My Dad, the Idiot...

I love my Step Dad and all, he's helped me in the past, but the man is a complete idiot...
and I don't mean that in the uneducated type of way as much as I do the closed-minded un-rationalized sort of way.
Is it possible to love someone but have no respect for them whatsoever?
I mean, if someone on the street, or even here on ATS, told me what I'm about to tell you he told me, I would immediately ignore them, or peck fight.

ok ok, so why am I going on like this?
I'll tell you...

I'm the type of person who tries to see the good in people (and its hard i admit, and yeah, i f**k up occasionally). I'm very open minded, and realize that I'm not hot sh*t. There is plenty more out there for me to learn, and even more room for us to grow as a species.
I'm not anti-war, but i don't like it at all, and disagree with many of the wars of our past, and current, even though I'm about to join the military...

Heres the convo with my dad in a nut shell:

My Step Dad, likes to tell me how we should just NUKE Iraq, and that he would have no remorse if EVERYONE in that country died...

At first i thought he only said that to get a rise out of me, but upon a further discussion with him today, no, it turns out he actually feels that way...

I'm like WHAT!!! how could you even say that. do you have no regard for human life???
Sure bad things are happening over there, yeah some people are terrorists or whatever, but there are civilians out there just like you and me who are just trying to survive!

He goes on to say that God killed innocent people in the past (he claims to be a Christian) and that basically its the best way to solve the problem...

Ok, well are you God??? Who are you to pass that judgment!? God wants us to live together and treat our fellow man how we want to be treated... that doesnt mean only people from your country, that means EVERYONE...
I told him that we've made those types of mistakes before (ie: Japan) and he told me the only mistake was not following through and going all the way with it!!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!

Seriously, out in the real world I would look at this type of person with no respect, no regard, and as basically the worst type of people in existence in OUR society today...
How can a person not understand that this close minded outlook on life only holds people apart?
Had he been born a few years earlier he would have made a great Hitler.

anyway, I just had to vent that out, Im stuck in a house with a complete retard...

I can't wait to leave for basic...



Help...

Sorry hon,

Tell your dad i have a message for him: I have my tongue sticking out and my fingers in my ears cause i dont want to hear what he has to say.

I was ready to come here and lecture you as to your dad, respect and all that until i read your post.

I totally agree with YOU. All due respect to dad, of course.

reply to post by dgtempe


What She said!!!!!!

I have had relatives in my life that were like that as well...

I just quit talking to them. Solved my problem.

Semper

I'm sure he doesn't really mean that, I mean c'mon... he's not so evil he'd wipe out an entire nation literally. It's probably just his way of easing stress a bit. Cut the guy some slack.

reply to post by Odessy


I don't think he is the only American who thinks that way. He's part of the reason that some other countries (not the general population, but radicals) in the world would like nothing more than to see all of us Americans nuked out of existance.

Does he think it would be ok if one of those other countries should go "all the way with us"?

I mean would he agree with his twisted logic if the shoe was on the other foot for America?

Ask him if you dare. I'd love to hear his answer! :bnghd:

Thanks for the replies guys.

He wasnt always like this, but has been since I've come back from college.

And like I said earlier, he always used to say it after a few beers, just to piss me off i think...
I had convos with my mom about it and she says she doesnt talk to him about that kind of stuff.
Thats why I decided to have a serious convo with him today about it and sure enough, thats how he feels.

When I told him I was going to join the service, he said cool you get to kill people!
I told him, yeah, thats actually NOT why I'm joining, I'm joining to HELP people...
He then said he doesnt see the point of joining unless you get to kill Iraqis...
Then threw in the nuke thing again...

Anyway, after the convo I had with him today, I told him to never bring that up with me again.
He said its ok, we just have a difference of opinion...
I told him, perhaps, but I can hold a conversation with someone that has a different opinion than I do that actually have some backing to what they are saying...

well, thanks for listening, it feels good to tell some people about it rather than keep it in...

I just don't know how to deal with people like that.

