Males against single females with children.

What pisses me off is these mother's who get divorced, leave the guy and move out with the kids. you know what I mean guys? they think they can raise their children alone with no father figure. and that's just WRONG!:bash:

We have to put some sense into these girls who think they can raise those kids alone. God created males and females for one purpose alone. To raise their children together, not just the mother. too many girls today think they are all bad and that they don't need a man to raise their kids. heck, name me one woman that didn't leave their husbands first and took the kids? none. the man is always there to raise the children.

Same goes with males raising kids alone. can't be done. and if it's done, i'd be worried for the child. but you rarely see a male father raising the children alone, it's usually the female mentality. "I can do it alone, I don't need a man". this is where marriages fail and children fail. I know, I had a mother who thought it would be a good idea to raise 4 children on her own. well guess what? didn't work. she was beetchen all the time, complaining naggin all day long. have you ever met the complaining mother who left her husband to raise her children on her own? notice how they complain about it all day long? but guess what? it was their decision to make. We men just get no respect. we are taken out of the equation when it comes to parenting. Apparently, a father is not important to these single females with children.

Jedi...I swear you start the most controversial threads you can just to see who gets their back up over it.
Do you ever consider the reason why women get divorced?Maybe the guy is a jackass and her and the kids are better off?
Doesn't make it an easy life, or even always a happy one.
Some things just CHANGE after marriage and children. People grow apart, people have affairs, any number of things.Yes this can be hard on the children sometimes. But it also can be hard on them to live in a house where mom and dad fight all the time.In the words of Dr. Phil...
'When you fight in front of your children..you change who they are."
He is so correct.
Jedi, Iam a single mom. Because I married an abusive jerk. MY CHILDREN told me to kick him out because they couldn't stand to see the way he treated me, and he frightened them.I made the right choice for us.We are all happy now.

Do not group all single moms together. Everyone has their own story and their own reasons.

but AD, I remember you saying you believed in god right? ok then, you know god wants parents for those kids. that's how it works, two parents and the children. that's god's plan. So if you refuse his plan, arent you going against his wishes? and what's best for you kids? I think so.

Go ahead Jedi..post here what you sent me in a u2u.
I was raised by a single mother because my father DIED when I was young.
She worked very hard, long hours, but raised me right, the best way she could.
Did I turn out wrong?
Should I have stayed with an abusive man just so my kids had a "Father figure" in their life who spent no more than 2 minutes a day with them?
What kind of a father is that?
I made my choice to make a better life for my kids.
I don't know what psychology books you are reading, but if I had stayed with my ex my sons would grow up to be just like him. THAT is just wrong.
Even when married he was never around, and I took care of everything.
My children are happier and will be the first ones to say so.
I have no regrets.

[edit on 18-3-2008 by AccessDenied]

Originally posted by jedimiller
but AD, I remember you saying you believed in god right? ok then, you know god wants parents for those kids. that's how it works, two parents and the children. that's god's plan. So if you refuse his plan, arent you going against his wishes? and what's best for you kids? I think so.

Wherever in the world did you read that???
There is no god in my world.I create my own reality. My religious beliefs are not the issue here.

reply to post by jedimiller


Maybe that is just the way YOUR mother is, Jedi. Ever consider that her relationship with your father was bad do to her being the way you described? If she hadn't decided to leave, he probably would have done so on his own at some point.

Personally, I don't think anyone should ever get married. Why bother when the odds against a marriage lasting are so high, anyway?

Some people should never have kids either. They can't handle it whether they are single or married. From what you describe, your mother is one of those people!

AD, I know you had problems in your youth. And I don't want to make this thread about you. I'm not saying your the only one. I had no father and we all needed a father..but my mother went solo..she said it was better for us, but it was bull!

Entralled fan and AD, i've dated single moms, they complain about everything. still, they don't do anything to find their children a father. it just wasn't my mother, my two sisters are single mothers with kids..they complain about it too. all of the single mother's i've met have this mentality of "oh i'm doing it all alone", "I need help", but due to the feminist movement, they think they don't need a man. that's my point.

