(AIASP) The Cave.

Stupid people.. were the words that ran through her mind as she attached the rope to her harness and stood on edge of the cave chamber looking down. Potholing was her passion and managed to find this place when she was a child with her dad, he said no one had ever been down here before. So now was the time. He taught her everything she knew, gave her advice, was always there when she needed him. She missed him, so much.

Ten years she had been working for that company, proving herself and working her way to the top, watching her male colleagues get promoted before her. She needed to prove she was the best, better than them, even if it meant working the long hours and playing by the rules. But did that get her the promotion, hell no. Just another young guy with no idea of how the company works got the job. She was over qualified. The rope dropped down into the chamber below and she lowered herself down.

The place was huge with water running down the sides of the walls, it felt cold down here. The first thing her dad taught her was never do this on your own. What could go wrong, she needed to prove something to herself. Unclipping the rope and she walked deeper into the cave, and switched on the helmet light to look around. There was a narrow passage over to one side which she could get through, so slowly began to squeeze herself inside, crawling deeper into the darkness.

The light helped but all around was just black, only ever showing the way ahead. This made it feel so enclosed, the tunnel got smaller and smaller. As the daylight faded from view she crawled and pushed onwards moving from tunnel to tunnel, climbing and falling over the rocks in the way. She came across a ledge that dropped away and decided to climb down. Securing herself to another rope she worked her way down into the dark.

The light flickered..she drew a sharp breath..again it flickered.."Oh god no" she cried grabbing the rope tighter, her breathing began to get faster. The second thing her dad had taught her was always check your equipment..the light went out..

Nothing, just total darkness, she could hear her own breathing, faster, shorter, sucking in gulps of air, holding the rope tighter and tighter "oh god, oh god..." she said over and over. No one knew where she was, no one knew this place existed. Alone..in the dark.

She had to move, focus on what was happening and just move, slowly she started to pull herself up the rope, shaking, shivering, it began to feel colder now. Much colder now. Reaching the top of the ledge and managing to pull herself over, she unhooked the rope and looked ahead into absolute nothing. Putting her hands out in front of her she felt for the walls, grabbing, reaching, touching everything she could find. The rocks were cold. Slowly began to edge herself forwards, crawling along the floor of the tunnel. Still searching and feeling with her hands as they began to bleed, it was painful but she didnt care, didnt have time, the need to get out was the only thought in her mind. Her finger nails broke as her hands pushed into the mud and onto the rocks. But she didnt care.

Scrambling forward, faster and faster her hands were moving in all directions, up ahead a small beam of light fell into the tunnel, it was faint but it was daylight. Rushing forwards to the light she began to trip over, stumble and fall, the entrance to the cave chamber was in front of her and she could see it, she ran into full daylight. Collapsing on the floor, she lay there on her back and looked up the sky "That was so stupid" she said out of breath, "so stupid" and with that started to cry. No one was watching her, no one was there, she was alone. There was nothing left to prove anymore, to herself or anyone else. She already knew she was the best and didnt need some stupid cave to tell her that, she got up and climbed out of the chamber,... she was ready to do battle again. The End.

Regards,

JQ

Great allegory John Q.

I think anyone who has ever sat in a cubicle can relate.

You have my vote for the ability to utilize the English language and create a landscape of color.

Fast flowing story. Very easy to read. A few good lessons contained.

I liked the personal conquest. The story can be read on many levels.

Good work

Becker

Very nice!

Good descriptions and I love the last paragraph :-)

reply to post by John Q


Nice story John Q. There are so many trials in life that make you want to prove yourself. I feel your story is proof that no matter what you think you know there's always a better solution. She was one of the lucky ones and survived. There's been others that died trying to prove their selfs and that's why I feel your story is important. Prove what you can prove and practice the rest. Star for you and flag. I feel others including me have done stupid or scary things that one wouldn't try again. I like the way the ending actually portrayed the beginning sentence.

[edit on 3/13/2008 by Solarskye]

A frightening analogy - but all too real for many - and the scariest thing is that the harsher elements have more true-to-life correlations than some would admit.

Makes me wonder. And since that's what it's supposed to make us do - the story is a success...

Good job!

I really enjoyed your story John Q. Somethings have to be proven even, if it's just for yourself. Maybe a little dangerous, but it sure makes you feel stronger afterwards.

starred & flagged

Thanks for your kind words everyone.

We have some great writers on ATS and the stories in this competition were of a very high standard. So congratulations to you all.

At the moment im working on a much bigger story for this forum and will post it here as soon as its completed..

Regards,

JQ.