Cruise+Valkryie= Refund Please!!!!

I recently attended a mega-private screening of Brian Singer's "propaganda" lets kill Hitler flick "Valkyrie" which is a desperate attempt for the German people to recover a last shred of human decency, for allowing such an wannabe anti-Christ as Adolph Hitler to rise to power and destroy the good name of the German people. More below-

SOURCE:

goldderby.latimes.com...

Tom Cruise's Oscar hopes dim for 'Valkyrie'?

Our first clue that "Valkyrie" might be a big, Nazi (stink) bomb came when it was saluted at the end of the last Razzie Awards ceremony as one of the pix most likely to be hailed next year.

Tom_cruise_valkyrie_1

Tom Cruise fans have been praying for the opposite, of course. Since the superstar is rather overdue for an Oscar, they hope he can be helped by portraying a real, heroic person in a World War II flick (think past winners Adrien Brody in "The Pianist" or William Holden in "Stalag 17") directed by a chap who got Kevin Spacey that Oscar in the supporting slot for "The Usual Suspects" (Bryan Singer).

Now Roger Friedman of FoxNews.com says that, contrary to recent reports, that very public lunch Tom Cruise had with Sumner Redstone last week wasn't a sign that the heartthrob's life is increasingly yummy.

"For one thing, sources tell me it was Cruise who called Redstone, not the other way around," Friedman says. "The fact that Cruise groveled in public with Redstone would indicate that the actor knows just how bad 'Valkyrie' is and that he’s trying to shore up his future before the eye patch hits the fan this fall.



CONTINUED DK3000 REVIEW

-I knew a few of the critics who couldn't wait to make a rope of words from hyperbole, politically correct-expletives, and disdain from which to hang Cruise with, so naturally, I was not surprised when they dashed out and away from the usual drink swigging vacuous executives, agents and assorted/related parasitic sycophants fleeing the aftermath of this cinematic holocaust!

As usual, the self-aggrandizing emptiness filled the room with hollow compliments praising no one, for no reason, with the utmost sincerity and well wishes at the box-office. Those who remained were really there for the booze and the models(hookers/prostitutes) to disguise the bad taste in everyone's mouth, this same ritual continues until you stumble, slur or nab a deal or a meeting from someone more inebriated than you- hoping beyond hope that their hang-over never wears off enough to cancel the meeting at the last minute on the promised date!

I prefer the suck-up opera (screening reception) to the actual movie because 95% of the time its more entertaining than the film itself- in an oddly sickening way.

Brian Singer knows how to make a movie or at least he used to. If you know how to make a movie you do not cast Tom Cruise if you want to be taken seriously- If Tom is part of the deal- then any serious film maker with credo and integrity would pass due to a very busy schedule of making real films.

Cruise delivers his usual gift of, not much with the same monotone vocal timber, in a vain effort to convince himself that; he is an artist with an Oscar to prove it- so you had better listen when he delivers his dialog as if there is no other actor (or anyone else for that matter) on the set. I just want to say to him; Tom- you had me at..."I don't think so". So unfortunately, like a Scientologist never giving up on a potential convert who stupidly agreed to take the personality test- Cruise remains throughout this horny epic digital propaganda flop. Cruise should kick David Miscaviage to the curb and make some real money without annoying the rest of us. Being that Cruise will not engage his feminine side for publicity reasons he runs in circles chasing his patriarchal tail making the rest of us dizzy not unlike "The Blair Witch Project", in all of his films.

While Cruise chews through everything including the scenery like a hungry dog- his better- mannered co-stars dine on this subject matter with proper utensils- hoping he will pick up the proper fork and sit at the table. With all of the examples around him he never seems to learn proper etiquette- which is why, I cannot help but wonder why he keeps getting invited!!

There is a preview trailer on the link provided and it does show Cruise's best moments- I can assure you it doesn't get any better than that(IMO). So take the free appetizer and wait for this dreck to show up on cable programming. Better yet- if you must see this - wait until it shows up in a "5 dollars for three movies" DVD bin at Walmart, Target or whevere else it is you pick up your corporate poison.

Don't get someone to pay for your "Valkyrie" movie ticket, because that's just mean!

Its bad enough that the German people were unable to de-throne Hitler- but to have Tom Cruise rub your failures in your face is plain hateful and unnecessary.

Cinematically this film is adequate at best with a sparsing of stunning moments. The supporting cast politely phone in their dialog reminding us all they too have to pay rent. Tom Wilkinson's insider tongue waggling is sheer perfection as he shows us all who can "see" he has a sense of humor in collecting his rent money without crapping on his co-stars!

(Kenneth Brannah- please learn how to do this- we saw Conspiracy and the lesson was from Stan Tucci and now from Wilkinson- please pick up this technique or next time I give you a review as an "aging Tom Cruise with a British accent!!!). I am pulling for Kenneth even though I saw "Dead Again" and forgot I could leave the before the movie ended.

One thing I did like about Cruise's character was the "eye-patch"- I just wished it was about 2 inches lower and 1 1/2 inches to the left!

[edit on 2-4-2008 by dk3000]

Caps lock title edit

[edit on 2-4-2008 by dbates]

Oh God, you are funny! We need you and your incredible humor on ATS! I am getting to know you pretty well and feel complimented by it.

On a serious point; I have been told that Germany renounces anything related to the Hitler Incident and does not allow anything relating to it into Germany. Also, that there is a propaganda machine going on there alluding or out right denouncing the whole Hitler thing to its young people? Some conspirators believe that Germany is setting up its young people to be conditioned to accept another possible leader like Hitler? Excuse me folks if this is incorrect. Please set this information right if it is not. But it is something that has been "going around!"

