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Males against single females with children.

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posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 06:32 PM
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Nothing Personal

Let's please resist the temptation to resort to personal commentary.

Disagreement is fine, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being passionate about any topic, but even here in the Rant forum we must all abide by the rules.

So by all means rant on, but do try to be nice about it.




posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 06:38 PM
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zysin5... buddy don't add me as a foe, I'm not your enemy lol.

I can say my opinions once in awhile too can't I? C'mon take me off your foe list thingy, I don't want anyone hating me for no reason, that's not too fair...

I'll never foe anyone just because they feel differently about something than I do, heck I'd have to enemy most of the world lolol.

Peace my man.

Edit:
Wow, I left a brief message on zysin5's profile page just saying have a nice day... and they deleted the comment lol. Ok ok, I get the picture zysin lol. Suit yourself buddy, I can only assume if you're that determined to be at odds with me then maybe you sort of aren't worth the effort of trying to be peaceful to.


[edit on 19-3-2008 by Bachelor]



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 07:00 PM
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Originally posted by Bachelor

I can tell you this much, I'm 36 years old and I don't have any kids yet... The reason why isn't because I don't love kids because I do. But I'll be darned if I'm having a kid with some typical bimbo out here and end up having to visit with my kid on weekends because the skank

I would ask the same respect of you. I have bolded some words here in your quote, that I find highly offensive, being a woman.

I think it's interesting to see that Jedi has some support here.

You have a lot in common, being that you are both bachelors about the same age.

Best of luck to you!



[edit on 19-3-2008 by Enthralled Fan]



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 07:14 PM
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reply to post by Enthralled Fan
 


That's fine, no problems. Just bare in mind, I have the right to feel equally offended and revolted by you.

Have a nice day enthralled... =)



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 07:18 PM
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reply to post by Bachelor
 


Well you start off by calling women bimbos and skanks.. And trust me I dont hate anyone.. I have nothing but repsect for those who can give respect to everyone.
You have no biz making a post crying how I added you to my foes list.
I dont hate you. But words matter.. And if you are going to be calling women those kind of names, I have every right to add you to that list.

So I would respectfully ask you just leave me alone.. Thanks
I didnt say anything to you, nor did I commet on your page.

You had to air the dirty laundry.. I find that distasteful..
And you are trying to deflect the topic here..

I suggest you stay on topic, and not bother me or make any posts about me..

Have a great day too!

Ps I would have never added you to my foe list if you would have worded yourself better.. But no you had to go and call women names..

Men are just as bad.. Stop being so bias..
And I have respect for most women, no matter what they do or have done in life.. Things are not perfect.. Sure in a perfect world it would be nice for both parents to be there.. But its not..

I was raised by my mother, and love her very much. Just becasue Miller hates his mother, doesnt mean he should come here and take out his hate for women to all women.. Then you back up his claim by calling women hateful names..

My mother did a wonderful job doing what she did.. And its offensive to me to hear this kind of BS talk.. Its purely BS.. No proof.. And its not Gods word for a single mom to be wrong.. You guys are... well lets just say your not very caring or nice.. And thats all I want to say..




"You meanie, I don't like you! You think differently than I do, phooey on you, off my planet and don't come back! I'm cool and you're not! yeah!"

I never once said anything to you.. You are the one putting those words into my mouth.. Honestly I never said anything to you period!!
You aired that I put you on that list.. NOT me!
I admire anyone with a different thought pattern than my own. I dont know how you came to that conclusion. I honestly dont get it.
I never even said word one to you. Nothin man. not one word.. Its all you. So the proof is in this thread.. No hard feelings.. I sure the heck dont know what your even sayin??? huh.. that didnt make much sense at all honestly. Ill take you off the dang list. As I have no wish for drama.
You where the one who brought the "drama" up. And trying to pit me into being angry. Well its not going to work.. I made a promise to someone on here, and Im sticking to that promise. No harm no foul.. Good day.

And for the record.. It goes both ways.. There are bad women, and bad men. Thats all you had to say.. And I would have gone on with my day.
But you had to call them skanks and bimbos.. When you could have just said some women are bad.. I would agree.. As some men are bad too..
It goes both ways there man.


