I feel pretty good today.

I just wanted to thank mainly Madnessinmysoul and those other atheist unnamed, but mainly him. I want to also thank the religious zealouts here and the spiritual people here.

Everyone has contributed to my own spiritual battles and formed what I needed to do all my life.

Today, I formally told my mother the source of all my ills for these 38 years has been her wisdom of placing the icon of Jesus in front of me at an early age.

I also told her that both sets of my grandmothers also instilled the same thing in me, that I should worship Jesus. From that day, it has been the source of all the rage and anger I have ever had about the world, myself, and anything else I can think of. It literally has destroyed me, and made me even attempt suicide once - all for a guy nailed to a cross that was supposed to save me.

I told my mother that they were all responsible for placing that in front of me as a child, before I was even 6 years old as something to believe in.

What she did not understand is that none of them ever found Christ, yet threw it as a stumbling block in my life to take and run with it.

I concluded the episode of Jesus by denying he is related to me in any way and threw it all back onto their heads.

Told her to deal with Jesus on her own terms, for I was done with it.

I cleansed myself of him in his blood by giving up on believing in him any more.

It's nonsense, and I've got so many better things to do.

Thanks again for listening.

My goodness, I don’t know you, your mother and grandparents but in reading your opening post I can’t help but feel bad and a little embarrassed for what you did.

A 38 year old man should not be placing all responsibility for their life and choices on his parents and grandparents. At some point you need to take responsibility for your own life, happiness or unhappiness whatever the case may be.

For the good of your own soul and your relationships apologize to these people. Do what you must with your life but my goodness try to make up for the unloading of responsibility and blame.

I don’t mean to be rude or critical of your decisions but you shouldn’t be feeling “pretty good today”.

Sorry, I know this won’t be taken well but it needed to be said...

All the best to you...

Originally posted by kinglizard
A 38 year old man should not be placing all responsibility for their life and choices on his parents and grandparents. At some point you need to take responsibility for your own life, happiness or unhappiness whatever the case may be.

Well could you tell me who else sent me to church at the ripe old age of 6?

Should I have disbelieved what my mother and grandmothers told me?

I guess it is fine to make dishonest impressions on innocent children.

Now, I take responsibility by washing my hands of it and telling 'mother' why it ruined my life and somehow I am responsible?

As a moderator I would hope that you surely cannot tell anyone here that 6 year old children are able to make wise decisions, especially about what to believe.

I had no choice, they made me look at Jesus all my life, without actually looking at him themselves.

EDIT: Furthermore, what do I need to apologize for? I believed in what those people told me to believe in. I did what they asked of me.

[edit on 23-3-2008 by ben91069]

Congratulations ben, it feel's good doesn't it? well of course it does, thats why you made this thread...right?

Anyways now that you've freed yourself from that religion crap you can look at yourself. Now you can really focus all your energy and attention to yourself like you did to jesus at one time. thats something i never really got, people pay more attention to jesus and god then they do to themselves.

kinda side tracked but whatever, congratulations, i think people that give up theology and take more of an agnostic or atheist(even though i kinda look at atheism as a religion itself)vantage point are prone to evolve spirtually..maybe i'm just pooping out my mouth..i hope you understand

reply to post by ben91069


Ben, you aren’t six years old anymore. Did your mother introduce you to Jesus out of malice or was she doing what she thought was best for her loving child?

I was sent to catholic parochial school when I was six, taught by priests and nuns. Today, as an adult I don’t agree with the Catholic Church and it’s teachings. I’m a Christian and don’t blame my parents for sending me to that school. I know they did it out of love for me just as I’m sure your mother guided you out of love.

We need to remember that our parents are only human and they did the very best for us with the ‘tools’ they had at the time.

kind of relevant here so i'll go ahead and post it

i was fortuante enough to have a mother that, for the most part, steered me completley clear of religion

yea we did christmas and easter with the family and stuff but on christmas we prayed to santa claus, there were no crosses

easter was and is the same way, i'm going to my uncles house here in a few minutes and all the younger kids are going to run around and look for eggs

not one word will be mentioned about jesus but i'm sure i won't be able to get them to shutup about that damn rabbit

[edit on 23-3-2008 by Roland Deschain]

reply to post by Roland Deschain



Truly does feel wonderful. It felt like a had 1000 demonic spirits inside me and they all got scared, because I was forcing them to leave for I was cleaning house.

I can now concentrate on more important things in life and let everyone else in the family who concerns themselves with Jesus to do so at their own risk.

reply to post by kinglizard



It really makes no difference if my mother did it out of malice or not. Judas betrayed Jesus with a simple kiss. My mother was an adult at the time, so perhaps you should council her to see if she understood all that she was asking me to believe in.

I asked her to explain Jesus to me, and she doesn't have a single answer, because she never really applied any critical thinking to it. That's a typical watered-down Christian attitude that I see so prominently everywhere.

Maybe pedophiles too are exempt from wrongdoing and we should just place the burden of circumstances on the children for not being adult enough to know whats happening at the time. That's hypothetical, of course, but parallel to what your saying about my position as a child and whether or not my mom had a decent motive for bringing me up in the church.

Sometimes, it's the little things we think are so good that are actually our own curse.

Kinglizard, if you wish to worship things, by all means do so, just leave me out of it.

Originally posted by ben91069
I can now concentrate on more important things in life and let everyone else in the family who concerns themselves with Jesus to do so at their own risk.

just be careful not to be pushy, respect their beliefs and don't look down on them for their beliefs. from what i've seen on the board youre a nice guy you probably already know this. probably had a lot to do with your decision as well. you were once where they are so you can kinda...symphatize for them. does that sound harsh? lol, sympathize.. am i making any sense? i never know if i am or not...