[edit on 29-2-2008 by Odessy]

reply to post by Bachelor


Bachelor, I hoped that too...
I just don't know why he would continue to portray that that is what he really believes...

I can try to just ignore it, and think to myself that hes just ignorant...

he might actually get me to start praying again lol

reply to post by Enthralled Fan


lol thanks, but yeah, I think that if I told him other countries dont like us his head would explode

I wouldn't call him an idiot, he does have the ability to recognize that your opinons on the subject are incompatible. It is unfortunate that he does feel the way he does. I will be honest I have not had any issue with this war other than the fact that it was executed poorly and they were not truthful about the reasons for it. there were many good issues and reasons for it they did not have to make up a fantasy to convince people of it. It was oen of those things that should have been done under Clinton but unfortunately was not. But many peolpe do feel that it would just be easier to nuke the region and be done with the headache that it causes on a daily basis for the last 40 years or so. then to unravel the complex politics and social issues that cause the trouble.

reply to post by Odessy


While I totally agree with your views on this situation, I might be able to shed some light on this kind of thinking. I've been witness to the same kinds of opinions, and to some degree, I can even understand it.

The fact is, many people are looking at this situation from a completely different perspective. People like my dad and your step-dad are from a generation where things weren't as politically correct as they are now, and as such, they have a very "base" view of what can and should be the response to certain things. Now, to better understand their thinking, we need to see it from their perspective.

The best way to see this is from their eyes. They see the things that have happened, and the things that continue to happen, and can't understand why there can't be an end to it all. The fighting between Israel and Palestine is a perfect example. Even I feel as though someone just needs to WIN that war already. That battle has been going on for over 4000 years, off and on of course. All of the current events seem localized to us simply because we haven't been around to see the rest of them, and what led to the new incidents. The same can be said for other conflicts.

Our parents see wars fought, where countless men and women go off and fight and die, and yet nothing gets resolved. They, like any rational human, ask why this has to be the case? They also ask what the point to war is, if it's not to WIN?? Honestly, I cannot even answer that one. I mean, if we're willing to allow our best and brightest young men and women of the new generations to go off and kill others, and get killed by the droves, then we should just win the war as fast as possible, right?

If we now factor into this the unbridled hatred shared by some groups, such as the Israelis and Palestinians that I mentioned above, how can a feasible resolution be sought when both sides simply want the other removed? They cannot be MADE to live together in happiness. It's simply not possible. Animosity is bred into them at a very young age, as a result of the 4000 year on war that they've had.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that sometimes, very straightforward and overwhelming force could be justified, if the parameters were set beforehand. This is NO WAY means that I condone such actions, as I'm a pacifist by nature, and want nothing but the best for people. I'm merely trying to shed some light on the older generation's thinking.

Please understand that I'm not advocating anything of the nature spoken of above. I'm just trying to help others to understand another view.

Long live Freedom and Democracy,

TheBorg

reply to post by TheBorg


Wow! I understand what you are trying to say here, but this is how I see it. People like the OP's step father are just really out of touch with reality. I say this because my parents were the same way. They only think of themselves or their immediately family, not realizing that like the OP said, the people they just want to do away with are merely trying to survive just like they are.

As far as wars that have not accomplished anything? What about WW1 and WW2? Some older people think that America should control everything, and save the day, because it worked in those 2 cases. My parents were alive during both of those wars, and insist that the world was saved by American involvement, justifying things like bombing Hiroshima, which killed thousands of innocent people. They thought it was ok to stick innocent people of Japanese decent on American soil into detention camps.