[edit on 19-3-2008 by zysin5]



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 07:57 PM
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reply to post by zysin5
 



Well zysin5, what I can say to someone like you... You're obviously way too sensitive to maturely handle hearing other differing viewpoints without freaking out and throwing a temper tantrum, trying to make an enemy, decorating your foes list with a new flavor, and basically sitting in your sandbox pouting like a kid at the one who so offended you...

"You meanie, I don't like you! You think differently than I do, phooey on you, off my planet and don't come back! I'm cool and you're not! yeah!"

lol

Relax dude, you'll live longer. If you haven't realized it by your current point in life, there are quite a few people in the world who are going to have viewpoints and opinions that don't mesh with your own. I would suggest not reacting this way every time it happens, but... that's just my suggestion. It's your blood pressure friend.



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 09:20 PM
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reply to post by zysin5
 


Hmm it's not always the man's fault for the problems of a marriage. Really it's not. Sometimes the woman is the cheater. There are some men out there that are really nice guys, my brother in law is one of them. He is so patient and kind and has such an even temperament. I have never seen him get angry nor get curt. He loves his two daughters from another marriage that he has full custody of and he loves my niece that my sister brought into their marriage, and they now have a wonderful little boy together.

So one day my sister emails me and tells me that they are getting a divorce. I tell her that she is insane for wanting to divorce such a wonderful guy. I told them to certainly seek out marriage counseling cause it would be in the best interest for all involved. They did and she realized what it was about him that she fell in love with in the first place.

Lets see someone wanted statictical data to back up why divorce may be the wrong choice. Hmm let me find some.


"Most victims of child molestation come from single parent households or are the children of drug ring members."
Los Angeles Times, 16 September, 1985. Cited in Amneus, The Garbage Generation

"A child living in a female-headed home is ten times more likely to be beaten or murdered."
The Legal Beagle, July, 1984. Cited in Amneus, The Garbage Generation, page 113


Source Divorce Statistics Collection

Isn't it great to hear how bad men are all the time, and when wives leave their husbands the children don't suffer at all.


I would suggest checking out that site. Yes men can be bastards. But women themselves can be equally to blame. What sucks is in this day and age a divorce is so easy to get, just not wanting to be married anymore is grounds for divorce. The irreconcilable differences, the catch all for divorce. A woman may just want to get a hold of the mans money and not have to deal with him at all so they sue for a divorce. Get alimony, child support and run off with whatever dude that meets their fancy. Just to do it all over again with the new guy.

how bout this one? www.belowtopsecret.com...

The child in this case gets Heather Mills 35,000 pounds per year in child support. That is on top of the whopping 24.3 million pound alimony settlement that she gets. Nice payout for four years of work IMO.



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 09:53 PM
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It could be that the reason females get divorced and move out and take the children with them is because the guy is either cheating on her or abusing her and/or the kids. Usually. I know that's not the case 100% of the time. It is like that around 75% of the time, though. So I don't blame the women who do that to a husband who is like that.



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 11:00 PM
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This thread's gotten a bit wacky. Mostly (and gladly) this thread has been full of members who think that the idea of hating someone who goes through the pain and stress of being a single mother is despicable. And there are some who feel otherwise of course, as there always are.

To me, it seems that some are almost searching for people to add them as a 'respected foe'. Personally, I see two distinct criteria that would allow an individual to become a 'respected foe', and those members most seeking the 'foe' prize are greatly lacking in one distinct aspect.

:down:



posted on Mar, 19 2008 @ 11:03 PM
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The fact is, divorce happens........... PERIOD.

It is up to the parent raising the child if they think they can do it alone. If they meet someone, some day, that they feel is worthy to be with so be it. There is nothing wrong with any of the single women I know. They are all great and none of them need help raising the kid/s they have. In my experience, most of them are even better off than some single women without kids. More mature, and actually have their priorities in check.

So go on and rant about how all single mothers suck........... most of us know the truth.



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 03:59 AM
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reply to post by whatukno
 


Your point of view has some merit to it. How nice your sister and her husband were able to turn a bad situation around. Sometimes putting the effort forth is worth it.

