Okay, I admit it! I need help!
When I joined ATS a few months ago, I was referred here by a friend, because I was seeking answers to some strange events in my life. Don't know why
for sure, but I felt that it was E.T. related. Sorry, but no solid facts for anyone. Shortly after my entrance here, my focus shifted completely away
from that subject. It was if I never had any concerns in that area.
Instead my attention diverted to subjects such as; Origins of Humankind, Ancient texts, study of religion, vaccinations, effects of fluoride in
drinking water, the illuminatti, etc.
I felt like, 'one driven.' Like I couldn't absorb enough, fast enough. I have devoted many hours here in front of my pc. Much of my studies have
been shared here on ATS.
In some of my posts you would find that I had begun having strange experiences, which I chose to call dreams. They were so vivid upon awakening, that
I would rush myself from the bed, knowing that I had to write them down. Something told me that I needed to retain the memory because it was very
important. But every time, the memory slipped away from me. I wish I could give you all an idea of what they were specifically about, but I can't.
The only thing I can report is that they seemed to be visions of enlightenment. I was even given a member's ID here at ATS. We had never crossed
paths to my knowledge. I was instructed to contact that person for further help. I did. This member gave me homework. I would like to say that the HW
is completed, but it isn't. The original webpage referral has many links to follow. And I intend to follow them. But I keep getting interrupted, due
to reading something that will set me on a new path of study. I believe this member was very wise. We have had virtually no contact since the original
introduction and HW.
There is evidence of psychic ability in my family. It shows up differently in each person. I have one relative in particular, who is an infamous
psychic of sorts. This individual is often used by the FBI.
My own abilities fall very short of this individual. At least, the FBI doesn't ask for my opinion. LOL! My talent lies more in the area of being able
to sense something. I don't wish to bore you with the details, that's not what this topic is about. Just laying the groundwork for why I take
certain things to heart.
Anyway, I have read some of the threads here on ET's and abductions, and I am not sure that they fit me. Maybe that was why my interest in their
Very recently I began to experience some very unusual physical symptoms that do not make much sense. Some of them are a bit personal and I do not wish
to broadcast. Maybe I can say more when I see my doctor. I can tell you this; Most mornings when I awaken, there is a stupid hillbilly jingle, stuck
in my head. I do not know it's source. Maybe it is from a TV ad. The background music seems to be bluegrass and the words are muffled and unclear
until the last word; which is a strong and clear pronunciation of, 'REE-AL-I-TEE(Reality)'
When the sudden onslaught of physical attacks began, I synonymized the situation with a thread I was doing. After careful consideration, I believe
that I was totally incorrect on that assumption.
When I awoke this morning, after only 4 hours sleep, I found myself still in the same position that I had fallen asleep in (on my back). That sounds
normal enough, right? It should have been, except that I had another one of those enlightening dream/visions. I started to spring from my bed and
hurry to my desk, certain this time that I could remember it and write it down.
My first attempt at movement brought on excruciating pain. The back of my skull and neck was sore and bruised. You might could say that I slept wrong
to cause this. It is possible. The next awareness was a feeling that my backside had been invaded.
I had a sudden onset of problems last week that involved that area, that in itself was weird. I will give you a link to the thread where I posted the
entirety of this situation, so that I do not have to repeat myself. You will also read there, that I had gotten past that situation. Now, almost the
same thing is back. Except that there is no mass evident in the area.
I wish that I could post all the reasons of my concern (that something is not right), but some of them are very personal to me and I am not
comfortable revealing every little thing about myself. Please understand.
I can tell you that my mental health is sound, I have enjoyed employment in my past, that demanded mental clarity. I have also worked with the
mentally ill a bit and I think it is safe to say that I am not schizophrenic or psychotic.
Let me also say that I am not making any wild claims here. All I can say for sure, is that something is out-of-kilter. And it seems to get worse
instead of better. It almost seems like my inner mind is trying to reveal something to me and I cannot retain it.
I feel that I have pretty much ruled out ET involvement; so I took a look at the MK-Ultra mind control possibilities. Some of that might fit, except
for one thing...I am no one of special significance. I do not work in any scientific fields. I have an average to high IQ, but I don't see it being
of great interest to anyone.
I admit that I have brief spells of paranoia, but I am ususally able to confront them with sensible facts and laugh them off. For example: You're
sitting at home with the front door open to get fresh air, when you get a strong feeling that you should get up and lock the door. This is probably
one of the more consistent ones. But as I said, I confront and dismiss. I have yet to get up and lock the door.
I honestly did not know the best place to put this, and if I have chosen wrongly, I will be okay with the mods moving it. I chose the Paranormal area,
because it is the last thing that came to mind to look into and there does seem to be some psychic phenomena involved.
As I have said several times, At this time, I have no facts or solid evidence that anything is out of the ordinary. With the exception of the
mysterious mass that formed in my perineal area, that the ER doctor refused to even touch. You'll find a full explanation of this in this thread. It
is a very short thread and the posts I am referring to are within the last ones submitted on page 1.
If it were just the physical problems alone, you would not be reading this post. There is a deep KNOWING that something isn't right. Most of you guys
have been at this stuff, a lot longer than I have, so I am appealing to you for ideas and suggestions. Please try to be civil in your replies. I am
not claiming anything, I am asking.