I dunno, older people can have some funky logic. This is maybe a little off topic, but for instance, my Dad freaked out when he retired and gas prices started rising, cutting in to his fixed income. To him, this was a justification for getting rid of all the Arabs who control oil (but what he meant was all Arabs) Pretty scary. Yet people like him who complain have no problem sitting in traffic with thousands of other cars that only have one occupant in them. Duh! How dare those Arabs ruin his day by making him pay more at the pump!

reply to post by TheBorg


Hey TheBorg,
Thanks for the insight. I get the different generation thing, it just seems to me that people should realize all the mistakes of our past and try not to repeat them.
But I understand you don't feel that way, although I am inclined to say my step dad's way of thinking is more like how Enthralled Fan described above.

reply to post by Enthralled Fan


Well, I would say you've hit the nail on the head, and as unfortunate as it is, I'm happy there is someone else that has/had to put up with this same crap from there parents.
I've also talked to my dad about the subjects you've mentioned and he responded the same way.
When it had to do with the 2 Nukes we set on Japan, I told him I had the opinion that the first one was uncalled for, but I can see how we were just testing it out, but there was no excuse for the 2nd one, especially since they gave up after the 1st drop!
I'm sure his response was much like your fathers...
Well, we should have dropped another one and taught those bastards a lesson blah blah blah...

The immediate family thing is absolutely right, if it doesn't effect them in their own cozy (or uncozy) world, then it doesnt really matter what happens.

reply to post by Odessy


I have to agree with your views on this one, the problem is, some people just get set in their ways..

Maybe you should get him to join ATS, could open his mind to all possibilities and outcomes...

Its working for me..

Regards,

JQ.

John,

Thanks for the advice.
I would LOVE to get my parents to join ATS!

I could probably get my mom to join, I already tell her a bunch of info I discover from this site.
Unfortunately, as soon as my dad finds out that people believe in UFOs, or that people think the govt planned 9/11, he would immediately call ALL of us Idiots and disregard the site as a bunch of morons getting together talking about moronic subjects lol.

You know how there are people that you would never discuss some of the information you find out on ATS about?
Well, hes one of them!

But Gratz on getting your parents to join!
Thats awesome!
I'll try and get my mom on it.

"Im stuck in a house with a complete retard... "

This is a great quote, I bet Bush Sr. has said this to himself many times when he was home with Bush Jr.

Unfortunatly there are many people who believe the way your dad does, I have a couple of people close to me who feel the same way and unfortunatly they feel that way because they are racist plain and simple.

But mostly I think some people just want an easy solution to a complicated problem.

Good morning Odessy,
I am going out on a limb here as a parent and of a parent as a military person.
This is no way as an excuse for your Step-Father's opinions, as I believe his opinion is a nasty expression.
Parents have been raising kids the many past years with rumors of the draft being reinstalled and watching our kids go into the military, only to be fast tracked in training, and placed in positions of combat unprepared.
Could his attitude and comments be because he just wants it to be over so that you would not be in danger? Just my opinion on looking at him in a little different light. Being a parent doesn't come with a book on how to speak to your kids or how to deal with the absolute terror of having your child put into a dangerous position.
Also, as you will be heading into the service, time to put your thick skin on. The nasty comments are comming, not just from family and public from each other in different branches.
Best of luck to you
Skip

Thanks skip,

I get what your trying to say.

Thing is, I'm 23 years old, just graduated college, and he was saying this sort of stuff before I even told him I was going to join the service.

I just talked to my mom about it, she doesnt have a clue. But shes been upset with him before about saying things like that.
I guess the biggest thing is that he tries to get me to go to church and stuff and then mocks me for not going... well, yeah, nothing against the church and christians, but I think hes one of those people the pastors talk about that say they are christians but dont act any differently when they step outside of church.

I can take sh*t from people, I've dealt with a lot of stupid people, and in a verbal match can usually turn out the winner... usually...
I just don't know how to deal with it when its in your own home and better yet, when its a family member...

I think the best solution is to hold strong to my beliefs, continue to act the way I do, and perhaps later he'll start seeing that I have a better outlook on life than he does...

lets hope...

But thanks again for what you said, I could totally see that situation if I were younger and was thinking of joining.

See yas

"I think the best solution is to hold strong to my beliefs, continue to act the way I do, and perhaps later he'll start seeing that I have a better outlook on life than he does... "

This is a good attitude to have. I am glad you are the bigger person. Too often kids walk away from their parents after a difference of opinion. Keep your chin up, and good luck in the military, with your attitude you are sure to make changes.

Skip