What Women Need to Know About Men

15 Things Women should know about Men.

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will only cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

5. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

6. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

7. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. You'll never see a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

8. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

9. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

10. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice, voluntarily.

11. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget. He didn't lose your number. He didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

12. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you; I want to marry you; I want to have your children."

13. Men are self confident because they grow up identifying with super heroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

14. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

15. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You know I might take offense if it werent so true.

Ohhh!

That is so true... men god dont ya love them

Oni x x

It's ALL completely true..

I've NEVER seen "The way we were" though. Yayyyy!

reply to post by AGENT_T


I've never seen it to be honest either...BORING

reply to post by AccessDenied


Ha Ha, it is funny, I dont believe weve met in the real world but you seem to know me so well...

When I cook theres always danger involved...not just restricted to barbecues.

Off topic: A.D. you changed your signature, nooooooo...... the other one was so cool...

Take care,

JQ.

reply to post by John Q

John..it's just a guy thing with BBQ's..and stuff

As for my sig..no fear..it will make it's way around again.

What bothers me when I see things like this with the way far out stereotypes, is that some men will always chime and talk about how true it all is.

I have... so very, very little... in common with other men. :shk:

reply to post by AccessDenied

I guess I'm not much of a man then.
Or... a type of man that you will never ever know.

edit : just found the emoticon

[edit on Mon, 3 Mar 08 by Jazzyguy]

reply to post by AccessDenied


"We" are considering this exposition of disposition... it is unclear at this time what level of retaliation will be proffered as an equitable recourse for this social intercourse-bourse. Of course you know... THIS MEANS WAR.

Espionage is a long held diplomatic skill and a pre-cursor to any meaningful comprehensive double-cross-gendered reply. We already had an NLP firing solution in the can... consort consultations are an ipso facto treat. New idio-neurologic weapons systems may be employed. This will be co-operatively explored laterally and horizontally amongst those who practice the luxury of the reed-induction boogie within this domicile. We promise not to use the "Mercer Device", however if you see an airborne Elvira Kurt approaching at high velocity...

No CBC employees were harmed during the composition of this communique.

Vic

[edit on 3-3-2008 by V Kaminski]

Oh good one Vic..really good.
JazzyGuy, Bachelor..it's all in good fun. Really. I started a thread about women as well so I covered both bases there.
Iam nowhere near like any other women I know.
I hate to gossip.
I hate drinking tea.
I drink my beer straight from the bottle. Bring me a glass and Iam offended.
I very nicely spit a piece of gum to the ground, not dispose of it politely into a tissue. (sorry but I do).
I curse very frequently.
I never cross my legs when I sit. (For the women who don't know why..it causes those ugly veins in your legs.)
I really couldn't care less what I weigh, or how many calories are in a king size chocolate bar.I just eat it because I want to.
I do put my elbows on the table.
I do burp loudly after drinking soda..but I will say excuse me.
I HATE CHICK FLICKS!!!!! Gimme an action movie please, so I don't fall asleep.
No slow music either..sappy mushy ballads..BLECH!
OK..enough said.
I probably just gave a few the reason to look at me in an entire different light.

Originally posted by AccessDenied





15. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

Thats why you should never lie to a woman because they will remember it years later wayyyyy after you even forgot what you even lied about. Also, never try to hide anything from a woman, because they find out EVERYTHING!!!

reply to post by hikix


But of course Hikix..that's what we do best.
Why I remember the time that you....Oh nevermind.

Originally posted by AccessDenied
I never cross my legs when I sit

So YOU're the one who started that trend!! I thought it's Lindsey... or is it Britney?

Originally posted by AccessDenied



12. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you; I want to marry you; I want to have your children."

OMG!!!! That is just so good. Wish I had thought of that through the years. LOL.

Originally posted by AccessDenied

15. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

This one made me laugh. Oh that is just so TRUE!!!!!

It isn't the stereotypes that bother me, those are a dime a dozen as some moron thought them all up many years ago and they're just passed around from person to person ever since.