On a gossip note: (you and I both have Hollywood connections although admittedly - you have a lot more). Was Katie paid to be Tom Cruise's wife or not? Stop the rumor if it is incorrect.

Originally posted by MatrixProphet
Oh God, you are funny! We need you and your incredible humor on ATS! I am getting to know you pretty well and feel complimented by it.

On a serious point; I have been told that Germany renounces anything related to the Hitler Incident and does not allow anything relating to it into Germany. Also, that there is a propaganda machine going on there alluding or out right denouncing the whole Hitler thing to its young people? Some conspirators believe that Germany is setting up its young people to be conditioned to accept another possible leader like Hitler? Excuse me folks if this is incorrect. Please set this information right if it is not. But it is something that has been "going around!"

On a gossip note: (you and I both have Hollywood connections although admittedly - you have a lot more). Was Katie paid to be Tom Cruise's wife or not? Stop the rumor if it is incorrect.

First- there is a world-wide conspiracy that includes Germany. As to its validity in Germany I do not know except to say a few German based bloggers I am in touch with have said just this. As concerned as I am, Germany stands on its own- I am far more concerned with my country! My feeling is this- Happens once shame on the world happens twice with all that evidence- you got it coming. Clean it up or shut up!

With regards to Tom Cruise I will NOT confirm/deny anything other than his poor acting skills. I was privvy to the Cruise camp- once removed. Should something nefarious happen to me I want my executioner to be worthy. However- those in know will be revealing information to that effect very soon! I understand a whistleblower from China(?) is about to blow the lid off that one!

ALSO- please do not ask me if an actor is gay- I will never tell- even if I have slept them myself. In as much as I disagree with a gay actor bearding for heterosexual for many reasons- I have come to believe that arranged relationship (especially in Hollywood) are accepted by everyone involved- and therefore none of my business.

With rare exception homosexuality is clearly visible in chemistry between actor and actresses in every medium- this requires lots of experience and knowing the techniques. If anyone were to study acting with a real teacher (like Milton Katselas) and learned to pay "real" attention- with few exceptions (which are never the rule!) they would never have to wait for the tabloids to expose it as "gaydar" becomes 98% accurate!

PS- I do not stop rumors and nor do I start them. I report accurate truth based on my experiences.

[edit on 2-4-2008 by dk3000]

I will consider my hand - slapped! Everyone who knows me knows that I have very little interest in Hollywood. And I rarely pay attention to gossip, and quite frankly, I don't give a hoot who is gay!

reply to post by MatrixProphet


Not a hand slap just a heads up. Cruise has the gay stigma as it is- I merely wanted to stop rumorous crud before it got started.

Thank you to the MODS who moved this thread to the appropriate forum. Propaganda is a serious weapon- so hence I gave it my best shot!


Thank you!



[edit on 2-4-2008 by dk3000]

Wickedly funny review!!

An Oscar for Cruise!?!

And your comments on Branagh as an "aging Tom Cruise with a British accent" OMG!!

Brilliant!

Terrance Stamp and Tom Wilkinson?

It's disappointing to see them appearing in a Cruise film.

Directed by Brian Singer...hmmm....and Superman Returns was listed as being a credit to his resume?

He's got one good film to his credit, IMHO: The Usual Suspects.

Can't believe he's producing a sequel to the Superman dud.

Splendid review of a turkey, thanks for the heads up!

(Not that any film with Tom Cruise has been on my "to see" list since Risky Business)

Originally posted by goosdawg

Wickedly funny review!!

An Oscar for Cruise!?!

And your comments on Branagh as an "aging Tom Cruise with a British accent" OMG!!

Brilliant!

Terrance Stamp and Tom Wilkinson?

It's disappointing to see them appearing in a Cruise film.

Directed by Brian Singer...hmmm....and Superman Returns was listed as being a credit to his resume?

He's got one good film to his credit, IMHO: The Usual Suspects.

Can't believe he's producing a sequel to the Superman dud.

Splendid review of a turkey, thanks for the heads up!

(Not that any film with Tom Cruise has been on my "to see" list since Risky Business)

The only reason to see Risky Business (IMO) is Rebecca Demornay and listen to the Tangerine Dream Soundtrack!

reply to post by dk3000


That and it had one of Joe Pantoliano's early roles.

I've always enjoyed his bad guys.

Kind of like Steve Buscemi; consummate character actors.

Originally posted by goosdawg
reply to post by dk3000

 

That and it had one of Joe Pantoliano's early roles.

I've always enjoyed his bad guys.

Kind of like Steve Buscemi; consummate character actors.

Joey!!!!! I am seriously impressed. He is an amazing talent even though as the years goes by he looks more and more like he is related to Clint Howard. Soon he will share the looks of Steve Buscemi! These two guys can pull anything off! Can you imagine what a movie would be like starring both of these guys to today??????? They could sell themselves into beds of the worlds most beautiful women.

Very few character actors can do this.

Thanks for the review dk. I feel as though I just save myself some money. Keep them coming!!!

are you kidding me? save money? If I see one movie this summer it will be this one.

"when the SS get ahold of you they'll pull you apart like warm bread"

a line that cheesy and laughable needs to be heard in its proper setting. Big screen, big movie theater, surround sound in full effect.

Originally posted by Crakeur
are you kidding me? save money? If I see one movie this summer it will be this one.

"when the SS get ahold of you they'll pull you apart like warm bread"

a line that cheesy and laughable needs to be heard in its proper setting. Big screen, big movie theater, surround sound in full effect.

True and this is why home stereo surround sound theater's were invented- this way the rest of the public does not have to suffer our often twisted film-viewing guilty pleasures!

The good news is the theater you visit while screening this will likely be deserted so you can pretend you're at home. The only draw back is- when you are finally bored with torturing yourself- you wont be able to switch it back to porn