The confidence illusion

reply to post by orangetom1999


Well I agree with everything here. The only problem is the dating market. In other words here in the USA, a woman can find a guy to go along with the standard agenda. There are many fish in the sea from her perspective too. And most women are aggressive about playing the field. Fine let them age out of their fertile years, it's their choice.

But with those excluded there are not that many left. Adding the world's supply of women, who on average are less determined to be game players, improves things markedly from a market perspective.

I agree with what you say but for what it's worth my approach was different. I let several girls think I should be one way but I was just another. Didn't achieve much that way, the relationships broke down, but it was OK because I didn't get stuck and was never a slave for them, begging for their approval. They just found that they were having confusing experiences with me. I didn't bother to discuss it with them, not my job. Just moved on.

reply to post by orangetom1999




Guys, you really have a treasure here, if orangetom is a woman. When I was dating and had to play that game, I will boast that I figured out much of what she's saying for myself, by effort and quiet investigation. The knowledge allowed me to stay sane more or less in the process and succeed on my own terms, but with some compromise. Marriage is a compromise, but indeed value must come from both sides.

This lady is telling you the inside truth. The sort of thing most women are not cognitive enough to know, or unwilling face, and certainly not very interested in communicating!

Thank you orangetom. You are doing a service for healthy productive relationships and the next generation of babies to be born in good stable marriages.

reply to post by Thurisaz


Why bother with this?

In my case, when I was involved in dating, I wanted to understand what I was doing. If I would play tennis, I would try to find out strategies, how to achieve my goals, learn the basic skills, etc. Same here. But I am not really a game-player in any extreme sense. I started as a nice guy and turned into a fairly independent guy who learned to use his un-nice urges to some advantage. But I would call dating a "market" rather than just a "game", perhaps that is more accurate. When participating in that market, I was fascinated to learn what was going on!

Does that lead to more success? I think so, but I would do it now in any case. It's just the way I approach games and markets, but I'm no longer in that market.

reply to post by MrdDstrbr


Because it's useful to show how that simple concept conflicts with the social message, in many amazing and startling ways. How radical that simple idea will feel, especially to most women one applies it to!

Originally posted by oniongrass
reply to post by orangetom1999

 

Guys, you really have a treasure here, if orangetom is a woman. When I was dating and had to play that game, I will boast that I figured out much of what she's saying for myself, by effort and quiet investigation. The knowledge allowed me to stay sane more or less in the process and succeed on my own terms, but with some compromise. Marriage is a compromise, but indeed value must come from both sides.

This lady is telling you the inside truth. The sort of thing most women are not cognitive enough to know, or unwilling face, and certainly not very interested in communicating!

Thank you orangetom. You are doing a service for healthy productive relationships and the next generation of babies to be born in good stable marriages.

edit on 17-9-2010 by oniongrass because: (no reason given)

LOL LOL LOL,

No oniongrass, I am not a woman. Very much a man in every respect. I just taught myself to observe human behavior and became unimpressed with much of what passes for womanhood as well as what passes for manhood. Much of this has been hijacked or supplanted by cheap merchandizing as I have stated on many posts.

What many men fail to do is properly lead. This is clear to me by the tenor of many posts on here by the males. They spend alot of time in insecurity and trying out for approval rather than being mature and leading. This makes it very easy for many females to instead ..lead them and often by subtilty ..without many of the males even knowing this is being done to them. The females lead the males and often privily substitute the female value systems for the males...and expect the males to take the RISKS for them to make their female expectations come true.

Once I understood this I was able to look back on many of my relationships and see this taking place from the begining. The substitution of values. Appearance and beauty values of the female along with concealed/sometimes not concealed sexuality are how this is done. What you learn is that a high maintenance women with only these investments or skills is in reality very very ugly and feral. I have known many of them. When the biology runs out and it is close to midnight ..these aging women will grow olde alone unless they have properly worked the system to leech off a mans production through the courts such that they can have life without RISK. This behavior is often hidden and concealed. This is not a downtrodden group of females who can work a system like this based on male ignorance. And there is alot of male ignorance out here.
Many of these women when the biology begins to run out and options are limited ..get married to a man who is more ignorant that they and has not learned this simple truth about wildlife out here. And I know a number of these as well. Until then they play the system for all they can get with someone else taking the RISKS for them..including the system. There are no such safety nets for the male.

And this article by the OP is just one example of how these women work the system based on male ignorance.
What is also clear is that the male in the article is just as ignorant as is the female.
And some of these peoples are now our leaders.

No I am not a female. Very much male.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Well, brother Orangetom, thanks for the clarification!

I found when dating that the better looking more desirable women were generally more straightforward, whereas the less good-looking ones were more exploitive. Perhaps the latter had long-term exploitation in view as you describe.

It's human nature for the female to want to nest, which means the male has to provide the nest. That's what involves risk in our society, especially in this time of economic decline. The female's job is doable, the male's not necessarily so, and so most females would prefer the riskless one, even decent ones. The difference to me is, the decent ones aren't scheming about it, although they may share the same incentives and preferences. Or they simply expect to have to earn money too.

The legal system is very punishing of males, for reasons I don't fully understand. Are the judges stupid too?

reply to post by oniongrass


The judicial system is very feminine, It is also politic which is feminine and also occult, hidden, concealed in its motives and directions.

Many women also operate in an occult, hidden, concealed, subtle manner. Much of this is the fault of men and males for not being aware/educated in it.

As to RISK..most women prefer that the male take the extreme risk..just like a politician. This way they can sit in the background and direct. When you can get others to RISK for you ...you can claim equality and such..while also claiming :"Victimhood" just like a politician.
This is not a pattern of operation socially allowed to the male.

Many women have a heavy investment in beauty values and thinking. It would not do to RISK such a precious lifelong investment and therefore lower ones value in the marketplace against the competition. The courts tend to go along with this view and thinking because the women in this country are the determiners of where and how the bulk of the monies are spent. They dont necessarily RISK for the monies but they do determine where and how they are spent..especially on big ticket items. Economics is politics..is court proceedings/effects.
And women in this country are also a big and influential voting block along with a spending block.

This is why the courts are the way they are. Until you have equal risk..you will never have equality.

The only way to get this is to feminize the male to where he too is high maintenance.

Thanks,
Orangetom