What Women Need to Know About Men

Originally posted by AccessDenied

15 Things Women should know about Men.

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will only cook if danger is involved.

It just adds abit of excitement i spose, we cook occasionally apparently plus BBQs are friggin nice.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

thats pretty harsh man lol .

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

I take it that we have somehow peeved you off lol? its just a vibe honestly

4. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

Its the paper man? it has interestin stuff in it orite?

5. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

I resent that.

6. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Thats because when the thing goes out you nag and nag (Yackity yack yack yack yack yack) To fix the bloody thing!

7. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. You'll never see a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

Its coz we are chilled out ? if we did that would be pretty silly wouldnt it?

8. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

Ill pay that...

9. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

We talk about you too lol dont you worry, well honestly it might not be you but your allways in our heads anyway.

10. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice, voluntarily.

Never seen it myself.

11. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget. He didn't lose your number. He didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

Since when is being free spirited a crime?

12. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you; I want to marry you; I want to have your children."

Ohhhh come on man thats a big step AD

13. Men are self confident because they grow up identifying with super heroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Barbie? personally i wouldnt tap one. so dont worry.

14. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

We cant hang around with you! you chicks are absolutely freaking lunatics when you go through that noise!

15. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

No, it looks sweet and you can see everything that way it happened in clear detail! technology dudette learn to use it !!! lol.

Omega

PS. In the time it took me to write this heaps of people have replied lol ,you may have hit a nerve.

PPS. Oni how could you?! you used to rock ... lol

[edit on 4/3/2008 by Omega85]

Great responses Omega.
For the record..
I NEVER NAG.
I'll ask him to do it once. If not then I'll go ahead and do it myself. If I make a mess or screw things up, he gets to fix THAT problem too.

reply to post by AccessDenied



Thats cold man..... lol

reply to post by Omega85


Whatever works mate...

Hmmmmmmm................ Now this makes me do some thinkin'....AND STUFF!

Yep I cook, and bake. Oh man. I can't believe I just admitted that. I like to barbecue as well. Nothing like starting a barbecue with WAY too much lighter fluid. I love the smell of my singed hair, reminds me of..........victory..........

And like if I decide not to call someone I can always come up with some really cool excuse. Yeah! I think my favorite one is to say "OMG last night, an alien beamed into my room! He lost his probe, and used my cell phone instead. I'm not putting that phone anywhere near my ear!" Yep. That one works real well.

I drink beer from a bottle, or a glass, or use a straw to sip up spilled beer, but I still like the keg to arm IV the best.

Mmmmmmmm sports............. I think I must be a real athlete. I know how to make a right hand turn! Let's see Jimmy Johnson do that.

Originally posted by lombozo


Mmmmmmmm sports............. I think I must be a real athlete. I know how to make a right hand turn! Let's see Jimmy Johnson do that.

That's JIMMIE Johnson..
and ahem...at least I pick a team that wins.



[edit on 4-3-2008 by AccessDenied]

Click here for more information.

reply to post by V Kaminski


Well I appreciate the kind sentiments! If you have to explain a joke then it makes no sense.
You may or may not like me, or what I have to write, however there is no reason for name calling.

reply to post by lombozo


We are LAUGHING at the sleaze you offer for port 80 consumption. You exemplify the "value-added" intangible entertainment aspects of the revolutionary ATS infux-tainment eco-system. "You" are what women need to "know" about men. "You" are the "type' their mothers warned them about. Hood ornamnet candidate or not. We enjoy LAUGHING at you and your global-cohort.

Vic

[edit on 4-3-2008 by V Kaminski]

reply to post by V Kaminski


AHEM...We don't do that here. And you know that. You also
know what happens when you do...MK.
Enough said.

reply to post by AccessDenied


Be wary. Be safe. Your "friends" actions are entertainment and whether "they" U2U me or not... I LOL. LAUGHING AT YOU AND "YOURS"!

Have a beer, order some food from Momma Poon's. Whatever occurs just know that "we" are around... ever-watching, ever-vigilant. Geez, you people leave huge public footprints. LOL. Plenty of trout in the lake.

Vic

reply to post by V Kaminski


Would you care to elaborate on what you mean by your above post Vic?

Funny stuff!

I know some of these apply to a lot of guys, but there are also guys that get offended when they fit the stereotype too well. Too bad for them.... can't we all just get along!?

Vic. And the problem with number 14 is?!

You know I feel lucky, I bagged one of the few men who can't stand professional sports. He obsesses over music instead, which works for me because so do I.

But there is nothing wrong with watching sports or hanging out with the guys and drinking too much beer from time to time just as I don't find any shame in just a little bit of gossip with your gal pals (only if it's true), an occasional chick flick and taking to much time preparing to look good.

reply to post by snowflake_obsidian


Hey snowflake...sounds like you got a good one.
I don't mind watching sports...motorsports. So it could be a tit for tat kinda thing. He watches his..I watch mine. Everything equal.
But the last beer in the fridge is MINE MINE MINE!!!

that is another thing, my man doesn't like beer either. Now, he doesn't like the frou frou stuff either so don't even think that route! He doesn't really like to drink in general, but if he does it's usually wine, the occasional rum and coke or the occasional shot of jagermeister or goldschlager.

So he doesn't watch sports and doesn't drink beer yet he isn't a stuffy businessman type. I must have hit the jackpot!