Okay, I Admit It, ATS I Need Your Help

Okay, I admit it! I need help!

When I joined ATS a few months ago, I was referred here by a friend, because I was seeking answers to some strange events in my life. Don't know why for sure, but I felt that it was E.T. related. Sorry, but no solid facts for anyone. Shortly after my entrance here, my focus shifted completely away from that subject. It was if I never had any concerns in that area.
Instead my attention diverted to subjects such as; Origins of Humankind, Ancient texts, study of religion, vaccinations, effects of fluoride in drinking water, the illuminatti, etc.
I felt like, 'one driven.' Like I couldn't absorb enough, fast enough. I have devoted many hours here in front of my pc. Much of my studies have been shared here on ATS.
In some of my posts you would find that I had begun having strange experiences, which I chose to call dreams. They were so vivid upon awakening, that I would rush myself from the bed, knowing that I had to write them down. Something told me that I needed to retain the memory because it was very important. But every time, the memory slipped away from me. I wish I could give you all an idea of what they were specifically about, but I can't. The only thing I can report is that they seemed to be visions of enlightenment. I was even given a member's ID here at ATS. We had never crossed paths to my knowledge. I was instructed to contact that person for further help. I did. This member gave me homework. I would like to say that the HW is completed, but it isn't. The original webpage referral has many links to follow. And I intend to follow them. But I keep getting interrupted, due to reading something that will set me on a new path of study. I believe this member was very wise. We have had virtually no contact since the original introduction and HW.
There is evidence of psychic ability in my family. It shows up differently in each person. I have one relative in particular, who is an infamous psychic of sorts. This individual is often used by the FBI.
My own abilities fall very short of this individual. At least, the FBI doesn't ask for my opinion. LOL! My talent lies more in the area of being able to sense something. I don't wish to bore you with the details, that's not what this topic is about. Just laying the groundwork for why I take certain things to heart.
Anyway, I have read some of the threads here on ET's and abductions, and I am not sure that they fit me. Maybe that was why my interest in their research dwindled.
Very recently I began to experience some very unusual physical symptoms that do not make much sense. Some of them are a bit personal and I do not wish to broadcast. Maybe I can say more when I see my doctor. I can tell you this; Most mornings when I awaken, there is a stupid hillbilly jingle, stuck in my head. I do not know it's source. Maybe it is from a TV ad. The background music seems to be bluegrass and the words are muffled and unclear until the last word; which is a strong and clear pronunciation of, 'REE-AL-I-TEE(Reality)'
When the sudden onslaught of physical attacks began, I synonymized the situation with a thread I was doing. After careful consideration, I believe that I was totally incorrect on that assumption.
When I awoke this morning, after only 4 hours sleep, I found myself still in the same position that I had fallen asleep in (on my back). That sounds normal enough, right? It should have been, except that I had another one of those enlightening dream/visions. I started to spring from my bed and hurry to my desk, certain this time that I could remember it and write it down.
My first attempt at movement brought on excruciating pain. The back of my skull and neck was sore and bruised. You might could say that I slept wrong to cause this. It is possible. The next awareness was a feeling that my backside had been invaded.
I had a sudden onset of problems last week that involved that area, that in itself was weird. I will give you a link to the thread where I posted the entirety of this situation, so that I do not have to repeat myself. You will also read there, that I had gotten past that situation. Now, almost the same thing is back. Except that there is no mass evident in the area.
I wish that I could post all the reasons of my concern (that something is not right), but some of them are very personal to me and I am not comfortable revealing every little thing about myself. Please understand.
I can tell you that my mental health is sound, I have enjoyed employment in my past, that demanded mental clarity. I have also worked with the mentally ill a bit and I think it is safe to say that I am not schizophrenic or psychotic.
Let me also say that I am not making any wild claims here. All I can say for sure, is that something is out-of-kilter. And it seems to get worse instead of better. It almost seems like my inner mind is trying to reveal something to me and I cannot retain it.
I feel that I have pretty much ruled out ET involvement; so I took a look at the MK-Ultra mind control possibilities. Some of that might fit, except for one thing...I am no one of special significance. I do not work in any scientific fields. I have an average to high IQ, but I don't see it being of great interest to anyone.
I admit that I have brief spells of paranoia, but I am ususally able to confront them with sensible facts and laugh them off. For example: You're sitting at home with the front door open to get fresh air, when you get a strong feeling that you should get up and lock the door. This is probably one of the more consistent ones. But as I said, I confront and dismiss. I have yet to get up and lock the door.
I honestly did not know the best place to put this, and if I have chosen wrongly, I will be okay with the mods moving it. I chose the Paranormal area, because it is the last thing that came to mind to look into and there does seem to be some psychic phenomena involved.
As I have said several times, At this time, I have no facts or solid evidence that anything is out of the ordinary. With the exception of the mysterious mass that formed in my perineal area, that the ER doctor refused to even touch. You'll find a full explanation of this in this thread. It is a very short thread and the posts I am referring to are within the last ones submitted on page 1.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

