Planet xv253 (AIASP)

Planet xv253


Reaching down to pluck a solitary strand of blue green grass from the top of the hillside, Marina placed it into her mouth gently and began to suckle the sweet juicy flavor as if it would be for the last time.

The team would return tomorrow if all went well with the mission schedule.
6 months she thought and still alone. Not a single soul had she encountered on the strange blue planet.

Abandoned adobe style buildings had been her security, her home. Always plenty of clear blue skies and an abundance of herbs and wild roots to fortify her tall thin frame.

Deciding she should have worn clothes today as the winds whipped swirling around her sun tanned naked body.

Fall was in the air and with it the knowledge that she would soon be returning home, half a light year away...

Marina began the long walk back to the center of the adobe structures taking note of the snow up high on the mountain peaks in the distance. It was from the mountain peak that her journey had begun on this beautiful lonely planet.

Almost as if holographic images ,she saw in the distance in the center of the small town a large band of people walking with what appeared to be colorful blankets wrapped around themselves toward where she had made her temporary home.

Like a mirage in the hot dessert sun the figures began to slowly fade as she got closer to their now fleeting images. The sound of drums beat like the rhythm of the heart, barely audible, and then disappeared like the images of the people before her. They were the ones that had drawn the pictures of her craft on the walls of the caves nearby.

Gathering a few branches of dried sage brush for her evening fire and cup of tea, Marina walked into the deserted yet ancient cities. A small adobe dwelling with a modest round earthen fireplace in the corner of the one room house was were she made her home.The temperature was always comfortable and it protected her from the monsoons that came in the late summer months.

Deciding to hit one of the many hot springs before returning to pack her bags for the return home she headed towards the now crimson sunset to the largest of the springs to luxuriate in the clear clean sulfur waters.

Making a cup of herb soup and hot tea, she sat with her note book and made the final entries for debriefing with her crew tomorrow.
Marina felt tears stream down her cheeks as she wrote about this planet in her final entry. It was in her opinion they had also suffered the same fate from the passing comet debris. An entire race of troglodyte people, animals, birds and insects gone within one life cycle.


Planet xv253/Negative for life.

Fin

[edit on 15-2-2008 by antar]

Absolutely loved the ending.

Now that is what I call I short story. Well done. Have a star.

LOVED IT.

Excellent antar, starred and flagged.

Nicely descriptive, i could see story as i read it, including the naked chick.

mojo

Thank you both, I did have a lot more detail and thought processes written into the first draft yet editing took them out. It was a joy to spin this tale as I see set somewhere in the mountainous regions of New Mexico in the very distant past on Earth.

This is exactly what I needed after half an hour of browsing through ATS Threads. Lots of beauty...and a reminder of what might have happened to us long ago.

Nice.......everything you could want from a story....colour, texture and beauty......perfect.

A star for you...

Regards,

JQ.

Your comments are so touching to me, thank you so much, it is good to know that my words are understood.

reply to post by antar

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I really enjoyed your story..

I came across the word "troglodyte" that you used toward the end of the story, and I had a little chuckle to myself because that is the exact word my husband sometimes calls me.

We both don't know what the word means he says he just made it up. However, now you have used it could you let me know the definition of it... Or have you somehow made it up as well?

I hope it dosen't turn out to be anything to disgusting because I've have kind of gotten used to him calling me that in a "playful" kinda way.

Thnx

reply to post by Paulene-abeth

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troglodyte



me thinks someones husband is in trouble. LOL

Good story Antar :-)
It was so smooth and easy to read. It made me feel like I was there.

Hey All! I just got a blasting from the misses (Paulene-abeth)

I honestly didn't know what it meant....honestly, I really really really didn't, I swear

Nah she didn't really blast me, but she said she most definately will and a swift kick up the... you can guess - if I ever say it again!

I wonder if this is the first time ATS has gotten someone in trouble with their partner! Top job people

Thx

reply to post by Im a Marty

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LOL, so sorry man. If i had of known it was you that was going to get in trouble.......
nah i probably would have done it anyway.

reply to post by mojo4sale

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Well done Mojo! Couldn't have replied better. However, as for Paulene-abeth...

It is a sweet name to be called. If of course your DNA reaches back to the beginning origins of the Native people of the Americas.

I loved your story Antar.
Visual & Beauty.
Starred & Flagged.

Thank you mountainstar, I appreciate you girl.

reply to post by antar

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I'm going with.............Magnificent.

What a talent you have. Perfectly blended.

Becker

fantastic story Antar. First one I've actually read here on ATS but it sure wont be the last.
Starred and flagged.

To quote the animated Emoticons on ATS Adverts..

"OMG - Get away!!".

That was a top story Antar. Short, to the point, and the mind fills in the gaps which indicates great writing structure. Did you ever take English Literature? I wish I did now

Fantastic read!

Thx

Wow. That was something! Very good writing. I like short stories, but yours begs for more.

I certainly hope not, I am by far not one of the top ranking writers here on the Forum, it is always a pleasure to be in such great company. It really does help raise my bar each time writing a new story. Badge01 told me at one point in his own words that the really long and wordy ones like I first did just got laughed at by some here. You should give it a go!