What gets me is that on every forum from here to the moon, you'll find something similar to your OP here. And every time there are people laughing about it and saying how true it all is, blah blah etc. etc. etc. The problem is that it is never true, not in my case. Everytime I see a joke list of these male stereotypes, I look for anything at all that would apply to me personally and none of it ever, ever does. And yet... there's always a handful of other guys that will chime in and say "Oooooo that's so true haw haw harr harr hawwwwww". lol.

Just confuses me a bit, that's all.

You forgot the two most important things.

Really, you're over complicating us. Jeff Foxworthy narrowed it down to two things, making it very succinct.

Do you want to know what they are? As Mr. Foxworthy said, " we want a beer and we want to see something naked."

That's it really. I think women try to make men more complex than they are because they are complicated themselves.



Guys, do you agree with that? Oh, I also like to smoke me a nice cigar once in a while too.


[edit on 3-3-2008 by thehumbleone]

15 Things Men Should Know About Women.

1. Women shouldn't be required to cook. It's dangerous and doesn't allow one to display their abilities as a good provider.

2. Women shouldn't pierce too many body parts as it gives them too many places to display various gems to their friends.

3. Marry? Fine. Fine for some... the great ones possess no such need of paper.

4. Women NEED to be first in the bathroom in the morning. Really. Get your own outhouse.

5. A superior venue for meeting eligible women is at the stables.

6. Women are sensitive in strange ways. If a woman has a favorite foundation or lip-stick and it's taken out of production they take it personally.

7. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. Men are trivial accessories compared to the "right" clothing for a specific occaision.

8. No woman is charming all of the time. Much of the time is spent in "charm-supporting" activities.

9. When four or more women get together, they talk about their sport; men. When four or more men get together, they talk about women eventually.

10. Women are less sentimental than men. No woman has ever seen the movie "The Battle of Britan" twice, voluntarily.

11. If a woman says, "I'll call you," and she doesn't, she didn't forget. She didn't lose your number. She didn't die. She just didn't want to call you.

12. Getting rid of a woman without absolutely destroying her sense of femininity is a problem. "Get thee gone" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you truly want to get rid of a woman, I suggest saying, "Threesome with your two sisters".

13. Women are self confident because they grow up having "to do" for themselves. Men may have negative self images because they grow up with small appendages peculiar to the male of the species.

14. Female menopause is a lot more fun than male menopause. With female menopause you gain a fiery beast unquenchably relentless when motivated. With male menopause, you get to date younger, less motivated women and play with sailboats and airplanes.

15. Women can be made to forget most anything; it starts at a carat. It's the only way a man can remember or find anything... Honey? Where'd I put my good glasses. No, the other good glasses. I left them where? Really? That was last week. Thanks Babes. Now what was I talking about?

Vic

[edit on 4-3-2008 by V Kaminski]

Originally posted by AccessDenied




15 Things Women should know about Men.

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will only cook if danger is involved.

I cook for a living. Nothing dangerous. Well most of the time.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I disagree. I have earrings and have experienced way to much pain. I am not prepared for marraige. Although I am open to the idea.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

50% of first marriages end in divorce. 74% of second ones do. Serious recycling.

4. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

True

5. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

I have my own washer and dryer, does that count?

6. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

True

7. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. You'll never see a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

True

8. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

True.

9. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

Or politics. Or women, usually naked women. Or crazy women. Or beer.

10. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice, voluntarily.

Haven't seen it once.

11. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget. He didn't lose your number. He didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

True. Most of the time. I have actually lost the number.

12. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you; I want to marry you; I want to have your children."

Depends on what she looks like. But mostly true.

13. Men are self confident because they grow up identifying with super heroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

So freakin' true. Sad really

14. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

And I am so loking forward to it.

15. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

Not true. I have a very very long memory.

Great thread AD.

originally posted by thehumbleone
" we want a beer and we want to see something naked."

So very very true.

Humbleone...I have to say that is a great contribution.
REDNECK STYLE.

**** Vic..LOVE THE REWRITE.

AD