posted on Apr, 8 2008 @ 02:08 AM
Here you go:
A burglar breaks into this fancy house one night. Prowling around, he came to the entertainment center, and quickly unplugged the DVD player.
As he was putting it into his bag, he suddenly hears a voice in the darkness behind him say' "Jesus, is watching you!" The man freaks, shut off his
flashlight and stays put.
After about about a minute or two pass he stats thinking "D#@n, I must be losing it! I need a vacation after this next score!" So, he turns his
light back on and proceeds to an expensive stereo stytem the he planned to steal next.
Just as he gets to it, he hears the voice again say, "Jesus, is watching you!" FReaked, he shines his light around the room until he spots the
parrot pearched in the corner.
"Was that you?" He asked the bird. "Yep," addmitted the bird, "I was just trying to warn you." "
Warn me? Well who are you?" He asked the bird.
"Moses." Came the parrot's reply.
Laughing, the burglar said "Moses? What the h##l kind fo people would name a parrot Moses?"
Without blinking, the bird replied, "Probaly the same kind of people that would name a 120 poud Rottweiler 'Jesus'"
And one more(I'm pretty sure this joke is ok to post here, but if the mods find it offensive or a violation of T&C in any way, feel free to delete as
This poor redneck with eight kids decides that he has too many, and couldn't afford anymore. So he jumps into hi truck and heads to the doctor's
"What can I help you?" Asked said the doc.
To which the redneck replies, "I've got eight kids, and me 'an the wife can't afford anymore. I'd like to know how much it costs to have a
"About five to six hundred dollars." Came the doctor's reply.
Indignant, the redneck shouts, "Five or six hundred dollars? H*#l doc, I ain't even jot fifty bucks."
"Well, there is a cheaper alternative, if your interested." The doctor said.
"Well, what is it?" The now calm redneck responded.
"Ok, first, take an empty beercan and a cherry bomb. Light the cherry bomb, drop it in the can, hold it up to your ear and count to ten."
Confused the redneck said, "How will that work?"
"Trust me," the doctor assured him, "it'll work"
So, when the redneck got home, he got a cherry bomb, a lighter and an enty beer can. Following the doctor's orders, he light the fuse, dropped it in
the beer can, held it up to his ear and started counting on his left hand, "one, two, three, four, five." At which point he stopped, placed the
beer can between his legs and started counting on his other hand, "six, seven............................"