I can has a cooking show?

I don't cook that often, but I have a dish that I really like that I thought I'd share.

Ingredients:
Hamburger - 1-2lb lean
Eggs - 1 yolk, 2 white
Onions - 1-2 med chopped
Mushrooms - 2 cups
Tomato Sauce - 1 can
Garlic - 1 tsp or to taste
Oregano - to taste
Olive Oil - 2 tblsp

1. Cook hamburger in a pan. Can be chunky hburger from frozen or regular from fresh. Freeze fresh hamburger in a freezer storage bag, flat. Remove from plastic baggie, and while partially frozen, chop into cubes with a Chinese chopper. Have bandaids handy; those puppies are sharp!

Add a little water. When the grease starts to build up, decant into a spare empty milk carton. Put milk in a large orange juice container. Put orange juice in an empty screw top Pepsi jug. (Drink Pepsi)

2. When about 3/4 cooked put in a large strainer and pass some boiling water through it. (This will remove up to a tsp of additional fat). Drain, press and set aside, covered, on warm burner.

3. Separate one egg, twice.

4. Put some olive oil in a pan, add onions and sautee until almost translucent. If you don't stir it, the edges will take on a charcoal-like consistency. Some people call this 'burnt'. This is OK. (Trying to trim the burnt edges off of a bunch of little slippery onion bits takes a long time.)

5. Put some olive oil in another pan, lightly sautee, stirring lightly. The onions will try to escape and dive down into the pan under the eye. Since two onions were chopped, some loss is acceptable.

6. When onions are nearly done, retrieve the hamburger from the back burner.

6. Lightly warm the hamburger and stir in the eggs. This adds some additional protein. Optionally the eggs can be added to the hamburger when fresh and just stirred in. It mixes better that way. It looks funny, but that's why we have the tomato sauce. It covers a variety of what some 'actual cooks' call "mistakes".

With the addition after cooking, it's a little like a hamburger with an egg on top.

Experiment. You can also add any 'hamburger helper' that you want. This will make more 'substance' in case you want more volume.

7. Add tomato sauce and warm. Add garlic and oregano. Ignore any comments from those with actual cooking experience who say the onions and mushrooms should be cooked first. Keep actual cooks back from the stove about 2 feet, unless you want tears of laughter and other bodily fluids contaminating your ingredients

8. Add onions and stir.

9. Add mushrooms last so you don't get wilted mushrooms.

10. But, first! Put hamburger and tomato concoction in a large sauce pan.

11. Add mushrooms last so you don't get wilted mushrooms.

12. Stir a little and set to the side on low heat for one or two minutes for ingredients to meld.

13. Serve or store in a tupperware for later.

14. If you accidentally put the lid of the tupperware on a still-hot burner, and it burns a small hole in the top, quickly remove and wipe melted plastic from burner eye. You now have tupperware with a nice feature, a vent hole. Cover with two layers of duct tape. Tell wife this is a feature, not a hole.

Serves three or four, or one with two or three meals later.

Calories: 250 per 4 oz serving.

Enjoy!

Well, considering you cook just like me, I'd watch your show!! I LOVE the duct tape over tupperware lid idea. I have a bunch of 'vented' plastic lids...and oven mitts too for that matter! Oven mitts really stink when you leave them on a hot burner by the way.

Now I know what we're having for dinner!

Michelle

P.S. You could call it "cooking for conspiracists"! If that's even a word...

[edit on 11-3-2008 by Michelle129]

Thanks,

One thing you might consider to make it a little less 'lump in the stomach' wrt the hamburger is to add the eggs and maybe onions to the fresh hamburger and even make little meat balls.

I don't like the breading in traditional meatballs, but this wouldn't be too bad.

I think in that case I'd leave the onions uncooked, but maybe chopped a little finer.

For me, making up low carb type dishes, I do it the primitive way, much like making a 'hamburger meatloaf out of that big 4lb lump of hamburger straight out of the freezer that you don't bother to thaw. (I just slice it thin after cooking). If you put a few ten penny nails in it, (a nail that is three (3.0) inches (7.6 centimeters) long )that heats the inside.

For mushrooms, it's probably even better to use Shiitake. I'm shying away from button mushrooms and the common variety b/c there's some evidence they're toxic. (can't recall what and why or find the reference off hand)

UPDATE: Toxic component of Agaricus_bisporus/Portabella, or Button mushrooms (common grocery mushrooms).

Some mycologists, including Paul Stamets, have raised concerns that this mushroom contains trace quantities of a chemical agaritine known to have carcinogenic properties, though whether levels are sufficient to cause harm in consumers is debated.[1]

Watch the whole vid, it's way cool, but the comments on button mushrooms is at ~06:30 into it.



Darryl Hannah hosts this interview!!




Next time: Making coffee and cooking grilled sandwiches at top speed, including my patented "Turbo Method".




[edit on 11-3-2008 by Badge01]

Procedure:
Instant Grilled Cheese! (Turbo Method)

'Gredients:
1. Soft butter
2. sliced cheese
3. bread
4. paper plate

Method:
Spread butter on bread (one side) and put into toaster.

Note: can gum up toaster, so use friend's. If asked, look innocent, lie. "Moi? I don't even like grilled cheese."

Slice cheese; lay out. Five slices for thick sandwich, two for regular.

Pre program microwave 20 seconds.

When toaster pops, typically 60-90 sec. depending on bread type (sour dough takes twice as long to toast), put cheese on bread, forming sandwich configuration.

Pop proto-sandwiches into microwave. GO!

While cooking (yum), get paper plate ready, put cheese away, tidy up.

Bell rings; slam two perfect grills on paper plate. Kick microwave door shut.

Locate comfy TV easy chair. Enjoys.

Beware: if you've put too much time on the clock you can get a nasty burn - melted cheese is like liquid magma - it sticks to the skin.


=================
Addendum:
If cheese not melted give another 5-7 seconds. Though that seems short, those crafty cheeses are already melted inside, they're just not showing it. (pun intended)

If adroit, you can actually make two grilled cheeses in about the same time. Have four slice toaster or stagger the second batch during your free time.

Caution: Four grilled cheese sandwiches with butter can be high caloric.

Total time about 90-120 seconds, shorter than most commercials.

Brilliant!





[edit on 11-3-2008 by Badge01]