I hate these but they are becoming more and more frequent. Today when I was asleep I dreamed I was in space on a bed, that bed had an atmosphere around it, but I knew all I had to do was step off the bed and I would be in the vacuum of space and die.

So thats what I did. I stepped off the bed and went out into space where the vacuum sucked the air from my lungs and I woke up.

Others include walking or riding my bike down the road or highway waiting for a semi or 10 wheeler to come speeding along then at the last second to make sure that the driver has no chance of stopping I step out in front of the truck and smack! I wake up.

man that sucked for sure, I know why I am feeling this way. I have been trying to correct the issues in my life that are causing me to be depressed and thus bringing about these suicidal thoughts and fantasies.

Something is going wrong in my head lately and I am trying hard not to let it do so, I am doing what I can to correct the problems in my life that are causing the symptoms of depression but it's a struggle.

I don't want to take drugs cause the last time I tried Prozac for a while it made me even more depressed. ugg, I don't know anymore.

oh sorry to read of your bad dreams.

The first thing I thought was perhaps your mind is processing something it wants to end. Maybe an emotional thing you would like to see dead?

?

Either way, I have had dreams similar involving a train falling on me and waking up right before it lands on me. Always quite
Or one where a car smashed into the back of my car and I died, saw myself get out of my car and go into fight the people who just crashed into me.

When I looked up the train possible meanings, everyone of them said, warning, close call with death ? I had two car accidents after that and the first one, well very fortunate to be alive and both involved rear end collisions.

So, perhaps some of our dreams are warnings or just a heightened sense of take a bit of care, keep watchful for risks.

I dunno, but after the dreams then my car accidents, I was a little phew.

Perhaps it is our Spirit guides/God communicating with us too?

The first accident, I saw the car coming in rear mirror and thought Oh no, he is not going to stop... well, everything slowed down and I was trying to think about the best possie to be in, kept saying relax, relax... about a second before it hit, I saw this golden ball all around me

A couple of days after, I remembered reading about a lady (famous) that survived the Granville Train Disaster and she said the same thing about the golden ball all around her. ! She doesn't know how else to explain how she survived when only 2 from the carriage she was in, survived.

maybe your also expecting something bad to happen soon?
or fear something happening?


Nat

If you only knew what hell my life has been like Most days it's as if I am in a neverending nightmare that I long to wake from. Others its like spending eternity in hell.

My life at the moment is pretty screwed up. Just to be mild about it.

I think my dreams are just looking for a way out.

...well, I would have not wanted to sit on that bed for long either!

I suffer from depression too, and really never want to be, a zombie of the meds again!

Just try to stay positive, and stay around positive people!

Negative energy will always find a way to bring you down!

Keep busy, and I am here to listen, if you want to rant about your problems!

Hey my friend....

When I first got out of the Marines, because of the "situations" I "volunteered" for, I began to have very frightening and abstruse dreams.

Then I began my career and started in SWAT, eventually because of my self-abuse, or tendency to completely ignore what I was putting my psyche through, I was not sleeping more than 2 or 3 hours out of 24. For those that don't think a human can function on that little rest, you are wrong. Function, but not really live. My life, relationships and overall health began to suffer greatly.

As my marketable skills require me to either do what I do, or be a Mafia Hit Man, I chose to remain in my profession, but I understood that as strong as I thought I was, physically and mentally, I needed help.

Counseling.

One on one talking it all out with a professional. Of course I had to go through several, as most just wanted to medicate me and in my career, that is not an option. I eventually found a wonderful "self healing" advocate that taught me to "make friends" with my dreams.
I know that may sound silly, but it worked for me.

I still have real trouble sleeping at times, I'll go months with the nightmares coming at random times, in various scenarios, but if I work on them long enough, I can usually adapt....

I hope this helps you my friend.... U2U me if you want and I'll get into more detail about the Natural Self Healing Approach....

Semper

Don't get me wrong nightmares are the norm for me have been all of my life. I often have nightmares about slaughtering thousands upon thousands of people or decimating entire cities or committing mass genocide or some other horrific act. I have sense I can remember had those dreams. But offing myself is a new theme that I don't like very much.