If it were just the physical problems alone, you would not be reading this post. There is a deep KNOWING that something isn't right. Most of you guys have been at this stuff, a lot longer than I have, so I am appealing to you for ideas and suggestions. Please try to be civil in your replies. I am not claiming anything, I am asking.

In the event that some of you might think that I am reacting to things in my studies; Let me say this, "I thought of it first!" But then I remembered that there were things going on before I joined ATS and began my course of studies. That is the reason I am here. Remember?

[edit on 27-2-2008 by h3akalee]

Ok first off i suggest you move your dreampad and pen really close to where you sleep.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

[edit on 27-2-2008 by h3akalee]

Originally posted by h3akalee
Ok first off i suggest you move your dreampad and pen really close to where you sleep.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

[edit on 27-2-2008 by h3akalee]

Thank you h3akalee,
Lol! Sometimes the simplest of solutions escape us.
Sizzle slaps herself on the head and says, "Why didn't I think of that?"

EDIT: AARGHH! Maybe I am losing my mind. My homework friend suggested that to me. And I put the pad by my bed. Then the dream visions stopped, and then I changed residences from one town to another, and forgot about putting the pad back by the bed. This morning is the first D/V I have had since I moved to my new location.

[edit on 27-2-2008 by sizzle]

reply to post by sizzle

I'm a little bit confused as to what exactly you are seeking help with/for, can you clarify this a little. Thanks

I would be interested in your homework topic's if you could share them with me i would maybe enjoy that.

Help you with your homework lol.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

Originally posted by Winefried
reply to post by sizzle

 

I'm a little bit confused as to what exactly you are seeking help with/for, can you clarify this a little. Thanks

Thank you winefried,
I was just about to post that, when I refreshed the page and saw your request. I realized that I have been too vague to get appropriate help. I was hoping that some of the symptoms that I posted, might ring a bell with a fellow-sufferer or one who has knowledge of what is really going on.
I would also like to ask if anyone has any ideas on how I can retain these memories of the dream/visions, etc., or why I might be having them. I am willing to hear any thoughts or suggestions.

[edit on 27-2-2008 by sizzle]

Originally posted by h3akalee
I would be interested in your homework topic's if you could share them with me i would maybe enjoy that.

Help you with your homework lol.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

I suppose I could do that. You will need to give me a few minutes to find the original link. I would appreciate all the help I can get. Thanks.

reply to post by sizzle


The way i remember my dream's is pretty simple i imagine my dream as a important phone number and repeat it over and over.

Then it's just there.

If i dont do this then it's gone.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

Originally posted by h3akalee
reply to post by sizzle

 

The way i remember my dream's is pretty simple i imagine my dream as a important phone number and repeat it over and over.

Then it's just there.

If i dont do this then it's gone.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

In a sense, that is also what I am doing, all the way to my desk. Then the memory is just completely gone. It is a very strange feeling. There are times that I found myself sobbing because I could not retain it. That's when I was enlightened to contact a certain ATS member.

For those that didn't read the posts that I provided the link for in the OP, I have a dr's appt. today at 2:00 (CST)
Maybe I will have a few more answers then.