Would you rather a child,an innocent child,was kept in an abusive home,just becuase the parents had to stay together? Dad could be a violent drunk,or a nonce. Would,in these circumstances,it be better or worse for a child to live with both parents?

Originally posted by jedimiller
AD, I know you had problems in your youth. And I don't want to make this thread about you. I'm not saying your the only one. I had no father and we all needed a father..but my mother went solo..she said it was better for us, but it was bull!

Entralled fan and AD, i've dated single moms, they complain about everything. still, they don't do anything to find their children a father. it just wasn't my mother, my two sisters are single mothers with kids..they complain about it too. all of the single mother's i've met have this mentality of "oh i'm doing it all alone", "I need help", but due to the feminist movement, they think they don't need a man. that's my point.

Jedi..you know nothing about me. And you did make it personal. And you are generalizing ALL women together based on your own experiences in life.
Do you see a pattern there Jedi?
Your sisters are patterning your mother. YOU are as well by dating single women with children who seem to complain just like her.
We are not all like that.
I have no need to complain about raising my kids on my own.I don't know any women that do.If anything they complained more when married. Flip side of the coin.
Perhaps you need to read some books written by women who were abused and left because of that. If you are going to research a topic..look up all the facts from both sides.

reply to post by jedimiller


jedi,

Lot's of people in the world are complainers. You are complaining right here and now. Women who are single with children and without partners don't own the rights on complaining.

I think it could just be that you haven't found the right person yet. You are probably finding single mothers to date because of your age. Once you get past 30, you are not going to find very many women your age that don't have children.

Since this is your attitude about single women with kids, why are you dating them?

Keep looking until you find somebody that doesn't have any kids. Plain and simple!

jedi,

This is possibly the only time you haven't made me laugh.
Are you just trying to wind people up here?

In ideal circumstances of course it's best for there to be two parents involved in raising children in a happy, secure domestic environment.

Unfortunately is sometimes not so peaches and cream and thing's happen.

People fall out of love, start arguing etc.
Hardly the perfect environment for raising children.

Unfortunately sometimes a parent dies, (God being the benevolent being he is), and a parent is left with no option to raise any children by themself.

Some women, (and even some men), are in abusive relationships and suffer horrendous mental and / or physical abuse.
Surely it is better for the abused to get out of the relationship and raise the children in a healthier environment by themselves.

I have known women have to raise children on their own due to all of the above scenario's, (and most have done very good jobs of it).
I agree it's not the ideal situation, but the alternatives are far worse.

[edit on 18/3/08 by Freeborn]

Originally posted by AccessDenied
I have no need to complain about raising my kids on my own.I don't know any women that do.If

Well, ok. didn't mean to make it personal, apoligies if I did. but see I live in california..most woman here are single with kids. why? it's beyond my comprehension. let me give you an example of all the woman I know who are single with kids..

I was married to a twin for 8 years. we had no kids. her sister however had kids and was divorced 2 times. why? the husband never hit her, never insulted her..he was no danger to her. she just left him because she felt she could do better alone..this is the mentality here..at least in the US.

Her other sister was also divorced with kids, her husband was not a bad guy, I knew the guy pretty well. she just wanted to be cool with the rest of the girls. it's feminism. I know many other single females who have never been beaten or mistreated, just left the guy because.

Another case. My two sisters are already single with children. my other sister is still with her husband..my other two sisters hate on that. they want my sister to divorce and have began to say bad things about the husband. I was the only one who said, "no you are not getting a divorce for no reason, those kids need a father".

do you know what I mean?

Originally posted by Freeborn
jedi,

This is possibly the only time you haven't made me laugh.
Are you just trying to wind people up here?

I'm wondering if this is a troll.


*must.not.feed.the.troll.

scary thing is.

I don't think he is

Originally posted by Acidtastic
Would you rather a child,an innocent child,was kept in an abusive home,just becuase the parents had to stay together? Dad could be a violent drunk,or a nonce. Would,in these circumstances,it be better or worse for a child to live with both parents?

you are generalizing. Most of those divorced mothers leave the husband because of financial issues. not because he was a drunk or abusive..that's very rare. most of the time the female thinks she can just do it alone and doesn't need a man to do it. but I tell you what, I would have rather had a drunk dad than no drunk at all and a drunk mother.

