It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Tell Me a Joke!

page: 2
2
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Aug, 20 2008 @ 10:41 PM
link   
reply to post by OldThinker
 


Nothing?




posted on Aug, 20 2008 @ 10:58 PM
link   
reply to post by Toy_soldier
 


Good job!

Yes, that's it

NOTHING!

Hey you are sharper than a bowling ball!

Thanks!



posted on Aug, 21 2008 @ 10:13 AM
link   
ATS-ers,

Here's another one...

Again I'll ask it, and wait for responses...

We'll here it is...

THE MAN WHO MADE IT DIDN'T WANT IT...

THE MAN WHO BOUGHT IT DIDN'T USE IT...and

THE MAN WHO USED IT DIDN'T KNOW IT...

What is it?

It begins with a 'C' and has 6 letters, and can be spelled 2 different ways...



posted on Aug, 21 2008 @ 10:14 AM
link   
reply to post by Odessy
 


is that boy running away from you because you wanted to bum him? because it certainly looks like it with the liquid light behind him.



posted on Aug, 21 2008 @ 01:15 PM
link   
There was this thin man who walked into a bar and saw a lady. He said..... wait, can't post that.


What do you get when you squeeze a hotdog in a..... wait, can't post that.


If you stick your middle finger in the air and say..... wait, can't post that.



Posting jokes on BTS is real hard. I'm gonna have to think for a few! :bnghd:



posted on Aug, 25 2008 @ 05:25 PM
link   
reply to post by OldThinker
 


A Coffin



posted on Aug, 25 2008 @ 05:44 PM
link   
reply to post by Toy_soldier
 


or a C-A-S-K-E-T!

Good job again!!



posted on Sep, 9 2008 @ 12:15 PM
link   
It's not the greatest joke, but it get's reactions..

What do you do with a dog with no legs???


Take him out for a drag.....



hhahahah hahah



posted on Sep, 11 2008 @ 05:58 PM
link   
Who invented fractions?



Henry VIII



posted on Sep, 24 2008 @ 02:11 AM
link   
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with this best friend.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

His wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"



posted on Sep, 24 2008 @ 02:11 AM
link   
Double clicked. Sorry.

[edit on 24-9-2008 by Buck Division]



posted on Oct, 2 2008 @ 12:03 PM
link   
reply to post by Buck Division
 


Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping,in the middle of the night Sherlock Holmes wakes up,turns to Dr Watson and says
"Dr Watson,look up and tell me what you deduce".
"Well" he says "I see millions of stars and surrounding those stars must be earth like planets -therefore I deduce that there is life elsewhere in the universe".
Sherlock Holmes turns to him and says
"Watson you dick,the tents been nicked".

[edit on 02/10/08 by karl 12]



posted on Oct, 4 2008 @ 02:09 PM
link   
Some people are like a slinky, not really good for much, but pretty funny when they're pushed down the stairs.

Marriage is liking having cable TV that only gets one channel.

If a man says something in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

When I first got married I thought my wife was Hawaiian until I sobered up and realized that it was just that she was shaped like a pineapple.

The best thing my wife and I ever did in our marriage was to get separate bedrooms; mine is in New York and hers is in California.



posted on Oct, 5 2008 @ 12:12 AM
link   
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a new church in their neighborhood. The pastor said "We have special requirements for new parishioners. Before becoming a church member, you must abstain from having sex for two weeks!"

Two weeks later, the newlywed couple returns. The paster asks: "Were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

"No, pastor, we weren't able to make it", the young man replied sadly.

"What happened, my son?" inquired the pastor.

"Well, my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there!"

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" said the pastor sadly.

"We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Safeway anymore either."



posted on Oct, 5 2008 @ 05:22 PM
link   

Originally posted by IvoAlmeida
Read it fast please!

Olny srmat poelpe can.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn´t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.! Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!


That is amazing, I've read something similar before...but at the end where it says "Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!"

... I was stuck for a second at "rscheearch" why?

...Because it should be "rscheearcher"


Definately not a stickler too an extent for spelling but, it is strange what the brain can see.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, this isn't really a joke but I find it kinda cute (in a manly, blokish kinda way ofcourse
)

Two fish are in a tank,
The first fish turns too the second fish and says...
"You man the guns.......I'll drive!!!"

Fox.



posted on Oct, 8 2008 @ 02:12 PM
link   
Guy walks in to a bar with a turtle under his arm. The turtle looks like it has a black eye, one of its legs has a bandage on it and its shell is covered with duct tape.

Bartender says, "Wow, is your turtle OK?"

"Sure he's fine. In fact I'll bet you he can beat your dog in a race".

"No way", says the bartender.

"In fact I'll bet you $50 that he can beat your dog".

Bartender figures that this will be an easy $50 so he goes outside to get his dog.

"OK", the guy says, "you stand down there by that wall and when I say "go", you call your dog".

"Ready? Go".

The dog takes off for the bartender, guy reaches down, picks up the turtle and whips it toward the wall.

"I WIN" !!!



posted on Oct, 8 2008 @ 03:16 PM
link   
reply to post by Odessy
 



I got banned from the local swimming baths for life yesterday.

I was wearing my Speedo trunks.

How was I to know the S had fallen off.



posted on Oct, 9 2008 @ 07:40 PM
link   
What's the only type of Bee that can produce milk?


Answer: Boo-Bees (boobies)



posted on Oct, 12 2008 @ 09:03 AM
link   
What is the difference between:

1. a rich man and a poor man?

2. a snake and a goose?

3. humor and odor?

4. a doctor and God?

5. a brown nose and ring around the collar?

6. a band of Australian aboriginies and a girls track team?

7.



posted on Oct, 12 2008 @ 09:06 AM
link   
reply to post by OldThinker
 


coffin
casket



new topics

top topics



 
2
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join