I think you have a bad habit of some sort and your subconcious is trying to tell you to kick it. In your dream you think you're offing yourself, but I think it really means that you're going to cut off some aspect, behavior, habit, relationship currently in your life that may be part of your current problems.

But according to my various dream dictionaries, suicide in a dream foretells of a misfortune. Now since you've been having these dreams for a while, and going through problems, it would seem that you're already experiencing the misfortune being foretold.

I have meditated on your post worldwatcher and thought about it greatly. It may indeed be some aspect of my life that I wish would die. (read abso-freaking-loutly) I think the problem lies within the war that has been going on for the last two years between me and my ex wife. It has gotten to the point that I just don't want to fight it anymore and just want to be left alone.

well, therein lies your answer and solution.

I feel that once we establish what is the cause then we can deal with it.

Perhaps consciously you haven't realised how difficult this stage is?

Maybe your dreams/nightmares are releasing some of the emotions you don't feel when you are awake?

I once, during a difficult stage didn't know it, but cried in my sleep.
My Daughter would tell me. Obviously, it was a way of letting some of the emotions out and dealing with it.

well, peace be with you and all the best.

Talking about things really helps too so good you posted!

certainly a difficult situation to be in..

but are there concessions that can be made right now to help end this faster for you? Sure you could keep fighting for full custody or more visitation rights, but perhaps what you need right now to accept whatever it is that is being offered (temporarily) and then work towards changing it. Like if you can't see him everyday, you're allowed to talk to him everyday..

It's obviously coming through your dreams that you're on the verge of giving up in one aspect or another, so it may mean that you need to step back, reassess and work on yourself, and then go for it again.

You're not a bad person or father for not being with him when the circumstances are beyond your control. You can and will still have a great relationship with your son, just put yourself above her level and take it as it comes. You don't have to completely walk out of your son's life, just be there when as often as you are allowed to be until you can change it. My absolute best wishes for a positive outcome and future for you both.

Originally posted by whatukno
Leads one to just want to throw in the towel and off ones self.

No never do that! Don't ever give up.

If you love your child, then that would be the worst thing to do.

You have to believe that even though you may not see your child, you are with him every breath he takes and he is also with you. It is beyond the physical.

I feel you really just need a big howl.

Things may not be as you would like, your struggle continues and maybe it is as you feel, you are defeated before you even start. So, change your perspective here. You need to put on your long sighted glasses here.

Don't think short term, in the now, focus on the long term. In the immediate situation, perhaps it is a losing battle, but in the long term, it maybe total victory, the heart felt kind.

All that your child needs to know is that his Father loves him.

And all you need is faith and hope for the future.

Don't let go of hope and faith... sometimes in life, they are the only things that keep us going.

Cry, let the frustration, the fears all out. Recharge yourself with a new perspective and outlook.

I have had some terrible times that destroyed my will, but today I look back at these times and see that they were actually blessings in disguise.

Being defeated really is only a state of mind, that is loaded with emotions.

I feel everything is going to work out for you and I am not just saying that because things worked out for me, I just have that feeling.




[edit on 5-3-2008 by Thurisaz]

Originally posted by Thurisaz

No never do that! Don't ever give up.

I won't it just feels like that sometimes.

If you love your child, then that would be the worst thing to do.

Exactly why I haven't done it.

I feel everything is going to work out for you and I am not just saying that because things worked out for me, I just have that feeling.

I really wish I could share your optimism. Right now I have a hard time being optimistic about anything. I think that this will work itself out for the best a few years down the road. It's just going to be a long and painful few years.



[edit on 3/6/2008 by whatukno]

You're just under a lot of stress right now. You don't really want to DIE, and I know you know that! You're having anxiety dreams.

If it's really affecting your sleep like to the point where you feel like you're not getting enough oxygen, you're feeling very tired when you wake up or waking up frequently, you need to see a doctor for sleep terrors or sleep apnea.

But right now, talk to someone you really trust about what's going on in your life; maybe a counselor, therapist, psychologist, someone trustworthy. Get it off your chest.

I hope this helps. Feel better!!!