Tell Me a Joke!

Originally posted by fmcanarney
What is the difference between:

1. a rich man and a poor man?
a rich man has a canopy over his bed
2. a snake and a goose?
a snake is an asp in the grass
3. humor and odor?
humor is a shift of wit
4. a doctor and God?
God does not ever think he is a Doctor
5. a brown nose and ring around the collar?
depth perception
6. a band of Australian aboriginies and a girls track team?
not appropriate for prime time production
7.

Originally posted by ImJaded
ahhh you might like this one too -


Three men are captured my cannibals. 1 German, 1 French, and 1 Amercian. The chief said, "Due to our holiday, I shall grant each of you 1 wish, then you get whipped 30 times on the back, then you can go."

The German says, "I want a pillow strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps a pillow on the German's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 10th lash, the pillow gave out and the German walked off crying.

The French say, "I want 2 pillows strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps 2 pillows on the French's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 20th, last, the pillow gave out and the French walked off limping.

The chief says to the Amercian, "Since you are from a great country, I shall give you 2 wishes."
The Amercian says, "Thank you. For my first wish, I want not 30 lashes, but 100 lashes."
The chief says, "Not only do you come from a great country, you are noble too, what is your last wish?"

The Amercian replys, "Strap the frenchman to my back."

Love this joke!

No idea if this is to harsh but its true for Amsterdam:

Whats the difrence between a Sl*t and a B*tch......

The S*lut sleeps with everyone and a B*tch sleeps with everyone except you!

A blind man was on a street corner,begging with a tin cup he had his seeing eye dog with him,the dog lift's his leg and proceeds to pee on the man's leg,all the while a lady was sitting across the street on a bus bench waiting for her bus,the man pulls a dog bisquit out of his pocket and starts waving it towards the dog,the lady meanwhile is furious,she runs across the street and says"Why are you rewarding that dog,do you know what he did?",the blind man says"Yeah lady I'm trying to find which end his head is so I can kick him in the ass"

A group of primary school infants,accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in year four.''
"No,madam",he replied."I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15".

What do you get if you cross an insomniac,an agnostic and a dyslexic?



Someone who stays up all night wondering if theres a dog.

What goes:

Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG BANG Clip Clop Clip Clop?




An Amish Drive By Shooting!!!!

..

Semper

Your momma is so fat she tripped over k mart and landed on target!

Your momma so fat, that when she was in the alley at night, the cop passes by and says hey you 2 break it up!


lol.

There are 2 cannibals, they kill and capture a clown!
One looks to the other and says....
"Does this taste funny to you?"

Har har