I am just interested though, why you would find data from 1984 and 1985 as a reliable backup source for an argument in 2008?

Do you really think it still applies?

[edit on 20-3-2008 by Enthralled Fan]



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 07:23 AM
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reply to post by Enthralled Fan
 




Your point of view has some merit to it. How nice your sister and her husband were able to turn a bad situation around. Sometimes putting the effort forth is worth it.


Exactly my point, taken as I wished it would have been, thank you. There are some good men out there ladies. So what happens when the wife decides she just doesn't want to be married anymore? Now the guy is a bad guy? I say give it a chance and you might re discover why you liked each other in the first place. Of course if the dude is an abusive drunk or drug addict this approach may not work.

In this case I thought that it was a mistake. I thought that her not wanting to be married anymore was a bad idea, this man has done nothing wrong. In fact as far as I know he is a great dad and a kind husband. So for her to just want to throw that away because she didn't want to be married anymore?

Lumping all men in the same boat is just as bad as lumping all divorced women with children in the same boat as suggested by the OP.


I am just interested though, why you would find data from 1984 and 1985 as a reliable backup source for an argument in 2008?


Interesting though that the children from that era are grown up now, and having families of their own isn't it? What lessons have they learned from broken families and being raised solely by mom? Lessons on relationships, society, family, trust? We hope they have learned good lessons. That argument can be extrapolated for even married couples that stay together. But the children that are brought up by mom/dad alone? What of the "uncle/aunt" complex? Where the parent tries to bring in another person to replace the former spouse? What happens if this relationship fails and this process continues on perhaps several times? What happens to the values instilled in these children by their parent that does this? What lessons do the children learn from watching their parental figure's actions?


Do you really think it still applies?


Does it not? I think that even though the statistics have changed over time the impact on these children is much the same if not compounded by society as of late, and the mass of information that these children have access to.



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 03:10 PM
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reply to post by whatukno
 


Once again, nice reply. Thanks.

I do see what you mean about the data from those dates.

I got divorced in 1986 for some of the reasons you listed with 4 small children, 2 of which were under the age of 1 at the time.

I was in one very long term relationship after my divorce for over 9 years, so I couldn't tell you about the "uncle daddy", or "auntie mommy" situation.

All of my children are in long term relationships, but none of them are married. They saw me struggle to pay mortgage payments, utilities and put food on the table since their father got way behind on child support payments several times. I disussed this with them in an open and honest way, and told them that it would be wise to make sure they can take care of themselves before they ever have to worry about a spouse, and or children. None of them have plans to marry. A couple of them would like to have children, but none of them have any near future plans on it.

I was very lucky to have 4 children that never did drugs, or drank, and never got into any kind of trouble. They are all hard working adults.

I think that one of the reasons they never got into trouble was because I was very strict with them, but I was also a very loving mother.

One of the other single mothers who replied here earlier that she gets both mother and father's day gifts, and that is the case with me, also.

I couldn't have produced 4 more beautiful people with the help of their father. In fact, he choose to have nothing to do with any of them about 4 years after our divorce because he remarried. Let me tell you something, they have now just started speaking to him as of late, as he got divorced once again. None of them will ever forgive him for having nothing to do with them, and I am the one that gets all the credit for them turning out as they have! Even their father tells me what a wonderful job I did!



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 05:20 PM
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Your reasoning baffles me jedi and you make blanket comments.




Same goes with males raising kids alone. can't be done. and if it's done, i'd be worried for the child.


My father raised three of us (boys) by himself and none of us are criminals or scarred for life.
We had our tough times but we had our good times,just like any other "family".The woman who gave me birth was an abusive alcoholic.

If I was looking for a female partner,being a father to her children would not be at the top of my list.If it was her priority,I'd be gone in a flash.
There are many things that need to happen first before "daddy" comes into play.
Family dynamics are far more complex than the black and white picture you've painted.



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 08:30 PM
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Jedimiller i swear if i were in front of you in real life id force you to apologise to all single mothers... especially AccessDenied.

How dare you judge other people for what decisions they make? In your other thread you even judge god!

