Thank you everybody once again for the incredible amount of information being brought to this thread. Just incredible really. But I have to level
with all of you. Most of my intention on this thread is selfish in nature. It's true. I do deeply care about Ms. Izatt's case very much. Why?
Because I think and "feel" that she holds answers for me. Answers that I have been looking for obsessively for over 26 years. I saw
this thread a couple of days ago on the "recent active threads" page. It spoke to
me deeply. So much so it compelled me to do a "first" in my life even though it was absolutely terrifying for me to do. Nobody knew of my personal
childhood experiences with this phenomenon save for my Dad, Mother, Brother, my
Wife and two or three friends. I have kept this pretty much to myself figuring that I could "solve" it on my own. Fear of ridicule. But every
since I have never stopped thinking about that night. I'm missing g@dd@mn 8 hours of my life and I want them back!! Desperately!! But the
experiences have affected my life in many ways. Some would say in many positive ways. To me, all the ways are just avenues of seeking what I am
missing. What was stolen from me. How has it affected me, you ask? Well, like
this,
this,
this and
this for starters. I have become very philosophical, very artistic in a variety of mediums (drawing,
painting, music, carving and writing), and there are days if not weeks where I "feel" like I could change the world by myself. As a result of all
of the weird paranormal experiences my Brother and I have had, we've both bloomed into extreme "right-brained" people. I am lousy at math. I no
longer understand it once you start mixing the numbers with the alphabet but I could talk Quantum Mechanics all damn day without any strain of
thought. Why? Why are these things easy for me? I even taught myself how to throat sing like Tibetan Buddhist Monks! Taught myself? Yeah. Weird.
So this is where I am relying on Dorothy. She has burden that is larger than she could ever know. My cross is all on her shoulders and she doesn't
even know it. I would give all of my talent and philosophy away in an unthinking instant to have never experienced the entities/lights in the manner
I have. Grey thieving bastards. I lost a damned good friend and I lost eight hours and in return I got 26 years of nightmares and paranoia. Don't
let me near those bug-eyed freaks. You won't like what I would do to them.
I want my answers. And then I want them to answer for what they have done to me. I do not bring the Lily of Peace to this resolve. I bring a gun.
And that I fear is possibly the very reason that their presence in our dimension/world/time is not more obvious. Their are a lot of pissed-off folks
like myself who have been violated against their will that want Cosmic Justice if there is actually any to be had. How very unBuddhist of me.
In all actuality, I don't know what I would do if all was answered for me, because I can't honestly imagine what that would feel like. This
phenomenon has haunted me since childhood and I have very little "before" memories if any.
I apologize if I offend with this post but I must insist that I always bring honest and integrity to everything that I do and say. So there it is.
Now you know what I am about.
Nervous,
Erik