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He cowered in the corner

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posted on Feb, 9 2008 @ 01:44 AM
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He cowered in the corner, crouched into as small a ball as he could. Squeezing himself ever deeper into the darkness of the corner, hoping the grumbling, snorting, sniffing monster wouldn’t see him.

Sweat poured down the back of his neck, which cooled quickly in the chill of the deep night and only contributed to the chills that were constantly running down his spine.

He shivered with utter fear.

One loud breath, one heart beat too many and he was sure he’d be found.

Eyes shut so tightly that the muscles were tiring and begging for release. But he daren’t open his eyes in case he caught sight of the beast and would scream at the terror before him.

He began wishing it gone, clenching his fist and willing it gone. Begging for this nightmare to be over. Fists clenching tighter still, whites of the knuckles standing out like search lights, constantly wishing for the horror to stop, finger nails drawing blood in the palms of his hands.

Oh, the pain, the horror, the purely terrifying position he was in. How could he have ever let himself get in such a state. Where did he go wrong, why must he now suffer this unnerving agony.

The monster shifted slightly, its huge blood red bulk slumbered silently across the soft carpeted floor. He could just see it’s shadow now, thrown to the floor from the lights in the street. It was huge. He’s sure it could easily crush him.

The beast sniffed and snarled as it went about its grissly business. Throwing items around like the feathers from a plucked chicken.

He could bear it no more.. he just had to try to make to make a run for the open door, but he couldn’t move. He was completely frozen with fear. His leg muscles ached from being crouched for so long, the arches in his feet were screaming in agony from the position he was squatted in. He covered his face with his trembling hands, blood slightly trickling form the wounds caused by his nails. Palms sweaty, meeting the cold sweat on his face made him shiver even more.

Surely he was making too much noise, surely the beast would find him, surely he should make a run for it….

He opened an eye and there it was, the huge beast, just in front of him, but with its back towards him.

Could he run faster than this huge beast could move?
He believed he could, he prepared himself to spring out and run as fast as he could. He’s sure he could find safety under his bed. If he could reach its dark sanctuary.

Trembling, he slowly raised himself, inch by inch. The sudden rush of blood back into his legs sent a flush of heat burn through his muscles, the arches of his feet stopped screaming as his heels touched the ground.

Slowly he turned, keeping as small a form as he possibly could, praying that he didn’t tread on a loose floor board….

And then he ran, ran as fast as he could. He sprang so hard he pulled a muscle in his calf and pain shot up his leg. He made a small scream of agony and clenched his jaw tight trying to hold back the pain.
Then it grabbed him, its gnarled hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around on the spot.
Its face came down inches from his own. Its small beady eyes looked at him in almost startled amazement. Its mouth opened and it shouted ho, ho, ho merry Christmas.

And with that it turned and whooshed up the chimney and was gone….



posted on Feb, 9 2008 @ 02:24 AM
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Eeeek! Play dead, get a gun, reach for anything and defend yourself! This was a great suspense story and I thought the monster was a great, big grizzly bear. You got me good on the ending. Ho-ho-ha, indeed!



posted on Feb, 9 2008 @ 02:57 AM
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lol That was good, had me till the end..

I thought he was going to run for the light and it was going to be his dog or something lol,

funny stuff, Loved the wording..






posted on Feb, 9 2008 @ 05:43 AM
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The tension in your story is enough to make for great drama. My only criticism is that it wasn't long enough.

It put me in mind of the 'old fashioned' St Nicholas in Holland. During my childhood, the image of St Nick and his 'Swarte Piet' henchmen were truly frightening to the very young.

You see, in those days (early 50's), if you had been a BAD child, it meant you could be taken into slavery to serve the wishes of new masters... the Caliphate in Southern Spain (which hasn't been in Toledo since the 1100's [I think
] ).

But, hey... it's the thought that counts and being under 5 years old, you haven't really hit those history books yet.

Nice to see you post this story...



posted on Feb, 9 2008 @ 06:02 AM
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Thank you very much all.

I actually wrote that just over a year ago and only discovered the short stories forum the other day.

I've got some ideas that I wanted to incorporate into a much bigger story, but I might save those for the moment and get a little more creative here and get some practice in before hitting anything major.

Anyway, there will be more to come soon, and I'd like to thank Voidmaster for his extremely great honour that he bestowed upon me



posted on Feb, 9 2008 @ 06:33 AM
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Very well written.Santa had me on the edge of my seat.



posted on Feb, 11 2008 @ 07:13 PM
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Wonderful!!!!
That was excellent!

Great job!



posted on Feb, 11 2008 @ 08:13 PM
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EXCELLENT

Love your style ...Can't wait for more



posted on Feb, 12 2008 @ 10:57 AM
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Hahaha! Really good ending! The suspense was good too.



posted on Dec, 15 2009 @ 03:05 PM
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'tis the season...


So I thought I'd just bump this for any who have not read it before.

happy yule tidings everyone


And beware the beast...

It's all a conspiracy (apparently)
Santa does exist



posted on Dec, 14 2012 @ 09:54 AM
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Well, this hasn't seen the light of day since 2009 according to the last post...

'Tis the season once again for this monster to arise and do his stuff..






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