Originally posted by Acidtastic
I'm wondering if this is a troll.

Not a troll!


And I was thinking I could get actual guys on our side here? but then again I don't think there are any guys in here who their wife left them and she kept the kids? you wouldn't be saying the same and you'd probably agree with me. of course the single mothers with kids are not going to agree with this thread. that's obvious..what we need is guys who know that their ex's did the wrong thing by thinking they could do it alone without them.

Originally posted by jedimiller

I was married to a twin for 8 years. we had no kids. her sister however had kids and was divorced 2 times. why? the husband never hit her, never insulted her..he was no danger to her. she just left him because she felt she could do better alone..this is the mentality here..at least in the US.

Well, why did you get divorced? People just fall out of love, you know. So, you are saying people who no longer are in love should stay married just for the kids?

Her other sister was also divorced with kids, her husband was not a bad guy, I knew the guy pretty well. she just wanted to be cool with the rest of the girls. it's feminism. I know many other single females who have never been beaten or mistreated, just left the guy because.

This is generalizing. I'm sure they didn't share every single intimate detail with you. Why should they? You might post it on the interenet!

Another case. My two sisters are already single with children. my other sister is still with her husband..my other two sisters hate on that. they want my sister to divorce and have began to say bad things about the husband. I was the only one who said, "no you are not getting a divorce for no reason, those kids need a father".

So, you are calling two of your sisters instigaters, who are making things up about the other sisters husband, or are they pointing out things that are real? For instance, if my sister knew that my husband was cheating on me, and if she didn't tell me, I'd still get a divorce when I found out, and then I would never speak to her again!

do you know what I mean?

No

Right,ok,I'll admit,you have a point. But only up onto the fact where it's not ideal. in some situations,it is better though. if a child is in a home where it is at risk when both parents live together,for what ever reason (cos it's NEVER black and white) Then it can be in the best interest for the child,for the parents to split up. And a single parent can bring up children. That's a fact. My parents split up when I was quite young (12) I'm fine. I have a reasonably good job with a fair income. I live in a house that's fully paid for. I'm not a criminal (ok,I smoke weed,but that's a stupid law I choose to ignore it )

I turned out just fine.

jedi,

No-one said it's ideal.
We men get screwed over every which way in the divorce courts.
We get very poor access rights and get financially crucified at times.

But that isn't always the case and to say that all women raise their children alone just because they think they can shows a massive disrespect to lots of women who work very hard, in difficult circumstances, to raise their children in a loving, caring environment and to be good people.

I would suggest that the principal cause for the majority of divorces, which causes the majority of single mothers, is that people simply drift apart.
I know how easy this happens and it causes no end of heartache for all concerned.

Originally posted by jedimiller

Originally posted by Acidtastic
Would you rather a child,an innocent child,was kept in an abusive home,just becuase the parents had to stay together? Dad could be a violent drunk,or a nonce. Would,in these circumstances,it be better or worse for a child to live with both parents?

you are generalizing. Most of those divorced mothers leave the husband because of financial issues. not because he was a drunk or abusive..that's very rare. most of the time the female thinks she can just do it alone and doesn't need a man to do it. but I tell you what, I would have rather had a drunk dad than no drunk at all and a drunk mother.

Would you really have rather had a drunk father? NEWSFLASH! Financial issues DO go with a drunk and so quite often does abuse.

Jedi..a father figure in a childs life is only good if it is a positive one, and I will say the same for a mother.You cannot get a positive product from a negative influence.
There are children who seek out positive, whether online or running away because home is a negative place for them to be. What is the psychology behind that? Are their lives better because dad stayed around?
www.preventionfamilyviolence.org...()/statisticsfamilyviolenceandchildren.htm
(If link doesn't work, copy and paste into your browser)
The same goes for single fathers. Some women just don't have the maternal instinct and some fathers rise to the occasion.
There are pros and cons to both children raised in single parent homes and abused homes. However, children raised in a loving home by both parents don't always turn out 100% either. There are many other socio-economic factors to consider.
Why Women leave men...
www.marriagebuilders.com...

www.divorce360.com...

[edit on 18-3-2008 by AccessDenied]