I brought the spoon up to his mouth and said, "open up". He put his hand over his mouth and mumbled, "sorry, we're closed today".

He's always had a healthy self-esteem. When I was teaching him the alphabet, I asked, "can you say your A-B-C's now?" He nodded confidently and said, "yes, I can cuz I'm a knowable boy."

We were driving into town to do some errands and he said, "get me something to eat!" Addressing his abrupt tone, his grown brother said, "you've got a lot of charm." The younger son retorted, "no I don't! I don't have anything to eat!" lol When we got home I made him some chicken which he ate with gusto saying, "this is splendid". (He was five)

In trying to teach him the concept of charity, I explained that not all little boys have clean clothes or enough food or cozy pillows and warm beds or fun toys. I said, "aren't you glad you have all those things? Aren't you thankful?" He considered for a moment then replied, "I'm thankful you have a JOB."

When he was 7 the 2 of us went camping. I took the scenic route to our destination which meant about a 3 hour drive. He kept asking if we were getting close and "are we there yet?" Finally, in exasperation, he threw up his hands and exclaimed, "Mom! You've been driving so long we've travelled back in time!"

He's a delight and keeps my outlook on life fresh.

I have to bump this after what happened last night.

Our six year old came into our bedroom and asked, 'Daddy, what is a fox?' He knows what it is but just likes to make sure we know and has a habit of asking questions he knows the answer to.

My husband replies, 'Your mother. She's a fox.' I was just about to thank my husband for saying something so sweet but without missing a beat or realizing he was being funny, my son fired back, 'No, Daddy. I said fox not ox.'

From the mouth of babes.

[edit on 2/23/2010 by AshleyD]

reply to post by AshleyD


Did you him?

AshleyD, that's hilarious!

On one of my birthdays a few years ago I muttered something about "getting old" and my son, bless his heart, tried to comfort me. He laid his hand on my arm, looked soulfully into my eyes and said, "mom, you're not old. women don't get old-they mature.........and then they turn to dust".:shk:

*he was so close to making me feel better but he just couldn't leave it alone* :bnghd:

lol. All your guyses are so funny. I wish i had some stories of my own.. But still being a kid, i dont really have any. It might just be my memory not being good right now(lack of sleep), but i dont remember doing or saying anything humorous as your stories. If this site is still up , and this thread still exists when i have kids, which could be a while since i am 16, i will find this thread and i will post some funny stories.

reply to post by AshleyD


Ashley, I actually spit out my juice unto my laptop on your story. For that you get a non existent star, but for sharing that you get my utmost respect.

Thanks for sharing that...

reply to post by AshleyD


HA! HA! HA! That's hilarious. I love kids so much. Mine have reached the "creepy" age now. They don't wake me up with noise or anything. They simply choose to stand right beside me until I open my eyes. I prefer the old days of them jumping on me. lol

Thanks for sharing! I'm still laughing. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Originally posted by AccessDenied
reply to post by antar

 

"Put the cow poop down!"

My kids say the darndest things too, but my four year old daughter, is usually the one who really takes the cake. She loves to ham it up.She loves, to say "Mommy you are so silly, I love you"
But whenever she says or does something funny, I'll bust a gut laughing, and she will just stand there with her hands on her hips.."Mommy What's so funny!?"
And it makes me laugh even more. She keeps saying it over and over and I keep laughing.
Then she'll say.."Oh mommy you are so weird" and walk away shaking her head, and by that point Iam on the floor doubled over.

My neice does nearly the same thing, always gets me too.

The other day we were eating dinner and my four year old announces non-chalantly like he was giving the weather: " I want a talking kangaroo."

I was like: where in the heck did that come from?