posted on Apr, 2 2008 @ 12:15 AM
Without a doubt, the bible in it's many shapes and forms is the most known book in History. Whether it be the fictional accounts of the Holy Bible,
the illogical accounts of the Koran, or the nationalists accounts of the Talmud, everyone can enjoy a little entertaining fiction every now and then -
at let's face it, there are a few morals that can be learned from these books, just like we can learn from reading Aesops Fables.
Written during a time where humanity was ignorant of nearly every true scientific principle, the first part in a two part series was created. Not able
to come up with a name, they called it "Book" or the Latin "Biblia." The Biblia, or Bible, is an epic tale that includes creation myths, war
stories, adventure, drama, comedy, soft core pornography, homosexuality, crime, and more so, history that is completely irrelevant.
The Christian fiction is divided into a two part series: The Old Testament, and the New Testament. Most scholars agree that the Old Testament is the
real original fiction, while most have come to the conclusion that the New Testament ventures so far from the original story, that it is merely a fan
fiction written later on my those who really enjoyed the stories, but wanted to put their own spin on it.
Now, the main character of the Old Testament is the almight God, who created the planet (they didn't know anything about nuclear fusion, supernova,
accresion disks, or planetary formation back them) in 6 days, then he rested - which is satire because God adheres to the pattern of Holy Days that
people have had in place for thousands of years. He created people - again, they had no idea about evolution and had no clue as to where life could
have started - so they figured it was made by something that nobody would ever see. Adam and Eve had the task of populating the world, which calls for
a lot of incest. Practically speaking, this would have had to make them child molestors in order to have enough time to populate the planet before
dying. We all know what happens in the real world when incest occurs. Later, we find that the Hero of the book (Every book needs a Hero) is a Jew
named David. He ends up defeating a major villian who is basically a giant, named Goliath. After that, he wins the prize of being King.
The Fan fiction was written by others to put a twist on the Story. The main Character here is Jesus, who is a manipulator of humanity. He's basically
the first recorded new age hippie. He preches love, peace, unity, and all the ideals that everyone and their mother know about, but it's been found
highly impractical to implement onto society. He's a hypocrite to boot, as he overturns tables and chairs at temple, and tells bankers to leave and
quit selling animals. He later pisses off the pagan Romans with his newagery obvious BS, because everybody knows there are infinate Gods, and you can
make up whatever you feel like - but no, Jesus was telling everybody that his God was the only one. He was being obnoxious and pretty imposing, so
they nailed him to a cross and he died as a criminal. The same thing would probably happen if he was actually real and alive today, except he'd be
put in a mental hospital and injected full of medication.
Some time after Jesus died, Paul of Tarsus started his authorship, and even Constantine found that he really enjoyed the book. He promoted it
throughout Rome, but he also rejected parts of it he didn't particularly like - like the Gnostic Gospels. Still later, King James had to add some
stuff, and take other stuff own - he even put his name on his version of Fan Fiction. Some people who have translated it have added their own little
easter eggs to the story, and Thomas Jefferson even made his own fan fiction, completely removing the miracles.
In short, I've read Dianetics and Scientology Literature, along with the Bibles. I'd rate my all time favorite science fiction books in this
1:Red Dwarf - Funniest book evar.
2:Quran - Pretty good, I like the idea of Heaven.
3:Scientology - Really funny, and does have some logical and psychology.
4:The Thing - Man, those monstors were scary.
5:Bible - Not believeable, too over the top. The first and second parts don't mesh well.
How about everyone else?