My goodness me... youve managed to rile me up more than anyone else on ATS.

I doubt i shall be replying to any of your threads ever again so consider this a heartfelt plea to stop posting divisive crap on ATS. We are here to seek knowledge from this great library, and you are making too much noise without good cause.



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 08:36 PM
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Originally posted by Rasobasi420
reply to post by jedimiller
 


Another gem from Jedi
...
The only reason I haven't ignored you yet is that your posts are so much fun to read and show to my friends. We all get a chuckle every time.


Hehe normally i would agree with you Raso, but this time i got scathing mad at this guy. I mean, what a jackass he is. This time his conduct isnt mildly out of line, its plainly insulting.



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 09:52 PM
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Originally posted by jedimiller


Same goes with males raising kids alone. can't be done. and if it's done, i'd be worried for the child.


First off, I just want it to be known that this is me posting, the person sitting at the keyboard. Not ATS Moderator GAOTU789, me. Just so there is no confusion.
 
 


Although we are a minority, I don't think you have to worry about us jedi. You see, I'm a single father. I've been raising my child by myself for almost three years. She's a very happy, healthy and intelligent little girl. I'm extremely active in her life. I coach her soccer team, volunteer at her cheerleading gym, volunteer at her school. She's doing just fine. So I would refute your point that it can't be done. Have a friend, Rick, who has been raising his daughter since she was three months old. By himself. Shocking eh? She is doing just as well as my girl.

I'll be honest mate. What you posted offends me in so many ways. Your complete disregard for real world happenings used to make me scratch my head. Now I understand why you have such a strange outlook on things and chose to post the things you do.

You know jedi, relationships break down. It's a fact of life.

Here in Canada, I believe it is almost half of first marriages breakdown. Most of those that get divorced, remarry for a second time. Most of these second marriages end in separation as well. The days of staying together for the kids are gone. The need to suffer in a loveless, dead-end marriage is no longer. Staying in a relationship for the kids is, imo, a very bad idea. I believe that if it is a relationship that could be saved, then the couple should try to work it out. Whatukno gave a good example of this.I tried with my daughters mom. It failed but at least I tried. There was no way that we could have stayed together for our girl's sake.

A question for you. What about all the guys that abandon their kids? You know, the ones that find out that their girlfriend is pregnant and ditch her like yesterdays news. Are those single mothers bad also? What about the women who started in a good relationship but for whatever reason, the husband/boyfriend turns abusive? Do you honestly believe that those kids should suffer so that they can have a father figure?



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 10:13 PM
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I am a single mom who saved her children from a family life with a idiot father.

My X was an abusive man. I dated Dr. Jekyll, who turned into Mr. Hyde once we married.

My Boys are fine young men.



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 10:29 PM
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Originally posted by 44soulslayer
Jedimiller i swear if i were in front of you in real life id force you to apologise to all single mothers... especially AccessDenied.

How dare you judge other people for what decisions they make? In your other thread you even judge god!

My goodness me... youve managed to rile me up more than anyone else on ATS.

I doubt i shall be replying to any of your threads ever again so consider this a heartfelt plea to stop posting divisive crap on ATS. We are here to seek knowledge from this great library, and you are making too much noise without good cause.

For the record..Jedi did apologize to me in a u2u..and I accepted it.
After the responses to this thread, (I really should not be speaking for him, but..) and a private message that he and I had..he is thinking things over. Many things. I realize how this thread got started..I hope it ends on a better note.
AD
PS..Lets just all agree that we helped a fellow member deny ignorance..OK?



posted on Mar, 20 2008 @ 10:51 PM
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reply to post by AccessDenied
 


Right I am glad to hear this.. So no hard feelings to Miller here.. Everyone gets a little misguided at times, and we are all here to help..
Yes it was hurtful but hopefully we can help him out..

Same with Bachelor.. We started off on the wrong foot and now we are friends!! Im glad everyone here has a level head and we can help eachother in a caring manner. Its important not to hold grudges.. Or hate anyone for their veiws..
Thanks AD! This shows yet agin you are a wonderful Woman, and a caring soul!



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