I was reluctant to post this, but after much thought...maybe I should.
Two very odd things happened today, in addition to what I have already posted.
Since I have the dr's appt, I decided to just have a light snack, rather than making breakfast.
#1. I opened a brand new jar of peanut butter that I had just bought since my recent move. I twisted the lid off and it was half gone. There was no protective seal, and you could see fork marks. Personally, I use a butter knife for P-butter.

#2. I opened a 2-liter bottle of diet soda, that I had opened the night before. There was a smell of petroleum product, strong enough to knock me down. It was not like that last night.

I am being very cautious with anything else i post on this thread just be aware that there are some thing's i might ask you over U2U.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

Originally posted by h3akalee
I am being very cautious with anything else i post on this thread just be aware that there are some thing's i might ask you over U2U.

Take care.

Regards
Lee

I just had a terrible thought. Don't have time to go into details right now, but will later. But I just had an overwhelming feeling, that maybe my soon to be ex, has found me. I have been in hiding for 2 years.

EDIT: Of course that would only answer the diet coke and P-butter issue. I will add for now, that he made an attempt on my life for insurance purposes.

[edit on 27-2-2008 by sizzle]

There are these door and window alarms that go off if anyone opens them!

I'd get those.
Also, if you feel sick from being near electric devices, I would put a layer of tin foil(no I'm serious) over EVERY outlet and the back of your monitor and the back of your T.V.
I believe I had E.M. radiation, I don't know how, but, it worked for me!
I have since been able to quit it.

[edit on 27-2-2008 by Clearskies]

Originally posted by Clearskies
There are these door and window alarms that go off if anyone opens them!

I'd get those.
Also, if you feel sick from being near electric devices, I would put a layer of tin foil(no I'm serious) over EVERY outlet and the back of your monitor and the back of your T.V.
I believe I had E.M. radiation, I don't know how, but, it worked for me!
I have since been able to quit it.

[edit on 27-2-2008 by Clearskies]

Thank you clearskies,
I always enjoy hearing from you. I believe that I might have ruled out the electrical issue. I am hoping that the dr I am seeing today will have some answers.

im fairly cretin I cant help, but, have you ever tried to lucid dream before? I know you said you have vivid dreams. have you ever had a dream where you know your dreaming?

I have read it can help deal with things bubbling around in your conscience. I used to try. kept a dream journals and everything. I only did it twice, for a very short period. gave up trying. im kind of impatient about those things.

you seem like a very reasonable person. I wish you luck.

[edit on 27-2-2008 by JSR]

Originally posted by JSR
im fairly cretin I cant help, but, have you ever tried to lucid dream before? I know you said you have vivid dreams. have you ever had a dream where you know your dreaming?

I have read I can help deal with things bubbling around in your conscience. I used to try. kept a dream journals and everything. I only did it twice, for a very short period. gave up trying. im kind of impatient about those things.

you seem like a very reasonable person. I wish you luck.

Thank you JSR,
I have had what you call lucid dreaming, but a doctor, some years ago, told me that it was sleeping paralysis. I would love to keep a dream journal, if I could remember them long enough to write them down.

reply to post by sizzle


no, im not talking about sleep paralysis where your awake but cant move. ( very creepy stuff BTW ) im mean where your in the middle of a dream and you stop and say to your self, " hey..im dreaming." "there is no way I ever painted my house white with yellow polka dots."

apparently, when you have become aware that you are in a dream state, you are lucid dreaming. as you know, in a dream you can do anything, and go anywhere. one can explore the many aspects of sub-conscience without the completely aware and alert filters our thoughts go through while awake.

like I said, I gave up on it. but I do remember some of the methods of getting there. just not what to do when there. I never really got that far. it takes a lot of dedication.

one thing is to keep a dream journal. start by recording everything that you can remember about every dream you have. each night that is. then re-read the journal before you sleep every night. after about a month or so, go back through and note the recurring "symbols". things like, for intance mine were, staircases, crowds of people, flying or being up in the air, things like that. when you find yourself confronted with those things you ask your self, in all seriousness, " am I dreaming." one day, or night, the answer will be yes.

there are lots of books about this sort of thing out there. I chose a very scientific approach, or should I say book to read.

hope it helps some.