posted on Mar, 18 2008 @ 11:57 PM
I have personally been involved with lucid dreaming for about 10 years of my life, and have had many wonderful experiences and adventures. However,
the more involved i got, the more serious it became.
It started with the awareness that i was having a dream WHILE the dream was taking place. It moved onto having VERY real dreams concerning an ex
girlfriend who had killed herself. The strange thing about these dreams was the fact that while every other "character" in my dreams had this sort
of empty personality that i perceived to be a facet of my own self portraying someone i knew, Jacqueline started to become much more her own person.
One dream inparticular was VERY real. I knew what people would say before they said it, i knew what people would do before they did it because i knew
that ultimately *I* was the one controlling everything in my dreams. This one dream was very disturbing because i controlled it all up until the very
end when this "spirit" in my dream suddenly turned to me and said "I love you Nathan." I said "Jacqueline?" and she began to move down the
stairs, despite my intense desires to NOT end the dream. At this point in my dreaming i was totally capable of extending a dream as long as i wanted,
controlling every possible situation. Except for that spirit girl. There was something very, very real about her.
Things really started to change after that, albeit gradually. Things began to spill over into my waking life. I had a pretty disturbing experience
in a park in salt lake city one night where i suddenly had a very strong impression that my friends and i were in the wrong place and needed to leave.
Nobody took me seriously and quite suddenly i was not only standing where i was standing and seeing what i was seeing, but i was ALSO looking through
the eyes of another entity that seemed to be soaring over the park. It was quite terrifying to be honest, especially when i saw myself from overhead.
Suffice to say i didn't wait for my friends to believe me, and ran out of the back of the park as quickly as possible, and never set foot in those
back woods again. This is after being back there probably 100 times previously with absolutely no feelings like that.
Years passed without any pressing issues, just dreaming my dreams and enjoying my lucidity. One night i was very relaxed and falling asleep when VERY
suddenly my entire body tensed as though all muscles were contracting at the same time. My back arched in my bed, my eyes clenched and i started
grunting and clenching my teeth. My fists were clenched so tight that i bruised my palms. The entire time i had the VERY strong impression that
there was another presence in the room, and it was Jacqueline, my ex girlfriend from years before who had killed herself. Quite plainly, that scared
The last few years of my lucid dreaming experience i began to have difficulty waking up. I considered that to be quite strange since i had never
REALLY gone to sleep in the first place, being aware of dreaming and all that. I scared quite a few girlfriends off during those times when i would
wake up in the morning unable to open my eyes, move a muscle. All i could do was grind my teeth and quietly grunt. I remember one girlfriend
Jennifer crying in the corner saying she wished she knew what she could do to help me. I was awake but couldn't fully wake up, couldn't move,
nothing. Terrifying to say the least.
Shortly thereafter i had a breakdown, full hallucination experience where i was back in Wisconsin building a deck with my father. I laid in bed for
three days with my eyes closed, only rolling my head back and forth against my pillow and talking to my father who was 1,000 miles away. I'm sure
that was terrifying for Jennifer as well. It wasn't terrifying for me at the time, however, because as far as i knew i was back home building a deck
with my father. I went home shortly after that.
I continued to have issues with sleep paralysis and strange experiences surrounding my sleep (and sometimes in the middle of the day), and started
taking sleeping pills to try and quell those things. Nothing worked.
So today things are quite different. I don't have sleep paralysis, i don't hallucinate, i don't feel suddenly possessed by dead ex girlfriends and
i don't feel suddenly possessed by spirits soaring overhead. I also don't remember ANY of my dreams anymore.
I think the reason for this is my drug use to be quite honest. I started to smoke Marijuanna almost every night before i go to sleep or else i am
awake until 4am. Sleeping pills don't work, Ambien gives me HORRIBLY emotional nightmares, but marijuanna just makes me sleepy. Sorry Mods, please
don't delete my post!
Sometimes i miss my ability to go to sleep and wake up in a dream world where i am totally in control. But when i think about it, there was really
only a portion of my journey where i had that control. I think the deeper i got, the more things became involved in my consciousness and the less
control i ended up having.
I'm sorry if this is in the wrong area, i'm sorry for bringing up drug use but it is totally relevant to the topic. Has anyone else experienced any
lucid dreaming issues like this, or am i totally alone?